How to Be the Type of Nerd That Girls Love

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Sophia Latorre

Last Updated: September 13, 2022

Contrary to what the media may say, girls like nerdy guys. Intelligence and humor are traits that all girls appreciate, so show her your smarts, passion, and funny side. Be sweet, listen to what she says, and learn about things she likes. You should also take care of yourself, don’t be afraid to show your confidence, and even consider branching out by trying new things and meeting new people.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Staying True to Yourself

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Show your smarts. Intelligence is a highly attractive trait. Don’t be afraid to show a girl that you are smart. They want to be able to have an intelligent conversation with a guy, rather than only discussing sports or pop culture. You just might be able to teach her something or show her a new perspective.^{[1]
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- For example, if a girl you like is struggling with chemistry, offer to help her. Explain what she is having trouble with and try a lab experiment together. She’ll appreciate your knowledge and your effort.
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Demonstrate your passion. Girls like guys who are passionate about something, and it doesn’t really matter if your passion is comic books, calculus, or coin collecting. Showing a girl that you care about something and have learned a lot about the subject is one way to win her heart.^{[2]
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- Explain to her why you love Dungeons and Dragons. Offer to let her play with you and show her how much fun it can be.
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Joke around. Girls just wanna have fun! They will enjoy spending time with a guy with whom they can joke around, laugh with, and be silly. Girls appreciate a guy who doesn’t take himself, or the world, seriously all the time.^{[3]
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Be sweet. Girls love nice guys. They want to be treated well, and will appreciate a guy that is respectful to them, their friends, and their parents. Be sweet by complimenting her or writing her a nice note.^{[4]
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- Helping others in need is a great way to show a girl your sweet side, so offer to help a classmate understand a tricky concept in class or stand up to a bully that is picking on someone else.
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Listen to what she says. Pay attention when a girl is talking to you, and respond to her questions or anxieties. Remembering what she said later will show her that you think what she has to say is worthwhile and that you care.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.}
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Take care of yourself. Although you should stay true to your personal style, it is important to take care of yourself. Pay attention to personal hygiene, such as showering daily, wearing deodorant, and brushing your teeth. Always wear clean clothes, and consider styling your hair. You could even spritz on a little cologne so that you smell great when a girl compliments your Star Trek t-shirt.

Part 2

Part 2 of 2:

Stepping Up Your Game

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Get confident. Confidence is an attractive trait, but cockiness really isn’t. People who are confident know their talents, but also recognize that there is room to improve, while those who are cocky believe they are the best. One of the best ways to show your confidence is to be the leader and help others if they're having a hard time. Allow girls to see you in the role of leader or expert.
- Saying “I know I’m going to ace this test. I’m smarter than the teacher!” is an example of cockiness. Instead, confidently say “I’m prepared for this test so I think I’ll do well.”
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Show assertiveness. While it’s important to be nice, you don’t want to get walked all over. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and say what and how you feel. Girls will respect a guy that speaks up rather than just agreeing to whatever she wants.
- For example, if someone makes fun of the map of the Shire you keep in your locker, speak up. Explain how interesting and well thought-out the fantasy kingdom is, and tell them how important the books have been to you while growing up.
- Don’t allow yourself to be manipulated. If a person only talks to you when they want or need something, chances are you will do just fine without them in your life.
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Branch out. Talking to people outside your normal group of friends will help you meet girls. Try talking to other people or helping other students with schoolwork. You could even become a tutor! You don't have to stop talking to your regular friends or change your personality - just step out of your comfort zone. This will ensure that you are more noticeable.
- Try different activities and interests. You may just surprise yourself by enjoying the activity, and you will also meet new people.
- For example, instead of only attending Comic-Con, check out other events and expos as well. Attend a rodeo, go to a pop concert, see an action film, or tailgate before a sports game.
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Learn about the things she likes.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 11 March 2021.} This is a great way to impress a girl, and you may be surprised by what you learn. For example, if she likes fashion, read up on a couple of her favorite designers. She will be impressed by how open-minded you are, and you will have learned the effect clothing has on socio-economic history.
- Though you may well-versed in all things George Lucas, she may love Shakespeare. Read her favorite play or poem, then invite her over to watch Star Wars together.
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Accept her for who she is. You want a girl that likes you for who you are, so you must be willing to like a girl for who she is as well. It’s okay if you don’t have everything in common - opposites attract! Just be respectful of her interests and quirks.^{[7]
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Expert Q&A

Question

What can I do to make a girl happy?

Lisa Shield
Dating Coach
Lisa Shield is a love and relationship expert based in Los Angeles. She has a Master's degree in Spiritual Psychology and is a certified life and relationship coach with over 17 years of experience. Lisa has been featured in The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, LA Times, and Cosmopolitan.

Lisa Shield

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Women really drop a lot of hints about what they want. A lot of guys tune them out or simply do not listen. If you really like a girl and want to impress her, listen to the things she's hinting about and do them for her!
Question

What if the girl is really cute?

Community Answer

Follow the steps listed in the article. It doesn't really matter what the girl looks like, personality defines compatibility. Try to be confident, rather than nervous due to her looks. Be yourself and show her that you care.
Question

Why can you control yourself the nervousness around women?

Community Answer

You can try some calming exercises, such as deep breathing or meditation. You should also visualize your success, rather than focusing on what could go wrong. Check out "How to Not Get Nervous" (https://www.wikihow.com/Not-Get-Nervous) for more ideas.