How to Get Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Kiss You First

Co-authored by Eddy Baller

Last Updated: January 26, 2021 References Approved

Have you started a relationship with someone, but have not shared a kiss yet? Are you afraid to make the first move? Kissing can be fun and exciting, but also intense and intimate. However, it is nothing to be afraid of. With a little effort, you and your special someone will be kissing in no time.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Using Body Language

1
Make physical contact.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 31 March 2020.} Kissing is an intimate act. You can move toward the act of kissing by creating some warm touch. Find any reason to touch your partner, or even just stand very close to them, to signal that you’re ready to lock lips.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Lean against your partner.
- Put your arm around them.
- Brush an eyelash from their face.
- Fix the tag on their t-shirt.
2
Highlight your mouth. Drawing attention to your mouth encourages your partner to think about kissing, and in turn, to want to kiss you. Draw attention to your mouth with subtle actions.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- Apply lip gloss or lip balm.
- Eat a piece of fruit, like a strawberry.
- Gently bite your bottom lip.
Advertisement
3
Make eye contact.^{[4]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 31 March 2020.} Perhaps the most sure-fire sign that you would like to be kissed is a lot of sustained eye contact. When you spend time with your partner, try to hold their gaze as much as possible. This helps to build intimacy, and signals to them that you would like to be kissed.
- During a board game, during a meal, or simply when you are sitting together on the couch are all great times to practice your eye contact.
- Aim to hold their gaze for 10-15 seconds at a time.
4
Try cuddling. Lay your head on your partner’s shoulder or go in for a long hug. The more physical touch you share, the more likely you are to kiss.
- Try some gentle cuddling while riding the bus or watching TV.
5
Create an opportunity.^{[5]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 31 March 2020.} The “goodbye kiss” is a classic end to a date or hangout. As the night is coming to a close, chances are, your date will probably be wondering whether they should try to kiss you or not. Help sway them by providing lots of clues!
- When it is almost time to say goodbye, find ways to touch them, make lots of eye contact, and find some way to draw attention to your mouth.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Setting the Right Mood

1
Find someplace private. It may seem romantic to kiss outside in the rain or snow, but most people prefer to smooch in private. You are more likely to get a kiss if you can find some place to spend time with your partner alone.
- Go for a walk.
- Go to a restaurant when it’s very slow (e.g., 3:00pm).
- Hang out at home.
- Make sure you stay in safe areas and follow the rules.
2
Watch a movie. A lot of first kisses happen during movies. Whether you go out to see a movie or take in a movie at home, watching a movie allows you to get cozy with your partner. This often results in a kiss.
- A romantic movie can stir up some romance.
- A scary movie can get you snuggling in for safety.
- A funny movie may put you both in a positive mood.
3
Wear a fragrance. Perfumes and colognes were invented to attract romantic partners. Wear a sweet, subtle fragrance to lure your boyfriend or girlfriend to kiss you. Be careful not to over do it! Too much fragrance will have the opposite effect.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Clinique Happy is a nice feminine scent.
- Lacoste Challenge is a subtle, more masculine scent.
4
Brush your teeth. One of the most important ways to prepare for a wonderful kiss is to make sure your mouth is clean and fresh! Brush your teeth, floss your teeth, and use mouthwash before meeting up with your boyfriend or girlfriend.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- You may want to bring some mouthwash or mints along with you just in case you need freshen up.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Sending Flirty Signals

1
Whisper sweet nothings. An excellent way to flirt with your partner and send a clear signal that you’d like to be kissed is to whisper in their ear. Get very close to them and say something simple like, “Thanks for a wonderful date.” Your body close to them, your face by their face, and your breath on their ear are sure to ramp up the kissing desire!^{[8]
X
Research source}
- You can also try giving them a simple compliment, such as, "I like your shirt," or, "You smell nice."
2
Compliment them. Making your partner feel confident helps give them the courage to kiss you. Tell them some of the things you like about them. If you are feeling very bold, be sure to mention that you like their lips.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- You can say, “You have really nice eyes.”
- You can say, “You’re always so kind to strangers on the street. I really like that about you.”
- If you are feeling saucy, say, “You have really nice lips. I really like the shape of them.”
3
Talk about kissing. It is possible that your partner may not be thinking about kissing. You can bring kissing to their mind (and encourage them to kiss you) by bringing up the topic of kissing in conversation.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- For example, if you see other people kissing (in a movie or on the street) you can point it out. You can say, “It looks like they are having fun.”
- Or you could say something like, “Did you know that the human mouth is packed with nerve endings? That is why kissing feels so good.”
- You can also say outright to your partner, "If it's okay with you, I would love to kiss you."
4
Be confident!^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 31 March 2020.} If all else fails, just do the kissing yourself! Sometimes you’ve got to be the one to make the first move. You can boost your confidence and find the gusto to go in for a kiss by looking for positive signals. Has your partner been making eye contact, standing very close, and paying you compliments? Then chance are, they are waiting for you to kiss them.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- Ask the person before you kiss them! It will diffuse your nervousness about whether or not they want to kiss you because you'll have a clear answer.
- If you get nervous, you can excuse yourself for a moment and go take some deep breaths.
- Focus on how you will feel after the kiss (relaxed, relieved, romantic) and any nervousness should fade into the background.

Expert Q&A
Did you know you can get expert answers for this article? Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow

Question

How do I initiate my first kiss with my boyfriend?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

If you have already built up some intimacy and comfort with your boyfriend, you could try cuddling to break the touch barrier and build up to that first kiss.
Question

I've never kissed a boy, and I'm scared I will be bad at it. What should I do?

Community Answer

Having your first kiss can be scary and exciting, but don’t let that stop you. Instead, ask yourself if you are ready for that level of intimacy with someone. Do you feel comfortable, cared for, and safe with this person? If so, then you will also know that they will be accepting and nonjudgmental about a nervous, "first try" kiss. If you have a deep connection to this person and the first attempt is a dud, you will both likely laugh and try again.
Question

My girlfriend is too shy to kiss me. What should I do?

Community Answer

If she is too shy to kiss you, then it is unlikely that she will make the first move. You can talk to her about how she feels about kissing, if she is comfortable with it, and if she’d like to kiss you. These questions will give you clear guidelines about how to proceed with her.