How to Survive Allegations of Child Abuse

Co-authored by Clinton M. Sandvick, JD, PhD

Last Updated: January 8, 2023 References

Child abuse are two of the most hated words in the language. It brings up hideous images and can move the most placid person to threaten violence. However, two out of three child abuse allegations are closed by the state with little or no action. If you have been falsely accused of child abuse, you can work your way through the investigation, the court system, and come out the other side as a survivor.

Things You Should Know

The investigation depends on whether a claim is substantiated or not; you are not automatically guilty if a claim is substantiated, but you are exonerated if a claim is unfounded.
Talk to a lawyer—even if you’re innocent—to determine the best course of action.
The stress of an allegation can be a lot to deal with, so don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist for counseling and support.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Handling the Initial Allegations

1
Keep a case diary. Whether you keep a journal on your computer or jot down notes on a yellow pad, you should always keep a running diary of any lawsuit or legal procedure you are involved in. The sooner you start keeping records, the better. When it comes time to speak with social services or a lawyer, your notes can refresh your memory and help support your side of the story.^{[1]
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2
Evaluate where the allegations came from. Many people who face false allegations of child abuse can look back and see warning signs. There are some common situations that may spawn false charges. Understanding where the allegation came from can help you avoid the situation and minimize the accusations made against you.
- Family law cases. In a divorce, one parent may be tempted to wield child abuse accusations as a weapon in the case. The motives range from pure selfishness to being overly sensitive and paranoid.
- Foster care and adoption situations can lead to unfounded allegations of abuse. Children that suffer from mental illness and behavioral problems, often resulting from abuse at the hands of natural parents, may claim abuse as an attempt to manipulate the system, get revenge, or seek attention.
- Teachers are finding out that they are convenient targets of false allegations. The situation has become dire enough that unions and professional organizations are counseling teachers to avoid being alone with a student under any circumstances.^{[2]
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3
Work with social services. Getting a call or visit from the state's child protective services is stressful under the best of circumstances. However, how you react can determine whether the social worker can become an ally or an enemy.
- The investigation may be well underway before you are contacted. Social services may have interviewed the accuser, the child, and others who might have information about the situation.
- When you are notified that social services wants to interview you, you are entitled to speak to an attorney or refuse to participate. However, there is no "right to remain silent" at this stage and the investigator can interpret your reluctance as they see fit. Remember that the investigator is required by law to act in the best interests of the child.^{[3]
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4
Participate in an interview with an investigator. It is best to take a cautious, but cooperative, stance. Allow access to your home and answer questions honestly. Do not insult or cuss out the child or potential accuser.
- You can refuse to let the investigator into your house, but the agency is free to interpret that against you. However, your consent as a parent is not required to interview your child. Investigators can talk to your child at school.
- Think before you speak. Unless your attorney tells you otherwise, you should politely, calmly, firmly, and consistently deny the accusations. Your goal is to convince the investigator that you are the rational person in this situation.
- Trying to explain a situation will rarely work in your favor. You do not have enough knowledge about the law and the state regulations to protect your rights. If there are facts that could be misunderstood and make you look guilty, consider asking that the interview be rescheduled so you can have an attorney present.
- Bring your journal up to date after every contact with social services.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Navigating the Legal System

1
Understand the meaning of a substantiated claim of abuse. The entire investigation comes down to whether or not the investigator "substantiates" the abuse claim. While the standards vary by state, in general, substantiation means there is "probable cause" that the child was mistreated. It means that the state should intervene on behalf of the child to lessen the chance of further harm.^{[4]
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- This does not mean you have been found guilty of child abuse. It means that there is sufficient reason to continue the investigation.
- A survey conducted in 2000, looking at over 5,000 reports of child abuse, found that about 29 percent were substantiated. This shows that the vast majority of allegations do not pan out and are closed.
2
Deal with law enforcement. Depending on the nature of the allegations and whether the case is substantiated by social services, you may find yourself being interviewed by the police. This is a time to know your rights.
- The first question to ask is if you are under arrest. If the answer is "yes" you must immediately invoke your right to a lawyer. If the answer is "no" then you should strongly consider declining to speak with the police until you can talk with a lawyer.
- Approximately half to two-thirds of police interviews yield a full or partial confession.
- Police are professional interrogators. No matter what is said about the interview being "to clear things up," and to "hear your side," you must never forget that they are seeking incriminating information.^{[5]
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- Even if you are completely innocent, if you have been accused of child abuse, do not speak to the police without first speaking with an attorney.
3
Make your way through the courts. Child abuse cases can lead to two different types of court cases. The first is criminal, ranging from misdemeanors to serious felonies. The second is the "abuse/neglect" court where social services cases are heard with the goal of reunifying the child with the family.^{[6]
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Child Welfare Information Gateway
Online portal managed by the U.S. Children's Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention
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- You are likely to end up in an abuse/neglect proceeding if the alleged victim is your own child. There is no chance of being put in jail in this type of court. However, in very serious cases, your parental rights could be severed.
4
Work with your lawyer and follow court orders. In both types of court cases, you are entitled to have a lawyer appointed to represent you. It is very important that you listen to your attorney. If you have questions about the evidence in the case, including any interviews with the child, discuss it with your attorney.^{[7]
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- Follow court orders to the letter. While the court is deciding your case, you may be ordered to have no contact with the child. Do not ignore the judge and sneak around to see the child or confront the accuser. Use your common sense. Defying the court makes you look guilty and you could be found in contempt of court.
- Cooperate with social services. You may be ordered to different types of assessments such as anger management or drug and alcohol counseling. Cooperate with these programs. A glowing report can be a huge step in resolving the criminal or neglect case in your favor.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Healing the Wounds

1
Follow through with social services. Even a case that is completely resolved in your favor may include aftercare services.^{[8]
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2
Seek out counseling and support. Remember, two out of three child abuse cases end up unsubstantiated. Even if your case went to court and was resolved in your favor, you have suffered a huge amount of stress in your life. Whether you seek out a self-help group or enter into therapy, having a non-judgmental outlet can help you cope with the trauma.^{[9]
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- Your counselor can help you with methods to explain the situation to your friends and family.
3
Repair your professional associations. Depending on the circumstances of the child abuse allegations, you may have suffered professional humiliation or even job loss as a result.
- Speak with your attorney about getting a copy of the best document showing that the case was either closed or resolved in your favor. Use that evidence to help your clear your name with your job, professional associations, and co-workers. Don't let the situation lapse into awkward silence where suspicions may linger about your potential guilt.
- If a professional license has been suspended or revoked, contact the licensing agency about how to appeal the decision. Typically, this will be done in writing and you can include documents showing that the case against you was unsubstantiated or closed. If allowed, ask for a hearing or meeting to explain it in person.
- Consult with an attorney to see if you have any legal recourse against your former employer.
4
Concentrate on the relationship with your child. If the accusations revolved around your child and your family, it can be easy to let hostility and resentment linger and taint your relationships. As you work through your counseling, remember that your child should come first. They may need therapy or counseling as well, and you, as the adult, can help make that happen.^{[11]
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Child Welfare Information Gateway
Online portal managed by the U.S. Children's Bureau providing resources related to childcare and abuse prevention
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Warnings

It is possible to sue CPS for monetary damages if you believe they violated your civil rights. However, making false claims against CPS can also reflect poorly on you in the eyes of the court.

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Do not even consider making a revenge accusation against the other parent. Not only could this be a potential criminal charge, but a family court judge could limit visitation or strip you of custody.

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