“Gen” on Grindr: What It Means, Avoiding Scams & More

Your guide to “gen” offers and Grindr’s community guidelines

Co-authored by Dan Hickey

Last Updated: March 20, 2023 References

"Gen" Meaning

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How to Use “Gen”

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Responding to “Gen” Offers

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Can you get banned for saying “gen?”

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Are all “gen seekers” on Grindr gay?

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Less Common Meanings

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Warnings

You’re browsing your potential next date options on Grindr when you notice the term “gen” pop up here and there. You might think it means “genuine” at first glance since Grindr is a dating app, but in the niche world of gay online dating, you can never be too sure what a slang word means. In this article, we’ll tell you exactly what “gen” means and how you’ll see it used, plus show you how to safely respond to “gen” messages and keep your personal information secure. Let’s get started!

Things You Should Know

“Gen” is short for “generous.” Grindr users use “gen” to show they’re interested in exchanging money for an interaction or relationship.
Say you’re “gen” or “looking for gen” in a private message if you’re interested in an individual, or list “gen” in your profile to attract like-minded users.
If you want to pursue a “gen” connection, get to know each other on the app or in a public spot before sharing personal info. If you’re uninterested, ignore the message.
Never send money, share financial and personal information, or click links from someone you don’t know.

Section 1 of 6:

“Gen” Meaning on Grindr

“Gen” is short for “generous” on Grindr (and other dating apps, too). “Gen” typically refers to someone who’s looking for or offering money in exchange for an interaction or relationship. The nature of the interaction could be sexual or just platonic, since there are users interested in companionship without a sexual component. You might see “gen,” “gen only,” “generous,” or even “generou$” (just to make it extra clear).^{[1]
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- “Hi, gen guy here looking for someone to treat to a nice dinner”
- “I’m looking for gen guys only”

Section 2 of 6:

How to Use “Gen”

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Use “gen” in private messages to let individuals know what you’re into. If you’re the generous one, send a message to someone whose profile you like. Make small talk for a bit to feel the person out, then mention that you’re “gen” to see if they're interested. If you’re the “gen” seeker, mention it sooner than later so you can quickly find out if that’s something the other person is into. On Grindr, it’s common to ask “What are you looking for?” to cut to the chase.^{[2]
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- “Hi there, how are you? Gen guy here looking for some company, no hook up”
- Person A: “Hey, what are you looking for on here?”
  Person B: “Gen guys only. Are you gen?”
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List “gen” in your profile so anyone can see what you’re looking for. If you’d rather not drop it into conversation, mention that you’re “gen” or “looking for gen” in your profile. This way, you’re more likely to only get messages from other users who are interested in that kind of connection. “Gen” situations are typically one-time affairs rather than a prolonged relationship where one personally financially supports the other.
- “Nice guy looking for casual dates, no strings attached. Can be gen for the right person”
- “Not looking for a long term relationship. Gen guys to the front of the line!”

Section 3 of 6:

Responding to “Gen” Offers & Messages Safely

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Establish trust before sending personal info if you’re interested. Unfortunately, when money is involved, so are scammers, bots, or phishing schemes. Wait to share things like your phone number, social media handles, or Venmo account until you feel confident you’re talking to a real person with good intentions. Scammers can use any bit of information to harass you or even use your messages or photos to blackmail you for money.^{[3]
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- Chat with the person on Grindr to get to know them, or ask to meet in a public place if you’re comfortable with that. Say something like, “I’m interested in your offer, but am uncomfortable sending or receiving money from a stranger. Maybe we can meet for coffee and get to know each other first?”
- The way the money is exchanged varies. It’s common for the “gen” person to give cash or make a payment through an app like Venmo upfront when you meet, but the exact terms depend on what both people prefer and agree to.
- If you meet and the other person isn’t following through on their part of the agreement or they seem threatening in any way, walk away from the interaction.
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Ignore spam messages asking for money or to connect on other apps. “Gen” accounts may offer you suspiciously large amounts of money upfront or want to connect on other apps like WhatsApp or Telegram right away. Ignore these messages—they may be from a bot or part of a phishing scam, or from a person trying to manipulate you into sharing financial information that can be hacked or exploited. Never click on any links sent to you from a stranger or send money to people you don’t know.^{[4]
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- Spam messages might look like:
  - “Hello I'll cater for your needs as your sugar daddy text me on telegram now if you are interested”
  - “wow u look cute & interesting I Will like to have u as my baby u Will be paid $10000 if u accept to be my baby add me up on WhatsApp”
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Decline the offer politely or ignore the message if you’re not interested. If you want no part of a “gen” deal, just let the person know with a quick “Sorry, not interested.” If the user continues harassing you, ignore their messages, block them, or report them to Grindr if they become threatening. If you must interact, be polite—you never know what someone’s circumstances are (they might be very lonely or financially desperate), and it’s not worth your time and energy to engage in a rude or judgmental conversation.^{[5]
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Section 4 of 6:

Can you get banned for saying “gen?”

Using “gen” is OK, but outright solicitation violates Grindr’s terms of use. “Gen” is a vague, slang term that users send to get around Grindr’s community guidelines, which prohibit “Venmo or PayPal links, sugar daddy/baby arrangements, and Amazon or other wishlist links” (among other offers). In other words, users can report each other for making explicit financial offers, but just saying “gen” alone isn’t enough to get a user suspended or banned.^{[6]
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- For example, a blunt message like “I’ll give you $45 if you join me for lunch” is solicitation. A more discreet message like “I’m a gen guy looking for lunch dates” is not, however.

Section 5 of 6:

Are all “gen seekers” on Grindr gay?

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Someone of any sexual orientation can look for “gen” users on Grindr. Although Grindr caters overwhelmingly to gay, queer, and bisexual men, there are some male users who identify as straight. They might be curious about or questioning their sexuality, interested in experiencing a gay hookup out of curiosity, or simply looking for wealthy “gen” partners for money. Men in this last category are known crudely as being “gay for pay.”^{[7]
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“Gen” relationships or hookups are part of straight dating apps, too. There are plenty of straight, financially stable men and women (called “sugar daddies” or “sugar mamas”) who enjoy or are willing to pay for companionship or intimacy (usually with younger, less wealthy men or women called “sugar babies”). The term “gen” might be more common on gay apps like Grindr, but the idea is not limited to just gay men or queer people.^{[8]
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- In fact, there are many dating apps—both gay and straight—designed specifically to facilitate “sugar daddy” or “sugar mama” connections.

Section 6 of 6:

Less Common Meanings of “Gen” Online

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“Gen” might refer to someone who’s not gay, but this is a rare usage. Occasionally, “gen” (as in “general population”) might pop up as a way to describe someone who’s not gay or queer, or who hasn’t come out of the closet yet. This isn’t super common though, and the words “straight,” “hetero,” “closeted,” or simply “not gay” are more popular and universally understood.
- Person A: “Is he gay?”
  Person B: “Nah, he’s gen.”
- Person A: “Are you two dating?”
  Person B: “No haha, she’s gen.”
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“Gen” describes fanfiction without any romantic or sexual relationships. In this case, “gen” is short for “general audiences” and refers to a genre of fanfiction that doesn’t include any romantic or sexual interactions (gay, straight, or otherwise). The exact depth of this varies—some people think “gen” just means there’s no sexual acts or “smut,” while others say it means there’s no hint of relationships at all.^{[9]
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- “Her fanfiction writing is gen, so it’s OK for younger readers.”
- “Finally, some good gen stories!”
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On TikTok and other social media, “gen” is short for “genuine.” In this case, “/gen” is added at the end of a comment or post as a tone indicator. It lets the reader know that the previous statement is genuine, heartfelt, or true as opposed to sarcastic, rhetorical, or a joke.^{[10]
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- “You’re so amazing! Wishing you the best /gen”
- “Wait, I’m confused. Can someone explain what this video means? /gen”

Warnings

Never send or accept money from someone you don’t know online, and avoid clicking links that are sent to you by strangers (even if there is a “promise” of money).

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Recognize that meeting a stranger from the internet—whether it’s for a platonic date or a sexual interaction—can be risky. Always meet in public first to get to know the person and feel out their intentions.

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If a user is leveraging personal information or revealing photos against you for money, cease contact immediately and make copies of all chats and exchanges between you. Report the user to Grindr and contact local law enforcement. Do not give in to what the extorter wants or give them any money.^{[11]
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