How to Get a Man to Chase You

Co-authored by Maria Avgitidis and Amber Crain

Last Updated: October 25, 2022 References Approved

Everyone wants to feel desirable! If you're tired of doing all the chasing, or if you just want to feel the thrill of being pursued, there are lots of things you can do to make it happen. We'll walk you through some basic strategies and share some insights about the human mind that might just surprise you. Many of these tips have been researched by professionals and psychological studies have proven that they work. If you're ready to make him chase you, read on!

Things You Should Know

Catch his eye by flirting with him; say his name often, make eye contact, smile, and touch him occasionally to pique his interest.
A little coyness and some attention from other guys will go a long way to enticing a man and drawing him in.
Delay your responses when he texts you and turn him down occasionally to keep his interest without tipping your hand.
Don’t go overboard on the hard-to-get act or you may accidentally lose the guy.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Catching His Eye

1
Wow him with your confidence. Confidence is wildly attractive and people tend to be drawn to confident people. Let your man see that you love who you are and that you're proud of everything you have to offer to the world. For example, be assertive and approach him first.^{[1]
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Research source} You can also try:
- Making eye contact with him
- Dressing in clothes that make you feel good
- Using open and expressive body language^{[2]
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2
Flirt with him. You've got to get your flirt on if you want a man to chase you. Make eye contact, smile, tease him a bit, playfully touch him on the arm, or however else you like to work your mojo. Basically, be a fun person whenever you're together. Everyone loves to have fun!^{[3]
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- Don't come on too strong. Flirt a bit and pull back to see how he reciprocates.
- If you're shy or the idea of touching him makes you nervous, try "accidentally" touching him. Bump into him, knock elbows, reach for something at the same time he does—anything that creates skin-on-skin contact.^{[4]
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3
Mimic his movements and mannerisms. When you're around your guy, subtly mirror his postures, movements, mannerisms, and facial expressions. Studies show that this can make him want to interact with you more and increases feelings of attraction. Pretty easy, right?^{[5]
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- For example, if he gazes into your eyes, laughs a lot, and touches his hair when you compliment him, do the same! Just remember to be subtle about it so he doesn't realize you're doing it on purpose.
4
Say his name often when you're chatting him up. People tend to be more attentive and feel cared for when they hear their own name. If you want him to really notice you, say his name in conversation. Slip it in naturally before or after asking him a question, for instance.^{[6]
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- You might say, "John, where did you grow up?" or "Do you come here often, Anthony?"
5
Let him see you getting attention from other men occasionally. Don't talk too much about hanging out with other guys or he might think you're trying too hard to get his attention. Instead, let him see you talking to other guys and maybe even flirting with them a little bit. Why does this work? If he sees other men enjoying your company, he'll desire you for himself.^{[7]
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- Don't spend all your time flirting with other guys when he's around! Just try it once or twice and then see how he reacts.
6
Make sure he sees you having fun with your friends. Research shows that people appear more attractive and desirable when they're around their friends. If you're having fun and being the life of the party with your tribe, you're more likely to catch his eye! The more desirable you seem, the more he'll want you.^{[8]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Keeping His Interest

1
Spend more time around him so you're in his thoughts often. Seize any opportunity to hang out casually with your guy. Psychological studies show that when men develop familiarity with a person, they think about them more often and end up preferring that person over other potential mates. Basically, the more he sees you, the more he'll crave you.^{[9]
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Research source} Try things like:
- Attending events when you know he'll be there
- Inviting him or his friend group to do something fun
- Chatting him and his friends up when you see them around
- Snagging a seat by him in class or at other events
2
Do something exciting together to create an emotional bond. Psychologically speaking, putting your man into a heightened emotional state makes him form an unspoken bond with you. For example, if you experience something scary or exciting together, like a horror movie or rollercoaster ride, he'll associate you with closeness and excitement.^{[10]
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- You might get him tipsy when you're at a bar so he'll associate you with that fun, euphoric feeling. Or buy him spicy food to create a connection in his mind between you and his tingling tongue. It may sound strange, but psychology backs this up!
3
Turn him down and delay your text responses occasionally. You want him to see you around, but you don't want to be a constant presence. For example, don't show up at every single event that he goes to. Avoid answering his phone calls sometimes. Turn down a hangout session once or twice because you have other plans. Avoid responding right away to every text he sends you.^{[11]
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- Unless the text is urgent, let some time go by before you get back to him.
- How will you know when to act and when to hold back? There's no way to know for sure! Experiment and monitor his reactions.
4
Talk about your career, hobbies, and passions around him. Having a meaningful and fulfilling life makes you an interesting person to be around! Talk about things that you're passionate about and tell him about projects you're working on. Show him that you're a unique, intelligent, and interesting human being because that's exactly what you are.^{[12]
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- Be sure to ask him questions about his interests, too! Don't talk about yourself constantly or act superior about your plans and goals. You might come off as unattainable or just plain unrelatable.^{[13]
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5
Hold back a little and avoiding telling him everything about you. If you rush to disclose every thought, idea, and emotion you have, he might feel a bit overwhelmed. Plus, tipping your hand early can make you seem less interesting. Be a little mysterious and hard to read sometimes.^{[14]
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6
Don't go overboard with the hard-to-get act or you might lose him. Guys like a challenge, but ultimately, they want a challenge that they can actually win. If you seem completely disinterested or non-responsive, he may just give up on ever having a relationship with you. Also, if he feels like you're playing games, he might get pretty turned off.^{[15]
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- These strategies aren't good permanent solutions. Over time, playing hard to get just leads to confusion. He may even start to see you as a manipulative person, which you definitely don't want!^{[16]
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Community Q&A
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Question

I need to see my guy tonight. How can I get him to ask me to stay with him tonight without asking him if I can stay?

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You could ask him if he wants to watch a movie at his place tonight, just be sure to pick a long movie! It'll be pretty late by the time it ends and it would be natural for him to invite you to stay at that point.
Question

How do you make a man more sexually attracted to you?

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Be confident, approach him first, flirt with him, hold eye contact, and smile. Keep the conversation fun and light and touch him on the arm a few times to see how he reacts. It'll be pretty clear at that point if he's into you or not. Good luck!
Question

How do you make a guy talk to a girl if they don't know each other?

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Start by smiling at him and making eye contact a few times from across the room. Find a reason to stand a little closer to where he is and see if he takes the bait!