How to Understand Scorpio Men

Co-authored by Angel Eyedealism and Caroline Heiderscheit

Last Updated: March 17, 2023 References Approved

Scorpio men, born between Oct 23rd and Nov 21st, are creative, complex, and totally committed. When you're dating a Scorpio man, he may seem like an unsolvable mystery. And yes, Scorpios are a tough nut to crack. But like all signs, they're easy to figure out when you have the right intel. We're giving you all the info you need. From his behaviors in love to his favorite things in bed, read on to learn how to understand a Scorpio man.

Things You Should Know

As water signs, Scorpios are deeply passionate, empathetic, and sensitive.
When a Scorpio man is into you, he will be intensely focused on you, ask deep questions, and seem to be omnipresent.
In a relationship, Scorpios want to go deep. They value things like shared creative pursuits and deep intimate conversation with their partner.

Section 1 of 7:

Scorpio Overview

Scorpios are ruled by Pluto—which makes them deep, complicated characters. They balance super emotional instincts with a bold, uncompromising nature.^{[1]
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Research source} Scorpios follow their hearts like a north star, and they never doubt where that guiding light leads them. They’re creative, secretive, passionate, mysterious, and a sometimes, unforgiving—but no one will love you as intensely as a Scorpio.^{[2]
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- Scorpios are water signs, so they're inherently sensitive, feeling, and empathetic.
- They're fixed signs, too; that means they're self-assured, energetic, and a little inflexible.
- Scorpios are also ruled by Mars. This can make them a bit competitive (read: power hungry).

Section 2 of 7:

Love & Relationships

1
In love, there's no sign as devoted as Scorpio. If you wiggle your way into a Scorpio’s heart, you’ve got a knight in shining armor for the ages. He’ll defend you till the end, always be there when you need it, and stick around, even when times get tough. He expects the same loyalty in his partners, so do your best not to drop the ball.^{[3]
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- Show him that you’re the definition of faithful. Never flirt to make a Scorpio jealous. It'll probably work too well, and he make kick you to the curb in retaliation.
- Be there when he succeeds—and when he fails. If you can prove that you’re a real ride or die, you’ll have his heart forever.
- If someone talks behind his back, defend your Scorpio crush. When word gets back to him, he'll be impressed.
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Intense and passionate, Scorpios create life-changing romance. Expect dream dates, serenades, and days spent in bed. He’s going to make sure you feel seen and adored, and when it comes to your relationship, he won’t settle for “simple.” Scorpios are known for being totally magnetic, too; so when you spend time with him, you'll definitely feel sparks.^{[4]
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- Scorpio will remember tiny details about you, and then bring them up later in sweet, thoughtful ways (like with a gorgeous gift that’s totally perfect for you!).
- He isn't afraid to say exactly how much he cares. Nothing gets watered down—Scorpio will tell you your eyes shine like the sea if that’s what he really thinks.
- Scorpio will want nothing more than to spend 24/7 with their love. You’ll feel like you two share your own special planet.
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Scorpio is an extremely sensitive sign—so be careful with your words. With all of his emotional intelligence and vulnerability, Scorpio is super tuned in to his feelings (which makes him great for heart to hearts!). But on the flip side, when some guys might brush something off as NBD, Scorpio could end up feeling seriously hurt. Even the smallest things, like a little constructive criticism, can cause major rifts in a Scorpio's relationship.
- He’ll still want to know that he can trust you to be honest. But if you have something tough to share, make sure you sugarcoat it for him.
- Offer him tons of reassurance when he needs it. Remind him that you still think he’s the best—even if you need a night away for yourself.
- On the plus side, his sensitivity makes him an amazing confidant and source of comfort. When you’re struggling with something, he’ll probably know exactly what to say.
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In love, Scorpio might be a little too comfortable with mind games. He's extremely quick, strategic, and empathetic—he may understand others' feelings better than they do themselves. But because he's so untrusting, Scorpio may not always use his powers for good. To get a sense of his partner's true loyalties, he may resort to "testing" them.
- A Scorpio might tell you a secret just to see whether you let it slip. Assume that everything he shares with you is totally classified.
- A Scorpio might not text you for a couple days just to see how much you really care. When he finally reaches out make sure he knows that you're still into him.

Section 3 of 7:

Sex

Scorpio has rep for being godlike between the sheets. This water sign is the definition of open, creative, and all-knowing during intimacy; they’ll understand exactly how to touch you and when. If there’s something you want to try, you better believe Scorpio's willing to play ball. Expect your hookups to be passionate, emotional, and most of all, completely mind-blowing.^{[5]
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- Don’t stress about impressing a Scorpio during sex. He’ll know how to take the reins and make it a great experience for both of you.
- Though, he will appreciate it if you’re willing to try new things. He’s all about experimentation, and if you are too, he'll find that attractive.
- Scorpio would also love a partner who’s willing to be a little emotionally vulnerable. He'll definitely want some sweet nothings thrown into the mix.

Section 4 of 7:

Compatibility

Scorpio’s soulmate is committed, deep, and totally dreamy. If you're willing to stay up late swapping secrets and staring longingly into his eyes, you'll earn points with a Scorpio. He values independence, but he'll also want you two to be completely obsessed with each other. So, having a passionate nature is a must. Most of all though, he needs someone he can really trust.^{[6]
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- Your birth chart's sun sign doesn't tell you the whole story. If your sun sign isn’t technically aligned with Scorpio, don’t stress. Think of your compatibility in terms of your personal qualities instead; are you intense, faithful, and sensitive?
- That being said, Scorpio will usually pair well with Pisces, Cancer, Capricorn, and Taurus.
- It's more common that he'd struggle in relationships with Sagittarius, Gemini, Aries, and Libra.

Section 5 of 7:

Signs a Scorpio Guy Likes You

A Scorpio with a crush will be subtly (but intensely) focused on you. When you two are at the same party, he may not dance on a tabletop to get your attention, but he will stare deeply into your eyes from across the room. He may not lay it on thick with flattery, but he'll offer you the most meaningful compliment in his book—a deep interest in who you are and what makes you tick.^{[7]
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- When you two chat, he'll have open body language, a soft smile, and a piercing gaze.
- He'll ask you tons of personal questions: "So tell me. What was your childhood like?"
- He won't follow you around like a puppy, but he'll always seem to be right where you are. Scorpio is super sharp and intentional—he won't make it obvious, but he's sticking by your side for a reason.

Section 6 of 7:

His Perfect Date

Intensity, passion, and romance are a must for Scorpio's dream date. A trip to the movies definitely won't do, because he'll want you locked into a deep conversation.^{[8]
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Research source} Instead, create an air of mystery, over-the-top romance, and most of all, emotional vulnerability. Try out these perfect dates ideas for a Scorpio:
- Take him stargazing. He loves all things dark and otherworldly, and laying beside you in the dark, he’ll feel totally connected.
- A romantic, candlelit dinner. The bigger you go, the better. Bring nice champagne, dress up, scatter rose petals—if he feels special, he’ll be thrilled.
- Bring him to an artsy event that you two can discuss in depth (poetry readings, concerts, art shows, oh my!). If you're dating, why not perform some love poetry yourself?
- Try the 36 questions that lead to love. Scorpio loves romance, but it doesn't need to be all frills.

Section 7 of 7:

His Perfect Gift

Scorpio's dream gift is romantic, creative, and maybe a little weird. With this water sign, you really don't have to worry about getting too far outside of the box, because he won't judge. Just as long as your gift says, "I put in effort and I care about you," he'll be on cloud 9. Show him that you'd do anything for him by putting a ton of effort into your present. Try out these perfect ideas below:^{[9]
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- Create a work of art in his honor. Make a song, a short story, a poem, a painting—whatever medium suits your skillset!
- Plan a weekend away, just the two of you. Nothing sounds better to a Scorpio than tons of one-on-one time with his love—so give him the gift of you!
- Throw him a secret birthday bash. It'll be tough to pull off, but if you manage to take him by surprise, you'll blow his mind. Plus, your effort will show how much you care!

Community Q&A

Question

What can you do to make a Scorpio guy be happy with you?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Share a secret that you haven't told to anyone else. He'll love that you trust him enough to be super vulnerable!
Question

How do I get a Scorpio man to notice me If I'm an Aries and he's older?

wikiHow Staff Editor
Staff Answer
This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

wikiHow Staff Editor

Staff Answer

Scorpios are attracted to Aries because of their passionate nature. You probably care a ton about your personal goals and your loved ones; show Scorpio this side of you! He'll find those qualities totally amazing.
Question

Which type of person is a perfect match for a Scorpio?

Community Answer

It's important to be loyal to the hilt and never betray your Scorpio man. This includes backing him publicly even if you know he is wrong (sort it out later). Never put him down in front of others and always be ready to tell people how great he is. He will also expect you to be independent and not clingy, so have your own interests to pursue, as long as you're not seeing other people though as he can be very jealous.