How to Get a Shy Guy to Chase You: 10 Ways to Get Him Interested

Co-authored by Eddy Baller and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: June 28, 2021 References Approved

Getting a shy guy to chase you is a unique challenge. It may be harder to get to know him, and it could take him some extra time to feel comfortable around you. An outgoing guy may take a little less work to get to know, but that doesn't mean anything if you've really got your heart set on someone who's shy! Thankfully, there are several things you can do to get this guy to chase you, no matter how shy.

1

Make eye contact with him.

This will get him to notice you without being too forward. If you see him in class one day, don't be afraid to look at him! Make eye contact and smile. This is a subtle way to show your interest while also leaving the ball in his court to chase you (A.K.A. to come over and talk to you!). It can also help him feel more comfortable around you, which is a great help if he's shy.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- Let's say you keep noticing the same cute guy at a coffee shop working in the corner. Next time you see him, give him a friendly look and make sure you meet his gaze!
- It may take a few occasions of direct, friendly eye contact to progress into more. Be patient and remember that he's a little shy!

2

Mirror his body language.

It may sound odd, but mimicking someone can make them like you. Oftentimes, people feel comfortable around people that are similar to them in some way. When you talk to this guy, try subtly adopting his mannerisms. Let's say he talks expressively with his hands when he gets excited about something. Try doing the same thing next time you talk! These subtle cues can make a guy want to get to know you more without being too obvious. Don't overdo this, though! You don't want to look like you're copying his every move.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Try to find a balance by adopting some of his gestures but also keeping some of your own. He might think your unique quirks are cute!
- Sometimes, it might even help to take a step back if he seems a little uncomfortable—someone who's shy might appreciate having a little more space.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Eddy Baller
  Dating Coach
  Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}

3

Say his name when you talk to him.

This is a subtle way to show that you like him. Referring to this guy by name will make him feel special. It's a good way to show him that out of everyone in the room, you want to talk to him. When you say hi, include his name in your greeting!^{[4]
X
Research source}
- When you see him in the hall, say something like, "Hey Marcus, how's your day going?"

4

Add an element of mystery to your interactions.

If you want a guy to chase you, you have to leave him wanting more. Try to keep some information to yourself until he asks. Maybe you've got a full-on obsession with your favorite band. Hold off on revealing that you own every album and that you've seen them 10 times. Instead, say something like, "I'm a huge music fan" and let him ask about your favorite band himself. This is a good way to avoid coming on too strong.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- In conversation, reveal information bit by bit. If you dream of moving to New York City, say something like, "I've always wanted to live in a big city." That gives him the opportunity to ask, "What city would you want to live in most?"

5

Spend time where he likes to hang out.

Being in this guy's proximity can make him take notice of you. It can also make him more comfortable around you, as you'll start to become a familiar face. If you know he likes eating lunch in the courtyard, maybe go with a few friends and eat there, too! If you see there's an open table right next to him at a cafe you both frequent, go ahead and sit close by. As he starts to see you around, he'll hopefully become more intrigued to get to know you.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Don't overdo it when it comes to this method. Avoid memorizing his class schedule or turning up at all of his basketball games. Following him around or turning up wherever he is might make him feel uncomfortable!

6

Compliment him.

A little validation helps him know that you're interested. It can also help him see you in a romantic light, as it's a subtle yet meaningful way to flirt! Next time you see the guy you like, tell him you like his shirt. If he's always reading interesting books, let him know you think he has good taste! Keep your compliment simple so that he has the opportunity to keep chasing you. Flooding someone with compliments might make him uncomfortable, especially if he's shy.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Let's say he always chooses really cool songs to play when you hang out together in a group. Go up to him and say, "I always like the songs you choose. This album is great!"

7

Flirt a little.

Keep things subtle and brief if you want him to do the chasing. When you run into him on campus, tell him he looks really good that day. If you see him again the next day, just give him a brief smile and keep walking. Most likely, he'll be wondering why you didn't come up and talk to him! That will motivate him to go flirt with you instead.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- There are a lot of different ways to flirt. Bring up inside jokes or shared memories the two of you have, ask playful questions, or even react to his Instagram story with a fun emoji!^{[9]
  X
  Research source}

8

Get a little closer to him.

Touch his shoulder gently when you're talking. Since he's shy (and hey, you may be, too!), you don't want to break his personal boundaries or make him uncomfortable. Experiment with friendly touch, like giving him a hug when you say goodbye at a party or even brushing your legs against his when you sit close to each other. This subtle but meaningful physical interaction can show that you're attracted to him and really make him want to chase you.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- Next time you see him and say hi, give him a hug. If that seems too forward, put your hand briefly on his shoulder. If he likes you, these flirty ways to show your attention will keep you on his mind constantly!
- You can even try a more subtle approach. Walk close to him in the halls so that maybe you'll accidentally touch shoulders or bump into each other a little bit.^{[11]
  X
  Research source}

9

Keep living your life!

Don't drop everything waiting for this guy to chase you. Guys, even shy guys, are attracted to someone who keeps up with their hobbies and responsibilities. Make plans with your friends, go on interesting day trips, and keep practicing your hobbies like playing piano or skateboarding. If you want a guy to chase you, you can't be too available to him.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- Since he's shy, you may want to strike a balance. Maybe don't tell him you're going out on a bunch of casual dates with other guys. That might make a shy guy think you're not interested.
- Do tell him about that cool hiking trail you just explored!

10

Figure out if he's really shy.

Sometimes, it's possible that the guy may just not be interested. Notice how he interacts with other people. If he tends to keep to himself unless he's talking to his best friends, he probably really is shy. It's also possible he's only shy around you because he likes you. Check for clues, like blushing when he talks to you, looking at you and then looking away when you notice, or appearing nervous when you ask him questions. These are all signs that he likes you!^{[13]
X
Research source}
- If he doesn't respond to your attempts to get him to chase you no matter how hard you try, he may not be interested. Cool off your attempts for now. He may change his mind later on, or you may meet someone who's more compatible!

Community Q&A

Question

What if the shy guy is too shy to talk and it’s awkward when I talk to him? I’m always the one leading the conversation, does that still mean he likes me and what should I do?

Lizzie Perry

Community Answer

Be calm and chill around him and divert your attention to somewhere else - hobbies, schooling, etc. Give him a little space and if he still doesn't like you, then he has lost feelings. If he is starting to show interest, then he still likes you. Be careful, watch out for red flags.