How to Use Humor to Release Anger

Co-authored by William Gardner, PsyD

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

Sometimes the best way to deal with anger is to find humor in the situation, but it’s not always easy to laugh things off when you’re feeling really upset. Don’t worry—by learning how to recognize the early signs of anger, you can practice using humor to defuse tense situations before they spiral out of control. We’ve put together some tips to help you get started so the next time you feel yourself getting upset, you can have a good laugh instead.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Developing Your Sense of Humor

1
Practice laughing. It may sound silly, but some people aren't used to laughing and it will be difficult to use humor to release anger if you don't feel comfortable laughing. So be silly and take some time to practice the act of laughing.^{[1]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Start by smiling. Even if it is a forced smile, it's the first step in laughing and developing your sense of humor.
- Say “ha” to get your laugh going. Start with one, then two, and keep increasing your 'ha's' until you are laughing.
- For instance, you would say, “Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha.” After a few ha's you'll at least be laughing at how silly you sound.
2
Keep funny things with you. You can develop your sense of humor by surrounding yourself with things that make you laugh, or at least smile.^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} It doesn't have to be anything large, but it should be something that lightens your mood as soon as you see it.
- Save a humorous meme on your phone or electronic device. Or take a gag selfie and use it as your wallpaper.
- Keep something comical like a bobbling figure on your desk at work or buy a funny keychain.
- Put a sticky note with a funny saying or joke in your locker at school so that you can see on a regular basis.
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3
Do something you enjoy. It will be much easier for you to develop your humor if you are doing something you like to do. Doing things you enjoy will relax you, lighten your mood, and put a smile on your face. Take some time out to have fun so that when you need to release anger with humor you'll be able to do it.
- Go to an amusement park or even go to a playground and swing and slide. You're never too old to play.
- Watch your favorite sitcom or cartoon on TV, catch the latest comedy to hit the big screen, or attend a comedy show.
- Get some physical activity. Going for a walk or hitting the gym can relax you. When you are relaxed it's easier for you to have a sense of humor.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  William Gardner, PsyD
  Clinical Psychologist
  Expert Interview. 26 March 2021.}
4
Spend time with people that make you happy. Just like doing something you enjoy, spending time with people that put a smile on your face can help you develop your sense of humor.^{[4]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} They can show you how to lighten up as well as give you examples of how to use humor to release anger.
- Accept the invitation if your friends or family members invite you somewhere. You might just have enough fun to make you laugh.
- You don't have to do anything in particular. Just sitting and talking can bring a smile to your face and help you laugh.
- Spend time with some children. Whether it's something they say or something they do, kids are great for helping you develop your sense of humor.
5
Try laughter yoga. This form of yoga is different from traditional yoga. Instead of doing downward facing dog or child pose, you focus on breathing, fun movements and visualizations, and laughing.^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} You get the benefits of physical activity, plus you learn strategies to use laughter to calm yourself down.
- Attend a laughter yoga or group laughter session in your community. Practice the exercises at home to develop your sense of humor even more.
- Ask a friend to go with you. That way you can practice together outside of class.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Recognizing Anger When It Arises

1
Be mindful. Mindfulness techniques help you focus on the present moment and how you are feeling in it. It helps you be aware of your emotions which means you will be able to recognize when you are starting to get angry.^{[6]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source} If you can recognize it then you will be able to use humor to release it. However, make sure that you are not suppressing your anger with laughter because this may lead to problems later on. Be mindful of all of your emotions and allow yourself to feel them.
- Focus your senses on what you are experiencing the present moment. Pay attention to what you see, taste, smell, feel, and hear.
- Center your thoughts on what you are doing right then. Think about what is happening and how you feel about it.
- Pay attention to your body. For example, does anything hurt or feel tense? Does anything feel relaxed?
2
Identify physical signs of anger. Your physical reactions can help you to identify when you are feeling angry. This is important since ongoing anger can lead to severe health problems, such as ulcers, slow wound healing, heart attack, and stroke. Some physical signs of anger include:^{[7]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source}
- Heavy or fast breathing.
- Sweating.
- Flushing.
- Increased blood flow to muscles.
3
Pay attention to others. If you are aware of how the people around you are feeling, you will know when tension is rising. You will also be able to tell if using humor is the right way to try to decrease the anger the people around you are feeling.
- Listen to what people are saying when they are talking to you. Their words will either let you know directly how they feel or give you clues.
- For instance, if you are with your sister and she says, “I'm so mad right now”, that's a direct sign that she's angry.
- Look for hints in their body language. Does their body seem tense? Are they pacing?
- For example, if you walk in and see your friend with his jaw tense and fists balled it may be a sign that he's angry.
4
Determine the level of anger. Depending on the level of anger you or the other person is feeling, humor may or may not help diffuse the situation. Determine whether it's a low level of anger or if it's out of control.^{[8]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- If the situation has the potential for anger, but it's not there yet, you can likely use humor to release it.
- For instance, if you know you are about to confront your friend because of something they did, then try visualizing something funny to lighten your mood.
- If you are the other person is mildly angry, you can still attempt to use humor.
- For example, if you can tell that your dad is starting to get frustrated then try cracking a small joke.
- If you are extremely angry, then humor may not help right then. Also seek anger management classes if you're extremely angry.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Using Humor Appropriately

1
Laugh at yourself. Humor can be a powerful tool to help you gain perspective on a situation.^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists
Go to source} Whether you are by yourself or with others, making a joke at your own expense is one way you can use humor to release anger. It can help relieve the tension of others and actually reduce your stress level, too.^{[10]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- It's always a good idea not to take yourself too seriously. Being able to laugh at yourself will help you avoid anxiety and anger.
- For example, if you accidentally bump into a co-worker and make them spill their coffee, you could use humor to keep them from getting angry.
- You might say something like, “If I was any clumsier I would be one of the Seven Dwarfs!”
2
Joke about the situation. Don't try to use humor to release anger by making fun of someone else.^{[11]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source} It's okay to find humor in the situation. It's not okay to say things that can hurt someone's feelings, even if it is true or funny. Joking about someone can make the situation worse.
- If the other person is already angry (or getting there), then making fun of them will probably make them angrier.
- For example, calling your cousin “Dumbo ears” when she's already getting upset will most likely start an argument.
- Joking about the situation can help you (and other people) see the situation from a different perspective.
- For instance, try helping your colleagues see the humor in your three hour 'efficiency' meeting at work.
3
Be sensitive. Some jokes or forms of humor may be funny to you, but inappropriate to others. Before you use humor to release anger, make sure that what you are saying won't offend anyone. You should also consider the context of the situation. It may be okay to use humor in the situation, but make sure it is tasteful.^{[12]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.
Go to source}
- Avoid jokes about race, sexuality, religion, and politics. These areas can be very sensitive for some people.
- Joking about death, tragedy, or trauma should be done with caution.
- For example, making a joke about the grim reaper when your siblings are arguing at your dad's funeral, isn't very sensitive.

Expert Q&A

Question

Does laughing actually help with an overwhelming sense of anger?

William Gardner, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
William Gardner, Psy.D. is a Clinical Psychologist in private practice located in San Francisco, CA’s financial district. With over 10 years of clinical experience, Dr. Gardner provides individually tailored psychotherapy for adults using cognitive behavioral techniques, to reduce symptoms and improve overall functioning. Dr. Gardner earned his PsyD from Stanford University in 2009, specializing in evidence-based practices. He then completed a post-doc fellowship at Kaiser Permanente.

William Gardner, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

It can. I certainly use humor all of the time in therapy. It has a way of disarming whatever negative energy you've got building up. There aren't necessarily a ton of studies out there on this, but on an anecdotal level, it would appear that humor and laughing are definitely helpful.