22 Signs You’ll Never Get Married (But Will Still Be Happy Anyway)

Co-authored by Kemar & DeAnne Johnson and Luke Smith, MFA

Last Updated: March 16, 2023 References

Marriage can be daunting. The relationships, the commitments, the financial questions. There can be loads of pressure to get hitched–from parents, friends, even ourselves–but is marriage for everyone? Is it a realistic option for you? Would it even be possible? Here are 20 reasons you’ll never get married, and why that might not be such a bad thing after all.

Things You Should Know

If you enjoy being single or value your sexual freedom, marriage might be not be a good fit for you.
Having divorced parents or divorced friends can give you a negative opinion on marriage, and make it less likely to happen for you.
People who weren't raised religious are less likely to get married, compared to those who were.
If you don't believe in marriage as an institution or find fulfillment in your other relationships, you could be less likely to get married.

1

You enjoy being single.

You’re too in love with the single life to be in love. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s perfectly possible to live a full and meaningful life without sticking a ring on it.^{[1]
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Research source} Satisfaction comes in many forms, and not everyone will be satisfied by marriage.

2

Your standards are high.

You don’t want to marry just anyone, and so maybe you won’t marry at all. There’s a lot to consider before getting married to someone, like your compatibility with your partner, their career, whether they want children, etc. Wanting someone who checks all the boxes isn’t a bad thing, it’s actually pretty prudent.^{[2]
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Research source} Of course, it could mean you’ll never find anyone who does pass every test, but maybe you’re better off without them, then.

3

You’re afraid of commitment.

Marriage involves more promises than you’re comfortable making. You’re committing yourself to one person, and maybe even one way of life, for what might be the rest of your life. That’s a lot to ask someone, and for some people it’s too much. There are plenty of ways to express your affection and commitment to another person without making vows.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University
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4

You’re afraid of divorce.

You’ve seen too many marriages end poorly. Maybe your own parents got divorced, or you have friends whose relationships ended that way. Divorce is a common occurrence, and it’s a risk you have to consider. Maybe that’s a risk you’re more comfortable not taking.^{[4]
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5

You value your sexual freedom.

You’re not ready to give up the options that come with being single. Many marriages are monogamous, and many partners require that you only ever sleep with them. It’s totally understandable to value your own independence.^{[5]
X
Trustworthy Source
Go Ask Alice
Medical advice site with content written by health promotion specialists affiliated with Columbia University
Go to source}

6

You don’t believe in marriage as a concept.

You think marriage is outdated or even a little pointless. And you’re not alone: more and more young people aren’t subscribing to what passes as “traditional” marriage.^{[6]
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Research source} You might find the whole deal outdated–signing a contract to be together with one person indefinitely might not align with your ideals, and you could be better off looking for alternative arrangements in your romantic relationships.

7

You don’t need marriage to feel fulfilled.

You get your happiness from something other than marriage. It doesn’t need to be romantic relationship, or even any sort of relationship with another person. You might find your career fulfilling enough, or your hobbies or how you spend your time otherwise.^{[7]
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Research source} If you’re already happy with your life as it is, why look for something you don’t need or even want?

8

You’ve already lived with your partner for years.

Couples that cohabitate are less interested in getting married. There are a number of reasons this might be: one partner might not want to get married, and living with them influences the other partner’s own opinion in the same direction. Or, it could be that you and your partner are just comfortable living together without getting married, and so don’t feel the need to shake things up with a legally-binding contract.^{[8]
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Research source} Whatever the reason, your relationship is working already, so why mess with it?

9

You resist other people’s expectations.

People that don’t care what others think also might not care to get married. Today, marriage is often viewed as the expected end-game of a relationship. But if you tend to defy expectations, it’s only natural for you to defy the expectation of marriage, too.^{[9]
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10

You have life plans that don’t involve marriage.

You don’t think marriage is what you want out of life, and that’s okay. Many people who aim for marriage want a long-term relationship, and even to have kids. If your interests and passions lie somewhere else, why distract yourself with marriage? There are plenty of other worthy goals to have, and many of them don’t involve a ring around your finger.^{[10]
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11

You don’t want to jeopardize your own identity.

Marriage requires too much sacrifice on your own part. After all, many people who choose to get married also change their last name, and they have a whole other person to consider when making big life decisions. But you know who you are and you want to be true to yourself without compromising that.^{[11]
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12

You’re committed to your other relationships.

You think your platonic relationships are just as important and meaningful. Marriage is just one of many ways to interact with and be close to people, and it’s not necessarily the best way. You might be someone who feels satisfied and fulfilled with your relationships with friends, family, and peers, and marriage doesn’t even need to factor into your social web.^{[12]
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13

You don’t want to have kids.

Marriage is a common step to becoming a parent, but you don’t want to be a parent. In addition, many men want to wait to have kids, and many women don’t.^{[13]
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Research source} The subject of children can be a divisive one, and maybe one you’d rather not touch at all. Not wanting kids is a dealbreaker for a lot of potential partners, but it doesn’t have to mean you throw in the towel and get hitched. You can also be in a relationship without getting married or having kids–the best of both worlds!^{[14]
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14

You think marriage is too complicated.

You don’t want to bother with marriage’s financial and relationship obligations. When you make vows, there’s plenty to consider: what to do with your money, if you’ll have children, if you’ll be monogamous. You don’t have to worry about those questions when you’re single, and not worrying about is as good an answer as any.^{[15]
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Research source} There’s nothing wrong with wanting to keep your simplicity and freedom.

15

You’ve never really thought about it.

Marriage isn’t on your mind, and might never be. There are plenty of other things to worry about, and you don’t need marriage to add another one. Or maybe marriage just doesn’t fit with your own personality and interests, the way plenty of people have never considered taking up horseback riding. Whatever the reason, if marriage doesn’t seem to concern you, there’s probably no reason it should start concerning you now.^{[16]
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16

You don’t want to live with someone else.

You prefer to live alone and make your own rules. Most couples who take the vows move in together as part of the expectations that come with marriage, but you’re more comfortable going it alone. Not all couples cohabitate, and plenty of couples are perfectly happy commuting to each others’ homes rather than sharing a bathroom forever.^{[17]
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17

You don’t have a stable job.

Not having a reliable source of income can make it harder to get married. And it does make sense–much of marriage is about stability, and many potential partners are looking for a partner with decent income.^{[18]
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Research source} But that doesn’t mean you should sacrifice the job or the lifestyle you enjoy just to make another person happy.

18

The person you’re dating doesn’t want to get married.

Marriage isn’t an option for you because your partner doesn’t want to get married. Maybe one of these reasons applies to your partner, and not necessarily to you. You can’t force your partner to get married, and so marriage might just not be a possible route for your relationship.^{[19]
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Research source} You can still remain in a loving and committed partnership without getting up on an altar.

19

You’re not religious.

Many people who aren’t interested in marriage also aren’t religious. After all, many religions value marriage as a necessary step in a romantic relationship, and religious people are more likely to be in a relationship than those who aren’t.^{[20]
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Research source} But if you’re not religious, marriage might not mean as much to you, and you might not be in such a hurry to get hitched.^{[21]
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20

You come from a nontraditional family.

People who come from nontraditional families are more likely to forego marriage. If you come from a home that existed outside the model of the nuclear family, it could be that marriage just isn’t your cup of tea.^{[22]
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Research source} And if that unconventional home life worked for you as a kid, why shouldn’t it work as an adult?

21

You’re asexual.

Your sexual needs aren’t compatible with many people’s understanding of marriage. Many married people expect sex to be a regular component of their relationship, but your sexuality doesn’t factor sex into the picture at all. It can be tough (but not impossible!) to find an understanding partner.^{[23]
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Research source} In the meantime, consider the upsides of being single!

22

You just don’t want to get married.

Marriage doesn’t offer what you want from life. Sure, there are plenty of logical, rational, financial, and social reasons you might never get married, or even want to get married, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated either. It could just be that even the word “marriage” puts a bad taste in your mouth, and that’s okay, too.^{[24]
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Expert Q&A

Question

What to say when someone asks why you're not married?

Kemar & DeAnne Johnson
Relationship Experts
Kemar & DeAnne Johnson are Relationship Experts and Hosts of the “It’s Relational Podcast”. They specialize in effective communication and thorough comprehension as well as maintaining a healthy intimate relationship. They are high school sweethearts who have been married for over eight years and together for over 13 years. They have co-authored an Ebook called “The Top 25 Tips to Have a Beautiful Long Lasting Relationship.” They are also proud Jamaicans who value their roots, upbringing, and culture very much! They both attended Herbert H. Lehman High School and CUNY New York City College of Technology.

Kemar & DeAnne Johnson

Relationship Experts

Expert Answer

Well, this is always going to be a nagging question for everybody. It usually takes a little bit of a tough answer to give people when asked that. If you answer something like, "Oh, down the line we're going to do it” or other unsure answer, you'll open up a Pandora's box for people to question your relationship. So try to tell them to be patient and say that you'll marry when you both feel ready to take that step.