10 Signs You Need a Break from Dating Apps (Plus How to Take a Break)

Co-authored by Maria Avgitidis and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: June 5, 2022 References

Have you been swiping through Tinder, Bumble, or another dating app and haven’t felt that romantic spark? While apps are an exciting way to connect and find a relationship, they can feel a little draining if you’re always putting yourself out there. Rather than tiring yourself out on the apps, take a short break to help you recharge and refocus your efforts. Keep reading for the most common signs of dating fatigue and the best ways to spend your time while you take your break.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Signs You Need a Break from Dating Apps

1
You’re checking for notifications repeatedly. Dating apps are like an addicting game that keep you coming back when you receive notifications. When you notice that you’re always looking at your phone in hopes that a potential date reached out, it might mean you’re hooked on the rush from the notifications without making a real connection.^{[1]
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- If you feel like you’re staying up late waiting for a message or swiping on matches, it could be another sign that you’re putting too much priority on dating apps.
2
You’re anxious when you don’t receive matches. While dating apps should feel fun and exciting, they can bring you down when you spend time perfecting your profile and still don’t get a match. If you get stressed just from opening the app or worrying about if your profile is “good” enough, then it may make you feel exhausted as you try to figure out what you can do better.^{[2]
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- Not getting matches may make you associate dating apps with disappointment.
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3
You’re swiping without engaging with anyone. Looking through potential matches can start feeling routine if it’s something you’re doing every day. If you catch yourself opening the app and swiping without reading profiles or chatting with the people you’ve matched with, it could mean that you’re just going through the motions but not making a connection.^{[3]
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4
You don’t feel like opening up with anyone you match with. Dating takes vulnerability so you can open up and get to know the other person on a deeper level. Scroll through the messages you’ve sent your matches to see if you’ve expressed how you’re feeling. If your messages are mostly small talk or the conversations don’t seem to go anywhere, then it’s a sign that you aren’t really invested in the relationships.^{[4]
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5
You aren’t having fun meeting new people. If you don't feel excited about chatting for the first time on the app or meeting up for your first date, you probably have dating fatigue. If you’d rather be doing something else but you feel obligated to chat or go out with a match, then you might just need a break from the apps you’re using.^{[5]
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- It’s normal to feel a little stressed when you’re chatting with or meeting someone new, but it will normally ease away as you get to know them better.
6
You feel emotionally drained. It might feel like it takes a lot of energy to laugh at a joke or recognize your match’s positive qualities because you’re burnt out from using apps. When you’d normally have an emotional response to a message, a tepid “meh” feeling might signal that you need to take some time off from dating.^{[6]
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- If you have trouble coming up with something to say when your match sends you witty banter, it’s another sign that you’re emotionally exhausted.
7
You have bad memories of online dating. Even if you’ve had amazing conversations or met someone you liked, those memories don’t stick out as much as the negative ones. Think back on your recent experiences on the app, and consider taking a break if the bad moments outweigh the good.^{[7]
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- This is especially true if you recently called it quits with someone on the app. If you’re still having negative feelings about the person, then it will affect how you interact with your future matches.
8
You complain to your friends about dating. Pay attention to how you talk about dating apps with your loved ones to see if you have a negative attitude towards them. Your friends may even mention that you’ve complained about meeting people or going out on dates. If the people close to you notice that you’re feeling down about your love life, it’s a wake-up call that you might be exhausted from the apps.^{[8]
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9
You take rejection personally. You meet a ton of people on dating apps, and it’s normal to match with people that aren’t right for you. If you always blame yourself or think things could have gone differently when a match moves on, it’s a sign that you need some time for yourself off the app.^{[9]
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10
You’re pessimistic about love and relationships. Does it feel like falling in love and meeting the right person is a waste of time? Or does it feel like you’re going on dates with a negative attitude right away? Then you may be exhausted from dating and need a break to figure out what you want from your life.^{[10]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Taking an Online Dating Cleanse

1
Pause or delete your profile on the dating apps. Many dating apps have a feature that lets you pause matches so you aren’t shown to new people. You’ll still have your profile and be able to talk to the people you already matched with, but you won’t have to worry about swiping or waiting for a message. If you want a more permanent solution, delete the app from your phone or get rid of your account.^{[11]
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- To delete Tinder, go into your profile settings and tap on “Delete Account.” To just put a pause on your matches, just tap “Pause My Account.”
- If you’re deleting Bumble, tap on the settings icon on your profile and tap “Delete” at the bottom of the page.
- If you paid for a subscription on a dating app, you may have to cancel it separately if you want to avoid the charge.
2
Focus on your hobbies and interests. Diving into something you love to do helps distract you from dating and helps you become a more interesting person to be with. Carve out some time in your schedule for yourself where you throw yourself fully into something you’ve always wanted to try so you can feel re-energized and take your mind off dating. Some easy things you can try include:^{[12]
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- Reading a book
- Going to a movie that you’ve been waiting to see
- Learning a new skill
- Getting involved in a club or organization
3
Spend time with your friends and family. Your loved ones want what’s best for you, so they’ll have honest opinions about your dating experiences and be there to support you. Hang out with the people you care about most and open up to them about how you’re feeling. They may be able to offer you some advice, but even just having them listen to you vent can help you work through how you’re feeling.^{[13]
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- If you just need a distraction from the dating world, plan a fun activity with your friends to take your mind off of it.
4
Consider what you’re looking for in a relationship. You may have felt a little fatigued because you were matching with the wrong people. List all of the important qualities that you’re looking for in a partner. When you eventually end your break and get back onto dating apps, you’ll be able to find people that align better with what you want and make more meaningful connections.^{[14]
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- Be a little flexible with what you’re looking for in a relationship since you might not find someone who checks all the boxes of things you want.^{[15]
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5
Try meeting people in person instead of on apps. If it’s tough keeping a conversation going over messages when you match with someone, then dating apps might not be for you. Try going out to your favorite hangouts or joining a hobby group to find potential dates. It might be easier for you to test your chemistry and make a connection in real life instead of virtually.^{[16]
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- If you eventually go back to a dating app, try to balance matching with new people and meeting others IRL so you have a better chance of finding someone you connect with.
6
Try coming back to dating apps after 3–4 weeks. After a month has passed by where you’ve focused on yourself, try redownloading the app and starting up your profile again. Give yourself a limit of only checking the app once or twice a day for a set amount of time so you don’t get fatigued from using it again.
- If you’re still feeling anxious using a dating app, try taking a longer break.