How to Urinate Outside Discreetly

In certain situations, you might be faced with no other choice than to pee outside. Perhaps you are stuck in a traffic jam on a crowded highway and are miles away from the closest bathroom. Or maybe you are in the middle of a long hike when nature calls. When the need arises, there are steps you can take to maintain decency and common sense.

Part 1
Part 1 of 3:

Urinating in Public

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    Select an empty location. If you have been drinking heavily in a bar or club, you might be tempted to urinate on the nearest sidewalk or on the side wall of the bar. But you can be arrested and charged with a misdemeanor for doing this in all 50 states. That is why it is imperative you pick a quiet, isolated space to pee in which you won't be seen.
    • If you are a girl, there is no quick and convenient way to urinate outside, especially if you are wearing pants. If you are wearing a skirt, you can try taking off your underwear before you squat. You can also try pulling your underwear to the side of your urethra, although it still might get soiled.
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    Pee in the dark. If you are out at night, you might be tempted to pee against a street lamp, but this will only make it easier for a police officer to spot you. Instead, pick a dark, shadowy alley or an unlit park.
    • If you are out with friends, make sure they know you are going into a dark spot to pee. They can make sure you are safe from a distance.
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    Pee on grass. Peeing against a brick wall or on a concrete sidewalk will sound louder than if you pee onto dirt or grass. If you are near a local park or a dirt road, then you should try to pee here as it is less likely that someone will hear you.
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    Pee in the woods. If you are stuck in a traffic jam, try to find a wooded area near the highway where you can relieve yourself away from the sight of other drivers.
    • Please note that peeing in the woods does not harm the environment and can be condoned in certain circumstances as long as common sense is used. In rare cases (particularly for males), you may actually be instructed to do this and that is not automatically a bad thing.
    • If you are hiking or camping, select a spot that is within an easy walk of your tent or fellow hikers, but that is not within easy sight. Pee behind a tree, away from anyone else on the path or at the site.
    • If you are stuck on the road and there are no trees to conceal you, get out of the car and open the driver's door and the passenger door behind it. This will block the view of the other cars from you while you pee. If there are cars in the lane next to you, turn away from them and pee toward your car.
    • If you have to squat, try to get a fellow passenger to hold up a blanket or towel to hide you. If you are alone and/or do not have anything to hide you, find a secluded area.
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    Avoid peeing anywhere near children. Do not pee near a school, playground or other location with children. This can have serious legal consequences (as discussed below). You could also face the wrath of an irate parent, who will not hesitate to call the police on you.
    • Understand the consequences of being a sex offender. In 12 states, public urination could require you to register on a public sex offender list.[1]
    • Registering on a sex offender list could cost you everything from your job to your ability to live in a city (most sex offenders cannot live between 500 and 2,500 feet of schools, parks, day cares of school bus stops).
    • You may also be prohibited from attending any events with children, such as Little League games or school performances. While you might not care about this as a drunken undergrad, you will probably deeply regret never being able to attend your future child's football games or Christmas concerts.
    • In many states, peeing in public is labelled as "public indecency." Under this categorization, offenders are labelled as flashers.
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    Do not pee on public transportation. These spaces are technically "public," and you could get arrested and fined for any damage you may cause to a train, bus, or subway. Other people are also highly likely to see you here and possibly turn you in.
    • Most of these locations also have video surveillance; while you might think no one can see you, you are probably being monitored from a distance.
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    Keep antibacterial hand sanitizer with you. After you pee, apply a hand sanitizer (you can find travel sizes in most drug stores) or an antibacterial wipe to clean your hands. Wash your hands in the nearest washroom you come across.
Part 2
Part 2 of 3:

Urinating while Homeless

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    Look for a public restroom. If at all possible, try to find a place to rest near a public restroom. These can often be found in parks, national monuments and historical sites, civic centers, libraries, bus or train stations, or public plazas.[2] .
    • If you cannot find a public restroom, try to follow some of the tips above. Pee in a quiet, isolated space where you are unlikely to be heard or disturb anyone.
    • If you cannot afford rent, but have some money saved up, try to buy a membership at a local gym or health center. A year's membership often costs less than a full month's rent and it will give you access to a shower, a locker room and a bathroom while it is open.
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    Break the law out of necessity. Being homeless means you often have no choice but to break the law and urinate publicly. If you are fined or ticketed for this action, try to defend yourself legally by describing the necessity of your actions.
    • You may be required to appear in court if you cannot pay a fine or if you are charged with a more serious misdemeanor. If you have a court-appointed attorney to defend you, they must be able to prove that you had a reasonable and good faith necessity for the crime.[3]
    • Research legal resources or lawyers who do pro-bono work for homeless people in your area. Many lawyers and legal advocates for the homeless can help clear charges for low-level misdemeanors like public urination.
    • Some cities, such as Los Angeles, have offered deals in which minor crimes can be erased from a homeless person's record if that person agrees to accept certain services, such as job training or addiction treatment programs.[4]
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    Look for resources. If you have access to a computer at your public library, you can look up resources available for the homeless in your city and state. The Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) provides a state by state guide here: https://www.hudexchange.info/homelessness-assistance/.
    • Your city or state may offer resources such as shelters, grant programs to help you move into an apartment, job training programs, mental health services, etc.[5]
Part 3
Part 3 of 3:

Avoiding Public Urination

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    Do not urinate publicly if you are bar hopping. If you're heading to a new bar, just use the bathroom once you arrive there.
    • You can also generally use the restrooms in fast food restaurants and gas stations without having to buy anything there.
    • Areas with crowded bars and club will generally be filled with police.
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    Plan frequent bathroom stops depending on your needs. If you are on a long car ride, plan to stop every 2-3 hours to use the bathroom. Check your map to make sure you have nearby towns or cities where you can stop to use the bathroom.
    • If you are enjoying a long night out with friends, be sure to use the bathroom before you leave the bar or restaurant you are at.
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    Respect the city and cultural norms of your surroundings. If you are in a foreign country, do not pee in public. Local inhabitants will not see it as just a moment of weakness on your part. Instead, they will see it as an act of disrespect from you and a broader reflection of your country.
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    Do not pee in public as a dare from your friends. It is not worth risking the consequences.
    • Similarly, do not think that just because your friends have peed in public with no consequences that you will also go unpunished.

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References

  1. ↑ https://www.nsopw.gov/en-US/Home/Faq#answer-06
  2. ↑ http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/sex-crimes/public-urination-law-penalty.htm
  3. ↑ http://www.criminaldefenselawyer.com/resources/criminal-defense/sex-crimes/public-urination-law-penalty.htm
  4. ↑ http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-councilman-announces-program-to-assist-homeless-with-citations-20150726-story.html
  5. ↑ https://www.hudexchange.info/grantees/?granteesaction=main.searchresults&searchText=&stateId=GA&programId=3&programid=6&viewCoC=1

About This Article

wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 60 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 472,856 times.
472 votes - 63%
Co-authors: 60
Updated: July 28, 2022
Views: 472,856
Categories: Discreet Bodily Etiquette | Urination
Article SummaryX

To urinate outside discreetly, find a quiet, isolated space, like behind a wall or bush. If you can, find a dark place away from street lights where you won’t be noticed as easily. Try to find a soft surface to pee on, like dirt or grass, which will sound quieter than peeing on concrete or brick. If you’re stuck in traffic, try to find a wooded area near the highway, or have a friend hold up a blanket or towel for some privacy. Avoid peeing anywhere near children or on public transportation, as this can have serious legal consequences. For tips on urinating publicly as a homeless person, like how to defend yourself legally if you are fined, keep reading!

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