How to Get Rid of Homesickness

Last Updated: December 16, 2022 References

Homesickness is an inevitable part of moving away from home, especially for the first time. Still, the emotional distress associated with homesickness should be taken seriously. If you’re feeling homesick, recognize the significance of what you’re feeling and why. Accept that fact that adjusting to a new environment is challenging and that making new friends takes time.^{[1]
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Research source} As your new life develops, decide upon a few active steps to take to get rid of your homesickness.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Coping With Homesickness

1
Enjoy the freedom. This may sound like terrible advice, but enjoying yourself is the best way to get rid of homesickness. Moving somewhere new offers you the chance to choose how you want to spend your free time. Focus on yourself; it’s important to do every once and a while, and being somewhere new provides the perfect opportunity to do so. Tricks to enjoying the solitary life include:
- Exercise. Get your heart rate up every day, however you prefer to do so. Jogging is a great way to see your new neighborhood from a personal perspective. This will teach you about your new environment and make you feel more comfortable.
- Carry something to keep you occupied. If you keep a journal, always have it with you. Or, carry a book or magazine. Reading and writing are great ways to both occupy your mind and express your thoughts.
- Do that thing you’ve always wanted to do. Skydive. Or, if it’s more your pace, go to an art museum. Think back to the last time you thought to yourself, “I’d like to try that.” Whatever it was, here’s your chance!
2
Insist on a positive mentality. Don’t confuse being alone in a new place with automatic loneliness. There’s no rule that states being alone means you must feel lonely. Remind yourself of this, out loud if you have to. Other helpful things to tell yourself include:
- My time alone is only temporary.
- I may want to be somewhere else today, but it will get better here.
- Everybody feels lonely from time to time.
- I am strong and creative enough to handle some time alone.
- There are people in the world that care about me, however far away.
- I’m hanging out with myself right now, and that’s probably something I should do from time to time.
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3
Find alternatives to hometown comforts. If you’re missing the familiarity of your favorite coffee shop back home, or are worried about how to find a mechanic you can trust, reflect what it was about those places you liked. Go out and find comparable versions of these places in the city where you live now. Searching for something like a new favorite coffee shop will make it more apparent what sorts of space you enjoy to be in.
- For instance, you may realize that natural lighting is really what you need to focus, and the coffee shops you had been going to since you moved were darker than you were used to. If you find a sunny, well-lit place with a similar ambiance to the spot you miss, you may end up with a new favorite. Plus, the search will facilitate meeting a bunch of baristas (who can be great sources of local knowledge) and seeing a few new neighborhoods!
- Recognize that finding comfort living in a new city requires a lot of knowledge about that place. Explore and expose yourself to what your new city has to offer – including the countless new exercise opportunities, restaurants, nightlife options, and public transit systems. You’ll find yourself comparing these to those you’re used to. This will increase your comfort in your new city and provide you with equivalents of the places you had most enjoyed in your previous home town.
4
Set specific days to contact home. Plan a particular day, once a week, to call home. While this may feel like it is not enough, it will give you the time and space to start developing new social connections in your new environment.^{[2]
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Have some comforting possessions around. If only subconsciously, reminders of the places and people you miss will put you more at ease. Even if reminders of home come with a twang of longing, your comfort with familiar items will make you more comfortable where you are now. Place photos of friends and family or items that were in your room back home in places you’ll see them frequently.
6
Write an old-fashioned letter! Write to an old friend that you haven’t spoken with in a while. It will be deeply meaningful to the recipient, and you’ll be surprised by how much you enjoy the process of writing a letter by hand. If a friend is willing, commit to writing back and forth. One letter a month will keep you in touch, establish a way to get your thoughts on paper, and give you something to look forward to receiving.
7
Have something to look forward to. Looking forward to something helps keep you in a positive frame of mind. If you’re missing home with particular potency and are able to visit, plan a trip in advance. This will calm you down in the meantime, give you something to look forward to, and supply you with a dose of home itself.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Building a New Social Base

1
Acknowledge that people are harder to replace than places. You will find a new hairstylist sooner than later. Finding new friends is admittedly harder. Allow yourself to miss the people that had made your life so comfortable before you moved – and recognize that there will not be perfect equivalents for those people anywhere else in the world. Don’t let this diminish the quality of your life in your new home.
- Recognize that a new city offers not only new friendships, but entirely new networks and communities to dive into. Don’t hesitate to do so. If you’re missing one or two people in particular, call them in the evening to share stories about your day with one another. You’ll find that you have more to talk about – and more positive, mutually enjoyable conversations – when you have new, exciting experiences to talk about!
2
Connect with people where you are. Though it may not feel like it, there are groups of people wherever you’ve moved that will be thrilled to meet you. Whether based on a shared history or shared interests, seek out those that congregate according to criteria that you also share. For instance:
- If you went to a large university and have moved to a big city, there are probably alumni meetups. If a quick search doesn’t bring any hits, contact your alumni center and they’ll know if there’s an organized alumni group in your new city.
- If you’ve moved to a new country, seek out those that have also moved there from the country you left behind.
- Go out on a whim. There are some great websites designed around organizing meet ups based on similar interests or even just casual social interaction. Check out Meetup and Reddit, which both have platforms to meet people in cities around the world.^{[3]
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3
Accept invitations. If someone invites you out, go! Don’t worry about immediately becoming friends with everyone you meet. You’ll likely meet plenty of people that you don’t develop a relationship with. You can still enjoy the interaction, and the more people you meet the more comfortable you’ll be putting yourself out there.^{[5]
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4
Host a meal and make a dish from home. Here’s a great to both provide yourself with some familiar aromas and flavors from home, and develop genuine relationships with people in your new life.^{[6]
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Research source} Friendship based on breaking bread together is older than the written word. Invite the people you want to know better to share in a meal that means something to you. Speak of your prior home in the home you’re developing now.
5
Volunteer. Volunteering will immerse you in a new community, leading to new social connections and providing you with a sense of place in a new city. Whatever your interests are, you can find a volunteer opportunity that you will enjoy, and meet people interested in contributing to the world in a similar way.
6
Seek to surround yourself with others. Be around other people. There are plenty of ways to increase your social interactions in simple and casual ways. If you’re a college student, know that this is the time in your life in which you’ll have unlimited opportunities to meet people and get involved in new communities. For help considering your options:
- Look up a list of student organizations. Universities make these readily available on their websites.
- Look up a campus calendar. Chances are, you’ll soon be attending events of the sort you never knew existed. Universities are incredible places to experience all sorts of creative expression, from music to comedy. There’s will almost always be something going on that interests you.
- Join a recreational league. This will immediately immerse you in a new community, and will likely lead to new friendships.
- When you’re eating, especially in a space where others are in a similar situation (such as a mess hall or dining hall), ask to sit at an occupied table with an open chair and say hello to those already there.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Coming to Terms with Homesickness

1
Know where homesickness comes from. Living away from home, especially for the first time – perhaps at college or in service with the military – you’ll soon begin to miss aspects of your previous life. Realize that the absence of the people and places that made you feel loved, safe, and secure can have an immense impact on your frame of mind. Longing for home is the expression of a longing for the comfort and safety of what you’re used to, including a routine and a sense of social belonging. ^{[7]
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2
Know that homesickness will come and go. Like all emotions, the weight of your feelings associated with homesickness will vary. Don’t be surprised by unexpected moments of sadness and longing for home. These are entirely normal feelings. Your mind (and your body) is simply reacting to a significant change in environment.^{[8]
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3
Don’t be surprised by the strength of your emotions. Homesickness can have some serious repercussions on your mind and body. Get professional help if you feel unstable or deeply sad. In particular, be aware of increases in the following:^{[9]
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- Anxiety.
- Sadness and nervousness.
- Obsessive preoccupation with thoughts about home.
4
Tell somebody how you feel. Whether you just started college, moved across the country for a new job, or have been shipped off on a military assignment, there will be someone you can talk to about the transition. Even if no one comes to mind, talk to someone you know who has lived somewhere on their own before. Not acknowledging the way you feel can lead to longer-lasting or more severe homesickness.
5
Reflect. Ask yourself, “What is it that I’m actually missing?” Consider the possibility that you may simply be missing your old self, and aren’t used to this new version of you that you’re becoming. New situations often bring to mind some profound self-reflection, and with that, some meaningful realizations that will significantly contribute to your growth and maturity.^{[10]
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