How to Change a Girl's Mind

Co-authored by Erika Kaplan

Last Updated: February 6, 2023

Being rejected by a girl is just another part of growing up. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions. Sometimes girls can be stubborn and pretend they don't like you for any number of reasons. In some cases they really mean no, but in other scenarios you have another chance.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Changing an Acquaintance

1
Recognize her behavior. If you don't know her very well, you might mistake her appearance as a rejection. Some people just have certain quirks. It doesn't always mean that she isn't interested. Notice if she smiles when you talk to her, or if she laughs at things you say.^{[1]
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- Don't mistake laughing with you with laughing at you.
2
Make eye contact. Creating sexual tension with eye contact can create a healthy attraction. Never stare at a girl. This is just a rude thing to do. Instead make short glances at her and look at her eyes. Hopefully she'll meet your eye contact and then turn away. Continue this until you both hold eye contact longer than the previous time.

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3
Be yourself. Girls don't like guys who are pretending to be someone else. They'll like you for you. If you were pretending to be someone else before, then just be yourself. She might like you if you relax and stop trying to change for other people.
4
Ask her friends. Friends of a girl you like are usually easier to talk to. Be casual and ask about the girl you like. Say something like, "Does Jessie have a boyfriend?" or "What's Jessie's type"? They'll either tell you or they won't. The important thing is that they'll probably tell the girl and the more they talk about you, the better your chances are.
5
Be flexible. Continue being yourself, but if there are certain thoughts you have that might be rude, keep them to yourself. There's always some give and take, so make sure you're not being a jerk. Girls like it when you show that you can be chill and enjoy yourself no matter what you're doing.
6
Recognize the player. Sometimes a girl enjoy playing with a guys heart, and sometimes it's a flirting tactic. Even though she says she doesn't like you, she might want you to try harder to get her attention. The key is to become better friends with her and spend more time together. You'll know her real intentions by her body language and the vibes she's sending.^{[2]
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7
Be direct. Once you've become a little bit closer with this girl, you can try again. You have to vary the way you present yourself to her. She may not of liked what you said to her the first time. If she says no or looks really uncomfortable, don't force it.
- Be honest to her.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Getting Out of the Friend Zone

1
Know her type. Being friends with her will give you access to what she's looking for in a guy. You could even casually ask her if she thinks Jim Smith is attractive, and then find out why. Talking about her attraction to other boys may remind her of your feelings.
2
Stay on her good side. If she has put you in the friend zone, you have one thing going for you: she doesn't mind being around you. Don't mess this up by annoying her and pestering her for a romantic date. This will take time if it's even possible.
- Allowing yourself to be a little bit vulnerable around her. Your communication should not be all fun and jokes all the time. Instead, try to be more vulnerable sometimes and confide in her just a little bit without oversharing.
3
Recognize flirting. Sometimes a girl will act like she put you in the friend zone, but sometimes she's interested in you. Friends can become big influences on how she acts towards you. Notice her actions, gestures, and hints such as smiling and laughing when things aren't that funny. Pay attention if she is noticeably worried about her appearance around you.^{[3]
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4
Flirt with her. This can be tricky because you don't want to appear too attached or engrossed by her. Acting somewhat disinterested will make her more interested. Create a strange balance of cute gestures and slight bullying in a playful way.^{[4]
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- Remember that body language is an important part of flirting. Face yourself, as well as your legs and feet, towards her when you are speaking to her. Pat her gently on the shoulder or on the leg as you are playfully flirting, and remember about the eye contact.
- Do not go overboard with bullying her or else she won't want to be friends at all.
- Being sarcastic can go a long way.
5
Tell her your feelings. Open yourself up to her. Sometimes you really need to put yourself in the spotlight. Try to say it casually and to her face.^{[5]
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Research source} Try something like:
- "I know we've been friends for a while, but I've started to develop feelings for you."
- "her name, I like you"
6
Ask her out. She probably won't tell you she likes you back. Once the seed of your feelings has been planted in her mind, invite her out. See if she wants to go to the movies, play laser tag, or bowl with you over the weekend. This will make her think of how she sees you. She'll decide if it is a date or not. The decision is always hers.
- You should know what she likes to do. Pick something to do where you can both let loose and have fun.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Talking to a Stranger

1
Observe this girl. Don't stalk her to find out what she is doing. Casually look for clues when she is nearby. Notice if she is reading a book whenever you see her. Observe what she is wearing. Does she like wearing a Sublime t-shirt?
- Look her up on social media. Everyone stalks each other on social media sites, so you don't need to feel guilty about doing it. Look at her interests!
2
Take on a common interest. Only do this if you are interested in this interest. Don't start wearing a Shania Twain t-shirt if you don't like her music. Pick up a book that she's reading. You want to have a genuinely shared connection. Pretending won't get you anywhere.
3
Say something in passing. There is a chance she had never seen you before, and didn't want to take a chance. Start saying hello to her whenever you pass her. Small gestures of kindness can go a long way. Hopefully she'll respond or smile back to you.
- You could ask her "what time it is?"
- Compliment her outfit by saying, "that's a pretty dress," or work with what she's wearing.
4
Be funny. A good way for this girl to recognize what a good catch you are is to be funny. Telling knock knock jokes may not work. Showcase your natural humor when she is nearby. Don't be offensive and tell inappropriate jokes. She could get offended or creeped out by this.
5
Hold a conversation. Try to strike up a natural conversation about something. This can be hard because you are trying to appear casual when you may not feel casual. Wait for a good opportunity like waiting for an elevator or stuck waiting for the bus. These are good places to share a thought.
- You are shooting for her to look at you and actually talk to you.
- Talk about an easy topic like the weather or a recent celebrity's antics.
6
Be friendly to her friends. You can try to approach her friends and ask questions about this girl. Even if you just do small gestures, they could think it's sweet and tell the girl you like. You really just want her group of friends to notice you and think you're nice. Once you have conversations circling around about you, you'll have a better shot.
7
Ask her out again. Be sure not use the same line or approach as you did before. You want to catch her off guard, but also impress her. Try complimenting her as you do this.
8
Respect her decision. She is entitled to her decisions and you need to respect that. Nobody likes someone who complains when they don't get what they want.