How to Bring Up LGBT+ Topics to Potential Homophobes

Last Updated: January 18, 2023

You may want to bring up an LGBTQ topic with a friend or family member to see how they react to LGBTQ topics to determine if they are homophobic. It can be difficult to talk to (potential) homophobes about LGBTQ issues and people, but it is a good way to expose them to new information that may cause them to reconsider their views. This article will show you exactly how to do so.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Planning to Discuss the Topic

1
Choose who you want to talk about the subject with. If you know someone who exhibits homophobia, it may not be a good idea to bring up LGBTQ issues. Using slurs (even if the person is aware that slurs are offensive), thinking being gay is a 'phase,' thinking LGBTQ people are 'gross,' and avoiding gay content in movies, TV, and other media are all signs of homophobia. It's not a good idea to bring up LGBTQ issues with someone you know is homophobic.
- On the other hand, if you know someone who is accepting of LGBTQ people (or who is LGBTQ themselves), it is probably fine to bring up the subject with them. Choose wisely on who to tell and who not to tell.
2
Decide what you want to talk about and research it thoroughly. Perhaps you'd like to bring up LGBTQ rights or LGBTQ adoption. Make a plan for whatever you want to talk about. Conduct research on the topic you wish to discuss. Being well-prepared allows you to answer any questions that the person you're speaking with may have. Being able to provide them with detailed information may aid in their understanding of the topic.

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3
Look for reliable sources for the information you researched. A homophobic person may wish to debate your information by attempting to convince you that your ideas are incorrect or not scientifically proven. Show them the sources to ensure you have backup. Some trusted LGBTQ resources include:
- Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN)
- Genders & Sexualities Alliance Network (GSA)
- Human Rights Campaign (HRC)
4
Include a third-party in the conversation (optional). If you believe that LGBT-related conversations could put you in danger, bring someone you trust with you to help you navigate the conversation.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Introducing LGBTQ Topics

1
Plan an appropriate time to talk. Timing is very important. Someone may not want to have a conversation with you just after they got of work or out of school. Find a time when both of you are free and not busy to discuss.
2
Look for a private, relaxed setting. If the potential homophobic person is at ease, they may not react as negatively as you expected. A more relaxed atmosphere leads to a more relaxed conversation. If you feel unsafe or concerned about the person shouting or becoming angry, you should go to a public place, such as a quieter, yet public place such as a cafe, where others can see you.
3
Introduce your topic gradually. Instead of jumping right into the topic, start with some light small talk. If the topic is simply something you believe the homophobic person should be aware of, you could introduce it by saying, "Last week, I read this article on...". You are now free to continue discussing the subject.
4
If the subject is more serious or concerns your own identity, start slowly. You might begin by saying "I'd like to talk to you about something important," or something along those lines. This allows the person in question to set aside their prejudices for a moment and listen to you before expressing their own opinion on the subject. When someone knows how it affects you personally, they may be more considerate.
5
Allow the receiver time to think about the new information. A new or loaded subject may be overwhelming for some people. Give them some time to think about what you are telling them. They may want to ask you some questions or simply need some space. Do not rush the conversation.
6
After having the conversation, you may want to bring it up again later on. Make it a more casual topic by talking about it more. Talking about something more frequently makes it an easier subject to discuss.
7
Handle any conflict that arises. If the potential homophobic person becomes angry or raises their voice at you, try to remain calm and not respond with anger. Staying calm demonstrates that you are not as dangerous or bad as they may believe. Try to

Warnings

Not everyone is in the safe position to have conversations like these. Consider your own safety beforehand.

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If it is too dangerous, avoid having this conversation. Caution should be given to your own safety.

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