How to Pick Up Girls in High School

Last Updated: June 20, 2022 References

This is a guide on how to pick up girls in a high school environment. Whether you're still in school or simply wish you were in school, picking up girls all around the world is basically the same: be confident, exude charm, and make great conversation.

The way you talk to your favorite girl should be the same way you talk to your mother, aunt, sister, or female cousin, and not the way you talk to your guy-fella(s).

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

The Pick-Up

1
Approach her and lead into something appropriate. This is the hardest part. Try to get over your nerves; don't show them your stammers or sweating. Feel confident in order to look confident.^{[1]
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- Smile and make eye contact.^{[2]
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- Be friendly.^{[3]
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- Talk about something appropriate when you initiate. In the back of her mind, the girl probably knows that you're talking to her because she looks pretty, but you have to at least pretend to have a reason to talk to her.
- As long as it makes sense that you'd talk to her about it out of the blue, go for it:
  - Don't start with a cheesy pick up line like "If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer." Let's face it: these rarely work. Increase your chances by starting casual.^{[4]
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  - You might say something like "I heard you were in [so and so's] class. My class sucks, so I'm thinking about transferring in there if I can. How is it?"
  - Or you could try: "Hey, I saw you cheer last Friday at the football game. When is the next home game going to be?"
2
Pick a conversation starter. Now that you've put yourself in a social situation, you'll probably need to have a conversation starter. Getting up and talking to her is great, but if you have nothing to say after your lead-in, it could get awkward fast.^{[5]
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- Try an indirect conversation starter.^{[6]
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  Research source} An indirect conversation starter is where you just start talking to her without pointing out how beautiful she is. Remember to be confident.
  - "I'm looking for a woman’s perspective on this. I was just talking to a friend whose girlfriend broke up with him. The problem is that she keeps calling him. Why does she do it?”
  - Or: "Maybe you can help me out. I'm new here and I don't really know what people do for fun. What do you and your friends do for the weekend?"
- If you're a little more confident, you can try a more direct approach. Remember that this approach has a bigger chance of backfiring, but it could also really impress the girl.
  - "I don't usually say this, but you're absolutely the most stunning girl that I've seen in the past...3 minutes. Hi, my name is [your name]."
  - "Sorry to bother you, but you look too good to be alone right now. Do you mind if I walk with you for a little bit?"
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Work in compliments as conversation starters. Everyone enjoys being flattered. If it's in good taste, and you do it just enough, you could make a big impression right away.^{[7]
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- "Hi, those are wonderful earrings. Did you make them?"
- "Hi, that's a beautiful dress, did you make it yourself?"
- "Hi there, I couldn't help but noticing how your dress matches your eyes. It's a great color."
- Whatever you do, don't talk about feminine body parts, as a rule. Almost all girls are turned-off when you talk about their breasts or butt. So don't shoot yourself in the foot; stick to complimenting her hair, eyes, lips, or clothes.
4
Don't come on too strong. Getting into a conversation is a great start. But don't ask too much of her on the first pass. Keep it light, and keep it quick. Be out of her face in five minutes or less.
- If the conversation has hit a natural cliff, don't be afraid to simply say: "It was nice meeting you. I'll see you around some time?"
- If the conversation goes really well — she's laughing and flirting with her eyes — ask for her phone number. Just a simple, "Hey, can I get your phone number? Maybe we can meet outside of class?"
5
Keep talking to her around school. One conversation won't always make or break you, luckily. If you didn't make the best impression on her the first time, keep coming back and engage her in conversation. Her guard might come down. Do not talk about cars, etc., until she talks about it, as this may get annoying.
- Ask her questions to keep her talking: "How do you like school?" "Have any plans for college yet?" "What clubs have you heard good things about?"
- Tell her funny stories or jokes. Girls love guys with a playful sense of humor.^{[8]
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  Research source} Keep things light, maybe even a bit sarcastic. If she makes fun of you, don't take it personally and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.
- Be there for her. When she's off at a swim competition or she's competing in a debate, show her that you care by being there. If she's made it clear she doesn't like it, don't do this. But if she's on the fence, this might tip the scales.
6
Don't put her on a pedestal. One of the biggest mistakes guys make when talking to girls is to put all the attention on her and not on themselves. Instead, girls want to know how great of a guy you are. Don't brag about yourself, but understand it's okay to tell her about the cool things you do in your life (e.g. Guitar, Snowboarding, Sports, Photography, Jobs, etc.). There needs to be an even balance between both people here.^{[9]
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- Just because you validate a girl doesn't mean she'll validate you back. Just like how you only validate girls who are attractive, they'll only validate guys who are attractive. So show her how you are attractive with your interests, beliefs, values, and hobbies.
7
Close the deal. A big mistake guys make is they never ask the girl out to a date or never get her number. They don't escalate. You must keep on escalating the relationships you have with girls.
- Escalate physically starting with secret handshakes to tickle fights to hugs and kisses.
- Escalate conversationally by getting her number and talking to her over the phone; if you're too shy to do that then ask for her Facebook.
- Lots of guys never ask for a girl's phone number. The girl takes this as a sign that the guy doesn't like them. Don't fall into this scenario.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Self-Improvement

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Have some style. Having a great sense of fashion and taking care of your hygiene are two of the most important factors in determining how attractive you are to the girls in your school. If you are currently wearing striped sweaters, awkward looking jeans, and tennis shoes, it's time for a change. Fix up your hair, buy some shirts that fit you, and start wearing more dapper shoes.^{[10]
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- Stay clean.^{[11]
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  Research source} Girls are suckers for clean guys. Shower regularly, floss and brush your teeth twice daily. You need to smell nice to make an impression.
- Purchase or find some low-rise, slim fit pants or jeans. If you're on the heavier side, baggier pants are probably better (but don't get lost in a sea of cloth). Skinny jeans that hug every inch of your legs are probably not the best fit, unless you're sure you can pull it off.
- Purchase or find some trim collared shirts. You don't need dragons or tribal patterns on your shirts to impress girls. A simple plaid, one-tone, or striped pattern will do.
- Purchase or find some soft, simple sweaters or jackets. Give girls an excuse to get close to you. V-necks are in style currently. Crew necks and hoodies also work. Go with what you think will look good on you.
- Get a nice haircut. Yes, you might have to shell out more than $20 for a haircut. But it will be worth it. Look through magazines like GQ or Vanity Fair and bring a picture along of someone who has the cut you'd like.^{[12]
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Be friendly.^{[13]
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Research source} Girls are naturally attracted to guys who have a lot of "social proof." To gain social proof, you must be "popular," which simply means you just need to make a lot of friends. So be more talkative and get to know the people in your school, your class, etc. Always smile and laugh. Try to have a good time with everyone. If you're not looking like you're enjoying yourself, you are a turn-off.
- Get involved in what you like. High school can be tough for a lot of us because we're still figuring out what we like and what we don't. If you do have hobbies, interests, or curiosities, find other people who share that share passion. Chances are you'll get along with them.
- Do favors for other people. Don't let other people walk all over you and exploit you, but help out people who seem trustworthy and appreciative. Your social stock will climb.
- Do things outside of school. The guy who's connected to a social scene outside of school attracts a lot of people (guys and girls) because the school scene often lacks that edge and vibrancy.
3
Stand up for your beliefs. Girls love guys who have goals in their lives and stand up for themselves. If a girl decides to be mean to you, don't accept it. Tell her it was not a nice thing to do, and be done with her. Don't be a total jerk about it though, but rather say it in a sense of talking to your little brother or sister. It's harmless, but you want to make sure they do the right thing.
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Don't be afraid of rejection. Of course, rejection is hard: No one wants to feel like they're inadequate in any way, and being rejected makes us feel that way. But being rejected is part of life.^{[14]
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- Don't pin all your hopes on a single girl. Pin your hopes on her after you've started a relationship, if you get that far. But it's probably a bit unhealthy to do so before then.
- If you're not being rejected some of the time, you're not trying. Normal guys — guys not named Brad Pitt or George Clooney — get rejected all the time. If you're not being rejected, you're not putting yourself out there.
- Keep on trying. Pull yourself up when a girl throws you down. If you sit around and mope about your problems, letting your self-esteem take a serious hit, you actually become less attractive to other girls. Try to stay happy and thick-skinned.

Warnings

Be careful not to insult the girl when you're teasing her. Girls in high school are insecure, so you have to be careful sometimes. Remember that girls might laugh about themselves and joke but then turn around and say you were mean.

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If she has blocked you on social media, it may mean that she doesn't like you.

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