How to Deal With Little Sisters

Co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Last Updated: March 26, 2023

Little sisters can take a toll on you - sometimes they can be loving and sweet, and sometimes they can really get on your nerves. Learning how not to lose your cool when they’re really getting to you is a good way to deal with them.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Keeping Your Cool

1
Take a deep breath. Taking a deep breath can help you keep calm when your little sister is really getting on your nerves. Before you react, take a deep breath and count to ten.
2
Don't show your frustration. If your little sister can tell that you're frustrated or angry, she might just want to annoy you more. Try not to give away how you're feeling -- so don't ball your hands into fists, or slam the door, or yell.^{[1]
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3
Walk away. If your little sister is being really annoying, and taking a deep breath doesn’t help, you can walk away from her. Go into another room and do something that’s just for you – read a book or play with your favorite toys. Some time alone can help you calm down.
- If your little sister follows you into another room, you can leave the house to take a walk or go for a drive if you can. That way she can't follow, and you get time to cool down.
4
Don't hit her. You might feel really, really mad – so mad that you want to hit your little sister. No matter how mad you get, don’t ever hit her. She can get really hurt, and you can get in a lot of trouble.
5
Think before you speak. When you're frustrated, it can be easy to say something mean that you'll feel bad about later. Instead, take a deep breath and really think about what you want to say. This will give you a chance to calm down and can also prevent you from saying anything you don't mean.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Improving Your Relationship

1
Congratulate them. When your little sisters do something great, congratulate them! They’ll feel good that you noticed they did something good, and it can make you feel good to be nice to them.
2
Do something together. You don’t have to spend all of your time together, but your little sister might be annoying you because she wants to spend time with you. You can improve your relationship with them by doing things together. Ask her to spend time with you, doing an activity you both like.^{[2]
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- You could go to a movie together, or watch a favorite movie at home. You can also draw together, or read a book together. Playing games that you both enjoy is also a good way to spend time together.
3
Tell her what bothers you. If your little sister doesn’t realize how much some of the things she does bothers you, she might keep doing them. At a time when you’re not mad, explain to her why what she does bothers you. Talking to her can help you get along better.^{[3]
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- You could say something like, "Amy, when you come into my room and touch my things, it really bothers me. I don't mind if you touch it, but I'd really like you to ask for my permission first, especially since some of my things are breakable. Will you ask from now on?"
4
Set some ground rules. If you and your little sister fight because of things she does, sit down together and decide on some rules. Tell your parents about the rules so they can help you both follow them.
- For example, if your little sister takes your things without asking, one of your rules could be, “You have to ask for permission before you can touch or use my things. If you don’t ask permission, I can tell Mom and Dad.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Preventing Negative Feelings

1
Remember what makes you special. Maybe you always win races at school, or maybe you get really good grades. If you know you don’t get along with your little sisters because of jealousy, taking some time to deal with that jealousy can help improve your relationship. When you’re feeling a little jealous or resentful of your little sisters, remember what makes you more mature than them. It’ll help you feel better.
2
Talk to your parents. If you feel jealous of your little sister, talk to your parents about it. They can help you figure out how you're feeling. They can also plan to spend more time with you, if you're feeling jealous of the attention your little sister gets.
3
Don’t go out of your way to be mean. You might be tempted to be mean to her, even when she’s not annoying you. Don’t tease her or mistreat her in any way. If you do, you’ll get the reputation as the mean older sibling, and it can make your relationship worse.

Community Q&A

Question

How do I keep my little sister from following me everywhere?

Community Answer

She's probably bored, or she just admires you and wants to be around you. Try giving her something to do. If she just wants to hang out with you, make a deal with her, like you'll play a game with her for 30 minutes if she'll leave you alone for 30 minutes after that.
Question

What if she embarrasses me really badly in public?

Community Answer

Calm yourself by breathing and talk to her about it later. Make sure not to retaliate; just think of something different, or walk away.
Question

How do I deal with a little sister who is rude and hurtful for no reason?

Community Answer

Maybe she isn't feeling like she's getting enough attention. Set aside a time each day to do something with her, like coloring or playing a game. Do your best to be patient with her.