How to Pretend You're Fine Without Him

Last Updated: February 13, 2023 References Approved

If you're reading this page, you've probably recently been hurt by some guy and gone through a horrible breakup. Here are some strategies to help you move on and prove to him that not only you are better off without him, but also that you're happier than you ever were.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Avoiding Him

1
Don't contact him, and don't answer if he contacts you. If you are constantly texting or chatting, you will inevitably get sucked back into a cycle of drama. Don't do it! Just cut contact as much as you can, at least for a while. That way he won't think you are still pining over him, and you will have the space you need to move on.^{[1]
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2
Cut him off social media ties. It can be tempting to stay friends so you can show him how great you are doing without him, but this is a trap! You are more likely to find yourself stalking his profile and obsessing over his updates. The best thing to do is unfriend and block him and any of his friends you know—at least for a while. When you have thoroughly moved on, you can think about adding him again or sending a message to catch up.^{[2]
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- Muting or blocking him on social media also means you won't have to worry about proving anything to him or showing him your life. Instead, just enjoy your life for yourself!^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Suzanna Mathews
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.}
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3
Get rid of items that remind you of him. If he left any possessions in your home, mail them back to him. If you have a lot of mementos of your time together, put them out of sight. You don't have to throw anything away, but maybe put those items in a box. Clear your space and make a new start.^{[4]
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4
Don't ignore him if you bump into him. Be friendly, but keep it brief, as though he's someone you don't know that well. Say "hi", but keep it at that. Blowing him off too pointedly will only let him know he's upset you. If he believes you still think about him, he may make moving on harder. If you are in a situation where you absolutely must spend time with him, keep your answers brief and curt throughout and end the conversation quickly. Make sure you walk away first.
5
Make him work for your attention if he wants it. Don't cave and respond to anything but a truly respectful attitude. If he wants you to give him the time of day, he needs to be polite, kind and deferential to your feelings. Don't make a big deal about this, though—just play it cool and try not to hurt anyone, even if he does deserve it.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Get Your Head Right

1
Know that he really doesn't deserve you. If he made you feel bad about yourself in any way, then you are way better off without him in your life. Don't blame yourself for what happened. Remember that you deserve people who will value you and treat you with respect. Rejection hurts, but you will be much happier if you stick to people who actually want to be with you.^{[5]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
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2
Talk to your friends. They have probably been in the same boat, likely too many times to count. It might be a cliché, but rent a few chick flicks, buy a gallon of ice cream or a bottle of wine, and hole up with your girlfriends in front of the TV for the night. Laugh at yourselves, yell at the screen that real guys never act like that, talk about what you want from the next guy that comes into your life—just enjoy yourself. Good friends will remind you what a fun, gorgeous person you are, you won't feel as alone.^{[6]
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3
Try not to get jealous. If there's a new girl on the scene, remember it's not her fault that he chose her. This doesn't make her any better than you. Don't react if she or he rubs their new relationship in your face. Be classy in this and everyone (including your ex) will respect you for it.
4
Don't rush into a new relationship. Enjoy the single life for a while. Rebounds can be nice, but in the end they just remind you of what you lost. Instead have fun with all the hobbies and friends you love that got neglected while you were focused on your love life.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Treat Yourself

1
Interact with more people. Don't sit around and mope—get out there and have fun.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Expert Interview. 18 August 2021.} When you are all about another person, you can get locked into a little world with that guy, and your social life can suffer. This is a perfect time to explore the social opportunities you may have let languish. Meet new people, go to parties, organize activities with your friends, join clubs or volunteer organizations. These things will all remind you that you don't need this guy to have a good time, and will put you on the path to meeting someone better in no time.^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source
HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
2
Dress cute wherever you go. Treat yourself to some new clothes or a makeover. Put on a smile and go out in your best outfit. Your confidence may have taken a knock, particularly if your guy has passed you over for a so-called better offer. Looking fabulous will help you feel better about yourself and remind you what a great catch you are. Your fresh look will attract new suitors and may even make your old flame sit up and take notice of what he's missing now.
3
Take a trip. There's nothing like travel to clear your head and remind you what a big, beautiful world you live in—whether or not any given guy likes you. Go have an adventure someplace exotic, road-trip to visit old friends, or just sun yourself at a resort for a few days. Take lots of photos, so if he does stalk your social media profiles he'll see what a great time you are having.

Expert Q&A

Question

How do you make him feel sorry for hurting you?

Suzanna Mathews
Dating & Relationship Coach
Suzanna Mathews is a Dating and Relationship Coach and the Founder of The Date Maven. With over a decade of experience, she specializes in creating mindset tools, social strategies, and digital strategies that help her clients elevate dating and deepen connections. Suzanna holds a BA in Communications from Bethel College, North Newton, and an MA in Theater and Dramatic Arts from Wichita State University.

Suzanna Mathews

Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

My advice is to check your motivation. Why would you want to do that? If you want to live a rich, fun, and robust life because it makes you happy to do so, then do it. Don't to it because you think it's going to elicit a certain response from somebody else.