How to Make Your Ex‐Girlfriend Jealous

Co-authored by John Keegan and Amber Crain

Last Updated: December 2, 2022 References

If you’ve been dumped or rejected by your ex-girlfriend, it can really hurt. Making her a little jealous might make her second guess breaking up with you! Limiting how much you communicate with her and making small, positive changes in your life can make your ex feel jealous and intrigued about what you're up to without her. It's important to eventually let go of your anger, though—holding on to old resentments can prevent you from truly moving forward.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Using Communication Strategies

1
Stop initiating any form of communication. If you don’t reach out to your ex-girlfriend, you’re sending the message that you don’t need her. Plus, it will make her wonder what you’re up to and why you’ve gone silent. She may suspect that you’re seeing someone new or keeping busy with fun activities that don’t involve her.^{[1]
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- If you see her at school or out socially, try to avoid interacting with her.
2
Play it cool and act a little aloof if talking to her is unavoidable. If you can’t avoid her, make sure she initiates the conversation, not you. Smile, say hello, and try to move on. If she keeps chatting, act aloof and a bit distracted, like you have somewhere you need to be. Don’t be openly hostile, though! Indifference stings a little more and being a full-on jerk isn't a good look.^{[2]
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- Putting out that indifference vibe might make her wonder why you've lost interest and make her feel a bit jealous.
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3
Delay replying to texts for at least a few hours so she thinks you’re busy. If she reaches out to you, you can always just ignore her and never reply. But if you really want to make her jealous, a delayed reply can be more effective! Try to put off returning her call or text for several hours or even several days. She’ll start to wonder what you’re up to.
- A super-short reply indicating that you're too busy to talk right now can also be a good strategy.^{[3]
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4
Unfriend and unfollow her on all social media but don’t block her. This is another way to show her you don’t need her and it can drive some exes up the wall! Sever all of your connections on social media—unfriend her, unfollow her, and untag yourself in her pictures. You can also untag her in your pictures or even remove her pictures altogether.^{[4]
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- Don’t block her or make your profiles private, though—you want her to see that you’ve basically scrubbed her existence from your life.
- If this feels too drastic or cruel, at least stop commenting and liking her posts and pictures. For example, if she announces something big on social media, don't react to her post. If she asks, pretend that you don't know anything about it.^{[5]
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5
Stay in touch with any friends that you share with your ex-girlfriend. This indirectly keeps your ex in the loop with what’s going on with you, even if you’re not staying in touch with her. Your friends may even mention to your ex that they’ve seen you, and that you’re doing well without her.^{[6]
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- For example, inform your friends that you recently got a job promotion, lost weight, or have plans to run the next 5K marathon. The news may circulate back to your ex and make her feel jealous about your accomplishments.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Showing Her that You've Moved On

1
Stay active on social media and keep your posts positive. Your ex will probably browse your social media profiles out of curiosity to see how you’re getting on without her and if you’re seeing someone new. Project positivity in your text posts so she doesn't think you're moping around because of her. Upload plenty of pictures of yourself having fun and socializing. You could even be a little mysterious by omitting details so she wonders what it all means.^{[7]
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- For example, share photos of yourself having fun with friends on a Friday night without explaining where you are or what you’re celebrating.
- Share photos of you hanging out with other girls, especially pretty ones! This might feel like a cheap shot, but it usually works.^{[8]
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2
Make improvements to your lifestyle and devote more time to hobbies. Improving yourself is a healthy way to rattle your ex a little bit. Plus, bettering yourself boosts your self-esteem, which can feel really good after a tough breakup. Exercise more often, throw yourself into your favorite hobbies, and make any other positive changes in your life that feel right.^{[9]
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- Don't think of this as a competition with your ex to see who can live a better life post-breakup. This is about you performing at your personal best.^{[10]
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- Seeing your fulfilling new life may leave your ex wondering if you're better off without her and shows her that you’ve moved on.
- Exploring hobbies and interests exposes you to new friends—you might meet another girl who makes you forget all about your ex.
3
Be cheerful in public to make her think the breakup doesn't bother you. If you don't outwardly show that you're bummed about the breakup, your ex will naturally start to wonder why you're over her so quickly. Questioning why she's so easy to get over will probably bruise her ego a bit, and this can quickly escalate to jealousy. She might suddenly feel insignificant and insecure.^{[11]
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- For example, make sure she sees you chatting and laughing with your friends, being active, and trying new things. Don't let on that you're sad about the breakup, even if you are.
4
Stand firm and avoid giving in to her jealous reactions. If your ex feels that you're ignoring her or sees you out enjoying your new life without her, she will probably lash out in anger and jealousy. She may ask to see you again or tell you she's having second thoughts about the breakup. Be ready for this! Her actions may be motivated by jealousy and aren't representative of her true feelings.^{[12]
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- Her jealous reaction may have more to do with her fear of being forgotten or replaced.^{[13]
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- Hanging out with her again may result in you getting hurt. Be cautious.^{[14]
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5
Start dating again when you feel ready. Though you may still have feelings for your ex and want to win her back, re-entering the dating scene is a natural way to make your ex jealous because it makes it look as if you’re over the breakup and moving on. Plus, you may end up meeting and dating someone you enjoy spending time with more than your ex—that wouldn't be the worst thing ever!^{[15]
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6
Try to let go of your anger and resentment eventually. You probably want to make your ex jealous because she hurt you—it's a totally normal reaction. Holding on to those feelings of anger and bitterness for a long time is unhealthy, though, and will eventually make it harder for you to enjoy your life. For your own sake, forgive your ex when you feel ready.^{[16]
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- You don’t necessarily have to tell your ex that you forgive her, but forgive her in your heart and mind so you can move on to better things.
- If you’re having a hard time forgiving her or moving on, don't be embarrassed—letting go is hard to do. Talking to a counselor, support group, or family member about your feelings can help you sort them out.^{[17]
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Community Q&A
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Question

I want to get violent with her, is this the way to go? She needs to suffer for what she did to me.

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This absolutely is not the way to go! It's normal to be angry if you've been hurt badly, but never resort to violence. You're better than that! If you're having trouble letting go of your anger, you might try talking to a counselor or therapist. They can help you sort out your feelings and move on to better things in life.
Question

How can I make her jealous and miss me if we go to the same church?

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When you see her at church, be nice but keep your distance and try not to get embroiled in an emotional conversation. Say hello, smile, and move on. If you're a bit aloof, she'll start wondering why. You don't want to be outright cruel to her, though -- especially at church! Focus on making your life better and hopefully she'll see how awesome you are and come back around. If she doesn't, there are other fish in the sea!

Warnings

Avoid spending a lot of time and energy trying to make your ex-girlfriend jealous—this isn’t healthy for you. Focus on making your own life better and more positive.^{[18]
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