How to Attend Prom with a Same Sex Date

Last Updated: June 9, 2022

Attending any social event with a same-sex date can be difficult due to the fact that many people are still prejudiced against the LGBTQ+ community, especially when you are a teenager. However, there are certain tips which can ease the stress of going to prom with a same-sex date.

Steps

1
Talk to your date and ensure that they are comfortable attending prom with you. Some people may be anxious to reveal publicly that they are LGBTQ+, and you do not want your date to be unhappy.
2
If you have been dating for a long time and your relationship is publicly known, this may still be an issue. Don't assume that just because most people are aware of you, your partner is completely happy with the situation.

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3
Remember that some people may be homophobic, prejudiced, inconsiderate, or just plain rude. Not everyone is accepting, and some people may treat you badly because of your sexuality.
4
Learn some comebacks so that you can quickly respond to negativity towards you and your date. Keeping good humor around the negativity will make prejudiced people relax a little around you, as well as warding off any more inconsiderate comments.
5
Get support from friends. Let your other friends know, if you haven't already, that you are bringing a same-gender date and that you may need support throughout the night. This is especially if you are aware that some people are prejudiced.
6
Consider coming out beforehand. Coming out, or making others aware of your LGBTQ+ status may be a good thing to do before prom so that people who may have been rude or prejudiced otherwise would have time to prepare.
7
Keep in mind what prom is really about. Remember that prom is about having fun, remembering the good times and enjoying yourself as school comes to an end. If someone is being inconsiderate towards you and your date, remove them or yourself from the situation and carry on with your evening. You deserve a good night, and if people are spoiling it, you have the right to ignore them and keep them away from you.
8
Be aware of your rights as an LGBTQ+ citizen. In countries such as the UK, you can't be denied anything based solely on your sexual orientation. If, for example, a teacher or an organiser tells you that you and your date can't dance together, or can't have a photograph in a romantic context that heterosexual classmates have been allowed, tell them that you know your rights and you know that they can't deny you them just because you are LGBTQ+.
9
Have fun! After the first few minutes, it is likely that no one will care that your date is the same gender as you. If they do, it's their night that they are spoiling, not yours!

Community Q&A

Question

My parents are homophobic, and I want to ask my crush to go to prom with me, but I don't want my parents to know that I'm lesbian. What do I do?

Community Answer

You could say that the two of you are going as friends, or if you know a gay male couple (or even just a couple of nice guys without dates), you could ask them to go with the two of you as your "dates."
Question

What do you do if your school kicks you out of prom for doing this?

Jared Donnelly

Community Answer

Well, there are several things you could do. You could take legal action against the school or you could hold a protest with other students and parents.
Question

How do I take my date if my parents don't know we're dating and she needs a ride, but neither of us have our license?

Community Answer

You could ask a parent to drive you and just say you're going as friends because neither of you have a date, or the two of you could tag along with a larger group so it looks like everyone is just going together.

Warnings

If you feel uncomfortable with the way someone is treating you for your sexual orientation, remove yourself or them from the situation for a little while.

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Dating in the LGBTQ+ community can be more challenging than it is for other teenagers, as you'll you face some obstacles that heterosexual couples won't.^{[1]
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