How to Attract a Smart Teenage Girl

Co-authored by Cher Gopman

Last Updated: October 19, 2022 References

Attracting a smart girl works much the same as attracting any girl. In order to attract a smart teenage girl, you’ll need to make sure your physical appearance is in order and that you are interacting with her in a way that shows her you are worth her time. When it comes time to ask her out, you should take steps to make her feel comfortable and excited about the prospect of going on a date with her.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Attracting Her Physically

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Dress nicely. This doesn’t mean you need to wear designer clothing or even a specific style of clothing. However, it does mean that you should avoid wearing dirty or smelly clothing. The style can be whatever you feel suits you best. Just make sure that it is clean and not too worn out.^{[1]
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- Remember that it is important to be yourself. Choose the clothes that you feel your best in. No matter how you dress, you can still make sure that your clothes are clean and fresh-smelling.
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Have good hygiene. You probably aren’t going to attract anyone if you don’t take good care of your hygiene. There are a lot of things you can do to improve your hygiene, and doing so will improve your confidence in yourself.^{[2]
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- Shower at least once a day. Showering daily will wash away any dirt, germs, and/or bacteria that has accumulated during the day. This will also help you stay fresh-smelling.
- Brush your teeth at least two times per day. Carry a pack of sugar-free gum with you, and chew a piece after each meal. This will help keep your breath fresh and your teeth healthy.
- Wear deodorant. It can be an easy thing to forget, but wearing deodorant will help you avoid the embarrassment of body odor. If you do a lot of sports and other physically active things, have some deodorant in your bag to put on beforehand.
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Take good care of your hair and skin. This doesn’t mean you have to look a certain way (e.g. preppy). It just means that you should put some effort into taking care of your hair and skin. Wash your face and apply moisturizer to keep it looking healthy and radiant.
- You don’t necessarily need to wash your hair every single day but make sure that you wash it when it gets dirty and/or looks greasy.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Interacting With Her

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Be yourself.^{[3]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} A smart girl will quickly see through any attempts to show off or act tough. Instead, just be who you are. Being able to be comfortable in your own skin does take some work, but most people really appreciate someone who is genuinely themselves.^{[4]
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- Sometimes it can be difficult to act naturally in front of someone we have a crush on, but just do your best. For example, if you are really involved in one of your school's clubs, don’t get out of it just because you heard she doesn’t think it's cool.
- You can also be true to yourself by standing up for yourself. For example, if someone dares you to do something bold in front of your crush, but you don’t really want to do it, then don’t. This will show your crush that you’re mature enough to say “no” to something in spite of what others might think of you.
- If you are being yourself and the smart girl you had your eye on isn’t interested, try to remind yourself that this isn’t an indication that you aren’t a good person. It may just be that you aren’t her type.
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Be kind. You might think that the best way to attract a smart girl is to be tough and intimidating to those around you. However, unless that is really who you are, it probably isn’t the case. Instead, show her that you are a kind person. If she sees you being kind to others, she may start to think of you in a different way than she did before.^{[5]
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- For example, don’t allow someone to be a bully to someone that usually gets picked on.
- Help out people whenever you can. This can be small things. Help someone pick up their things if they drop them.
- Don’t make jokes at other people’s expense. This shows that you aren’t clever enough to make people laugh without using someone else.
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Be confident.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} It’s important to understand that being confident does not at all mean being arrogant. Instead being confident means showing others that you feel good about yourself and who you are.^{[7]
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- There are lots of ways to show that you are confident. For example, you can use confident body language. Make eye contact with others, smile, and keep your body language open and inviting. Stand with your arms at your side, your posture straight, and your chin up.
- Another way to display confidence is by speaking slowly and calmly. When you are talking to someone you are interested in, your natural reaction might be to talk more quickly than you naturally would. Try to notice how fast you are speaking, and slow it down a bit. This doesn’t mean that you should speak unnaturally slow, but rather that you should avoid talking so fast that she will have a hard time understanding you.^{[8]
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- Everyone experiences a lack of confidence at some point or another. This is OK, practice pretending that you are confident whenever you are struggling.
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Take an interest in her life. When you are around her, show an interest in the things she likes and the things that are important to her. This will show her that you are genuine and not self-centered.^{[9]
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- For example, if she is talking about a movie that she really loves, ask her why she loves it. Don’t just nod and say “cool.”
- If there is a particular subject she is interested in, ask her what makes her so passionate about it. For example, if she is passionate about animal welfare, you could say, “It’s really awesome that you work so hard for animal rights. What got you so interested in helping in the first place?” Not only will you show her that you care, you will also learn something new about her.
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Show her what makes you worth her time. A smart girl will probably want to be with someone who is also intelligent. This doesn’t mean you have to be a genius, but it does mean that you have to be able to keep up with her. When having a conversation with her, talk to her about the things that interest you and the dreams that you hope to accomplish.^{[10]
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- For example, if you are a huge fan of baseball, talk to her about why you enjoy it so much. For example, you can say, “My dad taught me about baseball when I was very little, and it is something that we’ve been enjoying together my entire life.” Don’t be afraid to be open about your life with her.
- If you aren’t able to think of something that interests you, and you don’t have any dreams, then you should probably take the time to figure out who you are before worrying about attracting someone.
- If you want to attract a smart girl, you’ll have to keep them interested. This means that you’ll really have to put in the effort when it comes to talking to them. They won’t find you very interesting if all you can talk about is the last football game you saw on TV.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Asking Her Out

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Avoid asking her in front of other people. When asking a girl out, especially if she is smart, you’ll probably want to ask her when she is alone. This is because a smart girl probably won’t enjoy being put on the spot. Asking her alone will give her a bit more space to think about how she wants to respond. It will also show that you are thoughtful, and want to be respectful.
- If you’re having a hard time getting her alone, try casually asking her if you can talk to her alone for a minute. For example, if you have a class with her, try saying “Hey [insert girl’s name], do you have a minute after class today? I wanted to talk to you about something.”
- Keep it light when you bring this up or she might get worried about what you want to talk about. For example, when you ask her to talk later, you can add in, “Don’t worry! It’s nothing bad or a big deal at all, I just need to ask you about something.” Keep your tone upbeat and happy.
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Suggest something you know she will find interesting.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Expert Interview. 17 May 2019.} If you know there is something she is particularly interested in, try to make that into a date. You might get by going with a more traditional date idea (e.g. going to the movies), but a smart girl will be really impressed if you can come up with something out of the ordinary.
- For example, if she is really interested in art, see if there are any art shows or museum exhibitions in your area that you could take her to.
- If she is really into classical music, look to see if there is a symphony in your area.
- When you ask her out, try showing her that you really thought about it. For example, say, “I know you’re a big fan of Van Gogh and I heard there is an exhibition at the museum this weekend. I’d love to take you if you’d like to go with me. Maybe we can grab some food afterward. What do you think?”
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Be gracious. Unfortunately, the hard truth is that you might get rejected. If you do, do your best to hide your disappointment. You will come off more confident and mature if you are able to say, “Oh, alright. Well, I understand. Have a nice a day!” than if you fly into a rage.^{[12]
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- If she says something like, “Oh, I have a boyfriend, I’m sorry” or “I’m not really interested in dating anyone right now,” you might feel tempted to backpedal and act like you weren’t actually asking her out. Don’t do this. It will only make you look insecure.
- Of course, she might also say, “yes.” This is great news, but you should still try to keep your cool. Don’t start jumping up and down for joy. Instead, smile and say, “That’s great! What time should I pick you up?” You don’t want to give her the impression that you were convinced she would say no, even if you were.
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Ask her if she wants to study together. If you think you’re not quite ready to go straight to asking her out, try suggesting doing something together that doesn’t sound like going out on a date. This will give you a chance to spend time together, but will take some of the pressure off because it won’t actually be a date.
- This will also give you a good chance to gauge her interest in you. When you are together, pay attention to the way she behaves. Is she behaving in a way that makes it seems as though she is interested? For example, is she making a lot of eye contact, laughing at everything you say, and casually touching your arm or your shoulder? If so, there is a good chance she is attracted to you.
- Asking to study for an important test together is a good way to hang out and do something productive without making it seem like it is a date.

Expert Q&A

Question

How can I get a smart girl to like me?

Cher Gopman
Dating Coach
Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.

Cher Gopman

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Just be yourself. Talk about things that you're passionate about and listen closely to her when she talks about things she likes to do. Then you can suggest a date based on the interests you share.

Warnings

Remember that you cannot force someone to like you. If you aren’t able to attract the smart girl you want, then just move on and keep being yourself. The only person you are in control of is yourself.

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