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Thanks to the geek chic movement and the increasing demand for intellectual work, being smart is cooler than ever. But some smart people still feel like wallflowers. Being cool isn't about changing who you are, but building confidence and treating other people with consideration and respect.
Steps
Method 1
Method 1 of 2:
Changing Your Approach
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1Analyze the situation. What about your current situation bothers you? Do you want more friends? Do you consider yourself nerdy or geeky, and are you happy that way? How nerdy are you? Are you hoping to be more respected?
- There's nothing wrong with being a nerd or geek, and embracing it can be cool. But if you're being labeled this way and you don't think it fits, you can change how people see you.
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2Have good hygiene. It's hard for people to enjoy hanging out with you if you smell funny or look dirty. Looking your best helps you
- Shower daily and wear deodorant.
- Brush and floss your teeth.
- Care for your hair so that it looks neat.
- Wear clean clothes that aren't too wrinkly.
- Only wear makeup if you're interested in it.
- Don't worry too much about glasses or braces; most people don't pay close attention.
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3Dress well. Everyone has their own personal style. The most important part is to wear neat and well-fitting clothing to help you look your best.
- Make sure that you choose colors that match. If that's tricky, wear one color at a time paired with neutrals.
- To boost your style even more, try figuring out your season color and body type. This way, you can pick clothes that flatter your natural coloring and shape.
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4Keep a balanced perspective about any obsessions. It's okay to have passions and interests that don't align with the mainstream. But overdoing them to the point of neglecting other important things, or letting yourself get too upset over things that don't matter, isn't healthy for you.
- Embracing your obsessions is cooler than hiding them for fear that they're shameful.
- Remember to cultivate other interests too. It's good to have several interests to build a broader skillset and to have something fun to do if you get tired of one of them for a while.
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5Make time for physical activity (even light physical activity). A strong body will help you protect your strong brain. Exercise can boost your mood and thinking skills.
- Even taking a walk around the neighborhood with a friend is better than sitting around all day.
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6Don't engage in rude or destructive behavior even if the "cool" people are doing it. Slacking off, experimenting with addictive drugs, drinking excessive alcohol, and other bad habits won't help you in the long run. Keep doing your best in life.
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Method 2
Method 2 of 2:
Socializing Well
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1Learn to listen. Sometimes you might not notice that you are talking and think that people are actually interested but they are annoyed or bored. If you can't think of anything to say ask a question that is not too lame. Most people like to talk about themselves. It's good to be talkative and able to hold up a conversation, but make sure to let the other person or people speak - really listen when they are talking. Practice your speaking skills with people you feel comfortable with, like a sibling or neighbor.
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2Start small when talking about your interests. Sometimes people ask what you like to do because they're trying to make conversation or find things in common with you. Give them a brief overview, and only go into detail if they ask a specific question. Otherwise, try asking them what they like to do, since most people enjoy talking about themselves.
- If you're insecure about your nerdy hobbies, or if you think people may not connect with them, then try mentioning a more mainstream activity that you also enjoy (such as shopping, visiting the beach, or trying out new restaurants).
- For example, if you like to make websites, don't say "I make the best web-pages without even using any programs. I make them with Notepad because I memorized HTML and I'm fluent in JavaScript, and I hate how the WYSIWYG editors force you to conform (conformity is so mainstream) and to relax I like to play MMORPGS, Warcraft on the Dalaran server, to be specific, blah-blah-blah." Just say, "I like to use the computer and play videogames." If they ask you specifically, say "I make websites", or "I like to play Warcraft".
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3Skip the bragging. Do not try to say that you are better than someone through bragging. You think you're being cool, but bragging is annoying, and that makes you annoying. Don't be a know-it-all who always corrects people's grammar and ideas either.
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4Ignore the jerks. Getting into fights and letting people bait you isn't cool. Don't even respond if someone insults you (unless you want to look up some snippy comebacks). You are who you are, and if they want to be rude, that's their problem. Don't lower your mentality to theirs! If they keep bothering you, you can walk away, or use one of those snippy comebacks and then walk away.
- Of course, that doesn't mean you should never take constructive criticism. There's a huge difference between someone saying "I think you're a loser" and someone saying "you keep interrupting people and you need to work on stopping that."
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5Try to be easy to talk to. Do your best to be friendly, humble, and caring towards other people. Give a few compliments and work on your listening skills. If you're generally pleasant to be around, people will usually respect you and think highly of you.
- Show respect to people who know less than you do. Instead of lording your so-called superiority over them, try being a friend and teaching them anything they'd like to know.
- Set boundaries if needed. For example, if someone tries to copy your homework, you could say "While I'm happy to talk over the subject, I'm not willing to cheat you of a learning opportunity by letting you copy my work."
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Warnings
- Being a jerk is a quick way to make people to stop liking you.⧼thumbs_response⧽
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