How to Survive Without a Girlfriend or Boyfriend

Co-authored by Lena Dicken, Psy.D and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: February 4, 2022 References

When you’re single, it can feel like everyone else around you is coupled up. Fortunately, there are tons of ways you can lift your spirits and be happy about your single status. In this article, we’ll tell you how you can enjoy being single to not only survive but thrive on your own.

1

Enjoy the freedom that comes with being single.

When you’re single, you can do anything you want without checking in. Want to head out to the beach one day? Do it! Want to pack up your life and move to a new city? You can! You have the freedom that other people with partners don’t have, and that can be really freeing.^{[1]
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- You’re also free to casually date and meet new people if you want to.

2

Spend time with your friends and family.

You don’t need a partner to have great relationships. Your friends and close family members will always be there for you, and you can spend more time with them when you’re single. Dedicate time to hanging out with the people you love, both to distract you from being single, but also just to foster healthy relationships.^{[2]
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- If your friends and family live far away, try calling or video chatting with them often.
- If you just got out of a relationship, it can feel natural to isolate yourself from others. However, spending time with people is a great way to heal and move on from the past.

3

Meet new people out and about.

You can expand your social circle and make new connections. Even if you have a ton of friends already, it’s always fun to meet new people. If you’re in school or at work, try chatting with your classmates or co-workers. If you’re at the grocery store or a coffee shop, say hi to the person in line behind you. You never know who you might meet!^{[3]
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- A great way to do this is just by introducing yourself. For instance, if you see someone who looks cool while you’re out and about, you might say, “Hey, I’m Johnathan. It’s nice to meet you.”
- Talking to people while you’re out and about is also a good way to meet potential dates, if that’s what you’re after.

4

Join a hobby group or club.

Use your creative outlets to distract yourself and minimize stress. Use your free time to jump into a hobby you love, or find a new one that you’ve never tried before. This is a great way to fill up free time and meet new people, too.^{[4]
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- You might dry disc golfing, playing board games, painting, or doing embroidery.
- Have a hobby you love? Try looking for like-minded people by searching Facebook groups or NextDoor.

5

Exercise a few times per week.

Physical activity keeps you healthy and makes you feel good. Try to exercise at least a few times a week to stay active and physically fit. You might try running, hiking, biking, walking, or swimming to get your heart rate up. Plus, this is another way to meet new people who like the same things as you!^{[5]
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- Try joining a class to keep you accountable and also meet new people.
- You could also try yoga, dancing, or jazzercise.

6

Travel and see the world.

Even a weekend road trip can help you get outside your comfort zone. If you have the budget for it, you could even buy a plane ticket somewhere new. Taking some time to yourself will not only boost your spirits, but it’s a great way to get out of the house and enjoy life on your own. If you want to, you can invite a friend; otherwise, make it a solo trip to have tons of fun by yourself.
- Another great benefit of being single? You can go anywhere you want! You don’t have to check in with anyone about your destination, and you can book it as spontaneously as you’d like.

7

Get a furry companion.

A pet can keep you company if you’re struggling to live on your own. If you feel like a furry friend might help you, head to your local animal shelter to adopt a cat or dog in need. You can bring them home and enjoy their company, and also use them as an excuse to get some exercise.^{[6]
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- If dogs or cats aren’t your thing, try getting a lizard, a bunny, or even a fish instead.

8

Dive into your studies or your career.

Studies show that single people often have more time to dedicate to their jobs. If you’re working or studying in an industry that you love, spend time working up the ladder and getting promotions whenever you can. Since you don’t have a partner to distract you, you can throw yourself into your career and really move up.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
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- Don’t love the industry that you’re in? It’s never too late to go back to school!

9

Volunteer in your spare time.

Not only will you help others, but it will make you feel good, too. If you’re struggling to figure out what to do on the weekends, reach out to a shelter or a food bank to see if they need any assistance. You can make people really happy and help them out a lot by giving away your free time.^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- If you’re an animal lover, contact an animal shelter near you to see if they’re accepting volunteers.

10

Date yourself.

Take yourself out on the town and treat yourself to nice things. You don’t need a partner to feel spoiled! If there’s something you want to do, like going to a show or trying new food, don’t wait around for anyone else to take you. Head out on your own to maintain your independence and feel great about yourself.^{[9]
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- You might take yourself to the movies, buy yourself a little gift, or treat yourself to a relaxing bubble bath.

11

Practice self care.

Try to do something nice for yourself at least once a day. Surviving and thriving includes treating yourself with kindness. Set aside 10 to 15 minutes a day to practice self care by doing something stress-relieving. You might soak in the bath, take a long walk, read a good book, or call up a friend. You might just find that doing something small makes you feel a whole lot better.^{[10]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- You could also try painting your nails, doing a face mask, listening to new music, or cooking yourself a nice meal.

12

Celebrate your achievements.

Give yourself a pat on the back to remind yourself how far you’ve come. If you get a good grade in class or find an awesome new job, don’t forget to celebrate that! You might buy yourself something nice, invite a few friends over, or simply reward yourself with a relaxing night at home.^{[11]
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- This might feel a little silly at first, but it’s important to recognize your own milestones. It’s the best way to see how far you’ve come and remind yourself how far you can go in the future.

Expert Q&A
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Is it bad to date right after a breakup?

Lena Dicken, Psy.D
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Lena Dicken is a Clinical Psychologist based in Santa Monica, California. With over eight years of experience, Dr. Dicken specializes in therapy for anxiety, depression, life transitions, and relationship difficulties. She utilizes an integrative approach combining Psychodynamic, Cognitive Behavioral, and Mindfulness-based therapies. Dr. Dicken holds a BS in Integrative Medicine from the University of Hawaii at Manoa, an MA in Counseling Psychology from Argosy University Los Angeles, and a Doctor of Psychology (Psy.D) in Clinical Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology at Westwood. Dr. Dicken’s work has been featured in GOOP, The Chalkboard Magazine, and in numerous other articles and podcasts. She is a licensed psychologist with the state of California.

Lena Dicken, Psy.D

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

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I always encourage people to let them be single for some amount of time. It's hard to fully engage and show up as your full self if you haven't had time to heal from or grieve for your last relationship. That can start a dangerous pattern where you're dating back-to-back, and then when you do eventually end up single, you'll have to process all of that heartbreak from all of those relationships.