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This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Sure, the easiest way to tell your crush you like him may be to come right out and say it, but you may be too shy to spill the beans. Don’t worry—there are plenty of ways to tell your crush you like him without words. Once he reads the signs, you’ll be on the way to enjoying a fun and meaningful relationship with the boy of your dreams.
Steps
Part 1
Part 1 of 3:
Getting the Body Language Down
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1Make eye contact—and then break it. One way to let your crush see that you like him without opening your mouth is to simply lock eyes with him. Make eye contact for just one or two seconds—just enough time to show you’re paying attention—and then look down at the floor or just avert your gaze. This will show your crush that you like him without being too obvious; if you simply stare at him, that may be coming on too strong.[1]
- You can try this trick just one or two times when you’re in the same room together, whether you’re at a party or in class. Just try to be subtle about it; you don’t want him to catch you staring too many times!
- You can even give him a small flirtatious smile to go along with the look.
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2Smile. You don’t need to give your crush an ear-to-ear grin to show him that you’re interested. Simply look at him, give him a small smile, and then look away or start a conversation with him. Your smile shouldn’t be too big or eager, or he may just think you’re being friendly; instead, try to be a little bit mysterious when you smile at him, so you play coy while letting him know you’re interested.[2]
- If you really want to up your flirtation factor, you can even learn to smile with your eyes.
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3Turn your body toward your crush. Another way to let your crush know you like him is through some simple open body language. If your body is “open,” that means that you’re standing tall, face your crush, turn your feet and shoulders toward him, and keep your arms out instead of crossed over your chest. This shows your crush that you’re interested in him and that you like being around him. The next time you’re standing next to him or sitting next to him, make sure you’re turning your body in his direction so he sees that you like him.[3]
- For example, if you’re talking to him and cross your legs, make sure your crossed leg is crossed toward him, not away, so you have more of an open posture.
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4Move closer to him. Another way to show your crush that you like him is to simply move a bit closer to him, whether you’re talking to him or just hanging out at the same party. You don’t need to be too forward or start close-talking or making him uncomfortable, but you should show him that you like him by simply gravitating toward him in social situations. Without being clingy, you can show your crush that you like him simply by paying a bit more attention than you do to other guys by standing next to him, sitting by him, or making sure you get a chance to chat when you’re in a small group.
- When you do talk to him, you can make an effort to stand a bit closer or to sit a bit closer to him as the conversation progresses. If he doesn’t move away but moves toward you, then this may be a sign that he returns your feelings.
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5Break the touch barrier. If you want to tell your crush you like him without blurting it out completely, one thing you can do is to give him a light touch or two. If you’re talking to him or pass by him, you can give him a light touch on the shoulder or upper arm, or even playfully swat his arm if he’s teasing you. If you’re standing or sitting next to him, you can casually let your feet or knees touch from time to time to show him that you want to get closer.[4]
- Just a bit of physical attention will let your crush know that you like him. You don’t need to push it too far; just touching him once or twice during a conversation will show him that you like him.
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6Look your best. Now, this doesn’t mean that you have to dress to the nines or put on a ton of makeup to get your crush’s attention. However, it does mean that you should look and feel beautiful, fresh, and clean when you talk to your crush; putting an effort into your appearance will give you a boost of confidence, and it will also show your crush that you want to make a good impression on him. Make sure to wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and not to pretend to be someone you’re not.
- If you’re hanging out with your crush and just a small group of people, dressing up will show him that you’ve put some thought into how you look for him, which may indicate that you do have a crush on him.
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Part 2
Part 2 of 3:
Giving Subtle Hints
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1Become friends. One way to show the guy you like him is to try to be his friend. As long as you don’t get into the friend zone, this will show that you’re taking a real interest in him. Ask him questions about his life, share his interests, and just spend some time around him, whether you’re working on a group project or hanging out with friends. Just make sure he doesn’t see you as a kid sister or one of the guys, and don’t fall into the role of the person who hears about his romantic troubles.[5]
- Becoming his friend will show him that you want to get closer to him. This can be a great way to show him you like him, especially if you don’t have many other guy friends. It also helps you get to know the guy before jumping head-first into a relationship. Often, crushes can come about on a whim, and our actions can be impulsive. Friendship is a great way to test yourself to see if you are committed before a relationship blossoms.
- Take it slow. If you don’t know him very well, start with a simple conversation and work your way up to hanging out.
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2Don’t show off. If you want to tell your crush you like him, then you should show him that you’re comfortable being yourself around him. If you find yourself bragging, talking about how great you are, telling exaggerated stories for laughs, or just doing something that doesn’t feel like you, then this won’t win your crush over. He’ll be more likely to think you have a real interest in him if you’re being yourself, opening up, and talking about your interests or your friends.[6]
- Remember that, in the end, you want a guy who likes you for who you are. You don’t want him to like you for being someone else, because that will make it hard to start a real relationship while staying true to who you are.
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3Give him a small gift. A small gift can be a simple way to show your crush that you like him without coming on too strong. Simply get him something he’s mentioned or something you think he would like, such as a book or a CD. You can also be silly and get him something more practical, like a pack of pencils because you noticed that he never remembers to bring a pencil to class. You can write him a short note along with the gift and give it to him in person or leave it on his desk.
- Of course, this works best if you know him and are already friends; if you’ve never met, then giving him a gift may overwhelm him a little.
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4Ask him questions to show that you care. One way to tell your crush you like him is to show a genuine interest in him. To do this, you should simply ask him questions about his life and make an effort to really listen to the answers instead of planning your next move. Ask him about his weekend plans, his favorite sports teams, his school activities, his friends, or his favorite bands or movie stars to get a conversation going; this will show that you care about him as a person, and that you may have a little crush on him as well.[7]
- You can also ask him about his pets, his favorite movies, or his favorite things to do for fun.
- Just make sure not to ask too many personal questions at first or he may get uncomfortable.
- Make sure to share stuff about yourself too; you don’t want to sound like you’re interrogating him.
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5Tease him. Your crush will start to see that you like him if you start teasing him a bit. You don’t need to lay it on too thick to get the message across; just playfully tease him about his new haircut, his favorite sports team (especially if the team keeps losing), his obsession with his favorite band, or other things you know he won’t take too personally. This shows that you like him enough to engage him in a fun, lighthearted conversation.
- Just make sure he knows you’re teasing and that he takes it well. He may be too sensitive about his favorite sports team, for example, to think there’s anything funny about the fact that they keep losing.
- Let him see that you don’t tease just anybody. If he thinks that you tease all of his friends, too, then he won’t see that he’s special to you.
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6Help him out. Your crush will suspect that you like him if you start helping him out. You don’t need to go too far out of your way to help him, but making just a few small gestures can show him that you really do have a special interest in him. This can mean picking up his homework for him when he’s home sick, letting him borrow a textbook, or answering some questions that he may have. This can be a great way to show him you care as long as he doesn’t take advantage of you.
- Ideally, he should find a way to help you out, too. You don’t want him to think that you’ll just be there at his beck and call.
- Look for ways that you can help him; he may be too shy to do something like ask for him with the math homework, but you can offer to do it and see what he says.
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7Flirt with him. Flirting will definitely let your crush know that you’re into him. To flirt with him, you just have to tease him a bit, be playful, and show a special interest in him over all of the other guys in the room. You can play a little bit hard to get while letting him see that you do like him by smiling at him, laughing at his jokes, and going out of your way to make him see that you want to spend more time with him.[8]
- Flirting can be a little tricky to master, but it basically means not taking yourself too seriously while you chat about lighthearted topics with your crush, letting him see that you want to know what he has to say while also teasing him a little bit.
- You can lick your lips or play with your hair a bit while you talk to your crush to be a bit more playful.
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Part 3
Part 3 of 3:
Really Telling Him
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1Don’t have your friends tell him. If you do want your crush to know how much you like him, you should make sure to tell him yourself, even if you do it in a letter. While having your friends tell your crush how you feel may be easier, it will make you look like you’re not ready for a mature relationship or like you don’t feel comfortable talking to him yourself. Even if he does say that he likes you back, this won’t start your relationship off on the right foot.
- Plus, you don’t want him to feel annoyed by all of your friends surrounding him; respect his privacy and tell him about your feelings yourself.
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2Write him a note or a letter. If you’re too afraid to tell your crush you like him in person, then one thing you can do is to write him a short note or a longer letter letting him know how you feel. You can slide it into his locker or hand it to him. Tell him that you like him, give him a reason or two why if you want, and ask if he returns your feelings. This is a great way to directly tell him how you feel while taking off some of the pressure of having to do it in person.
- Keep it short and sweet. You don’t want to go into too much detail about how you like him without knowing whether or not he returns your feelings.
- You can tell him the best way to contact you, either by telling him where he can leave his response or by giving him your number.
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3Call him. Another way to tell him that you like him is to give him a call and simply to tell him how you feel. Yeah, this technically means telling him how you feel with words, but if you find that telling him without words hasn’t been working for you, then it may be time to come out with it. Give him a call, take a deep breath, and quickly tell him how you feel and ask him if he returns your feelings. You’ll have your answer before you know it.[9]
- Just say something like, “I’ve had a lot of fun hanging out with you for the past few weeks, and I want you to know that I like you. I wanted to know if you shared my feelings.”
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4Just tell him in person. If the idea of calling him to tell him your feelings doesn’t feel quite right, then you may just have to pick the right time and place to have the conversation in person. Just ask him if he can meet you in a place where you can be alone, make eye contact, and simply tell him how you feel. Give him some time to react and respond and try not to put the pressure on him; keep things lighthearted instead of sounding intense.
- You can make a bit of small talk to make him comfortable, but don’t be afraid to jump in and share your feelings.
- You can give him a small compliment or two while you say that you like him. You can say something like, “Nobody can make me laugh like you can” to show why you like him.
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5React appropriately. Once your crush knows you like him, he’ll either say he shares your feelings or will want to stay friends. If he says he likes you too, then you can celebrate and get excited to start a relationship with him. If he doesn’t feel the same way, however, it’s important to stay mature and to keep things positive instead of getting emotional or making him feel bad for not feeling the same way. Though you will be upset, you should make it seem like it’s not a big deal and then be sad about it once you’re away from your crush.[10]
- No matter what happens, you want to leave a good impression. If you start calling him names or being mean to him for not sharing your feelings, that will take you down a dark path.
- Even if he doesn’t share your feelings, he’ll respect you for being open and honest with him. You should be proud of yourself for putting yourself out there and making an effort.
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Expert Q&A
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QuestionCan I try holding his hand on the first date?
Cher GopmanCher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
Dating CoachYou can, but I'd recommend just trying to have fun on the first date. Get to know him, enjoy your time together, and just let things develop organically. If you end up holding hands, great! If you don't, try not to put too much importance on this.
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Warnings
- Don't change to impress him. If he likes you he should like the way you are.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- If you're trying too hard, he'll notice.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Don't ignore him. If he wants to hang out with you, it's a good sign.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Body language means everything, so make sure to open yourself up to him, but don't scare him.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Excessive flirting is never a good thing.⧼thumbs_response⧽
- Do not giggle excessively when around him. It can be annoying.⧼thumbs_response⧽
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References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/cutting-edge-leadership/201404/5-secret-powers-eye-contact
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201206/the-ultimate-guide-body-language
- ↑ Cher Gopman. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/3-vital-elements-attraction
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/200505/how-seduce-lover?collection=73794
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201606/3-vital-elements-attraction
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/love-digitally/201605/3-steps-more-successful-flirting
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201612/8-ways-launch-new-romantic-relationship
About This Article
Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post. This article has been viewed 649,297 times.
Co-authors: 95
Updated: February 5, 2023
Views: 649,297
Categories: Crushes on Boys
Article SummaryX
If you want to tell your crush that you like him but are a little bit shy, try using your body language to show him how you feel without using words. One way you can get his attention is by making eye contact for just 1 or 2 seconds, then looking down at the floor. Make sure to be subtle when you look at him, because if you stare for too long or too often, it might make him feel uncomfortable. Another way to show your crush you like him is by going out of your way to get closer to him, especially when you're in a group. When you talk to him, stand a little closer to him, and if he moves in too, then he might feel the same way! If you’re already friends, give him a small but personal gift, like a book or CD, that shows you listen when he talks about his interests. For more tips, like how to playfully tease your crush, read on!
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