How to Throw a Surprise Baby Shower

Co-authored by Natasha Miller

Last Updated: September 15, 2021

A surprise baby shower can be a really fun and special celebration for a mom-to-be. There are definitely a few things you’ll want to keep in mind when planning one to make sure everything goes smoothly though. Pregnancy can be stressful and overwhelming, and you don’t want the mom-to-be to feel bombarded. Don’t worry though—we’ve put together tips for throwing a wonderful surprise baby shower and ensuring that everyone has a great time.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Choosing a Date, Time, and Location

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Make sure the mom-to-be would like the surprise. Surprise baby showers aren’t for everyone, as pregnancy can be stressful and overwhelming without the added surprise of a party that they didn’t know about. Try to make sure the guest of honor would truly want and like the surprise party before starting to plan it by asking close friends or family member's if the guest of honor would enjoy it.^{[1]
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- Try to ask the guest of honor's spouse or close friend if she would like a surprise baby shower in person as opposed to over text or email so the guest of honor is less likely to find out.
- If you want to keep it a surprise but also want the mom-to-be to feel prepared, consider telling them about the baby shower the day that it’s happening. This way it’s still a surprise, but they can get dressed and ready knowing they’ll be around lots of people.
EXPERT TIP

Natasha Miller
Professional Event Planner
Natasha Miller is an Event Planner, Chief Experience Designer, and President of Entire Productions, an event and entertainment production company based in San Francisco, California. Notable clients Natasha has collaborated with include Apple, Google, Gap, Louis Vuitton, Tiffany & Co., and Salesforce. Natasha and Entire Productions has been awarded Inc. 5,000's "Fastest Growing Companies in America", Entrepreneur Magazine's 360 List of "Best Entrepreneurial Companies in America." Entire Productions is also a Certified Women Business Enterprise. Natasha is a member of Meeting Professionals International (MPI).

Natasha Miller
Professional Event Planner

Our Expert Agrees: Before you throw a surprise baby shower, make sure the mother-to-be wants that kind of attention at that stage of their pregnancy. If she's having any kind of struggles or complications, she might feel bombarded by a celebration.
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Choose a baby shower date 1-2 months before her due date. While you can always have the baby shower after the baby is born, it's always nice for the mother-to-be to have the gifts and supplies before the baby comes so that she's well-prepared. Pick a date 1-2 months before the due date so the mom will get to enjoy the shower even if the baby comes super early.^{[2]
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- Choose 2 or 3 possible dates just in case one of them doesn't work with the guest of honor.
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Make sure the guest of honor is free on the date you have in mind. Once you’ve chosen a date or two that you think will work, you can either figure out a clever way to ask the guest of honor if they’re free on that date, or you can get someone to help you figure it out. Making plans with the guest of honor yourself is also a great way to ensure they'll be available.^{[3]
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- Ask the spouse or a close friend of the guest of honor to help you figure out if the mom-to-be is free on the date.
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Decide where you’ll host the baby shower. It’s best to choose a location that you can easily access before the shower so that you have plenty of time to set up. You should also take into consideration where the mom-to-be would enjoy celebrating, as well as a venue that will hold the amount of people you’re hoping to invite.^{[4]
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- For example, hosting the shower at the guest of honor’s house will make it hard for you to keep it a surprise and you won’t have much time to set up.
- Consider locations such as restaurants, outdoor areas, or homes of friends or family members.
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Have the guest of honor create a list of possible gifts. This will help the guests buy gifts that the mom-to-be truly needs. Ask the guest of honor to list some things she needs before the baby comes and then create the registry for her, if desired. This way, the mom-to-be won't find out about the shower.^{[5]
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- If you don't want to create a registry, you can give guests a list of ideas for gifts to buy and encourage them to put the gift receipt with it just in case there are duplicates.
- Encourage the guest of honor to add necessary items to the list, such as diapers, clothing, bottles, or safety gear, as well as items that cost a range of prices.
- It's helpful to include the information for the registry on the invitations.
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Plan how you’ll get the guest of honor to the party. If you’ve already told the guest of honor that you’ll be spending time with them that day, then you can easily pick them up or have them meet you at the venue. Otherwise, you’ll need to create a plan for the mom-to-be to arrive at the location without giving the surprise away.
- For example, ask the spouse to tell the guest of honor that they’re going out to lunch, or ask a friend to create plans with the guest of honor.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Arranging Guest Lists, Invitations, and RSVPs

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Create a guest list so you know who to invite. When making the guest list, think about who the guest of honor would want at their baby shower. You can invite as many or as little people as you’d like, including only women, all family members, close friends, or coworkers.
- For example, if you want to keep the baby shower small, consider just inviting family members that live in the area.
- Invite only the guest of honor's work friends for a work baby shower, or throw a huge party and invite all of their friends and family members.
- Ask the guest of honor's spouse or close friend to help you gather the necessary addresses for each guest.
2
Clarify on the invitation that the party is a surprise. While the invitation should clearly state that the baby shower is a surprise in the wording, there are also other ways to make it stand out. Put wording on the invitation in a bold color that says, “It’s a surprise!” or add a picture of a baby holding his finger to his lips in a shush motion.
- Making sure that the guests know the baby shower is a surprise will help ensure the guest of honor doesn't find out.
3
Direct the RSVPs to you so that the guest of honor isn't notified. Instead of putting the guest of honor's information on the invitation, put your own so that the guests RSVP to you. This will let you know how many people you'll need to prepare for and will allow you to answer any questions that the guests have.
- Remind the guests not to tell the guest of honor if they call to RSVP or ask questions about the event.
- Put your name, email address, and phone number on the invitation so the guests can RSVP to you.
4
Send out invitations about 6 weeks before the shower. This gives people plenty of time to RSVP and put the date on their calendars. If you want to make sure the guest of honor doesn’t see the invitations, opt for evites that are sent through email. Make sure you say that the baby shower is a surprise along with the rest of the details.^{[6]
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- Include the date, time, and location on the invitation, as well as any other important information such as where to find the gift registry, what to wear, or when to RSVP by.
- You can find lots of evite options online that come in different themes.
- If the baby's gender has been revealed, it's a good idea to include this on the invitation so that the guests know what kind of gifts to buy.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Planning Decorations and Activities

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Choose a theme or color scheme for the party. Themes can help tie the entire baby shower together, giving you an opportunity to choose food, decorations, and games that all relate to one another. If you know the sex of the baby, you can pick out a theme relating to this, or you can go for a neutral theme such as a tiki luau, zoo animals, the circus, or the alphabet.^{[7]
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- You might choose a princess theme for a girl or a sports theme for a boy.
- If you wanted a beach theme, you could put up streamers in shades of blue to recreate the ocean, have a cake that looks like a sand castle, and put the party favors in little beach buckets.
- You can also opt for a color theme, such as gray, yellow, green, or purple.
2
Plan the menu for the party. You’ll want to pick out food for the guests to eat, along with a cake and drinks (both non-alcoholic and alcoholic, if desired). Choose foods that make sense for the time of day the party will be happening, and feel free to get creative to make the foods fit with the theme you’ve chosen.^{[8]
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- Pick out foods the guest of honor likes or has been craving, and plan to buy enough to feed all of your guests.
- If you’re having the party at 11 in the morning, you might have brunch foods such as eggs, muffins, and fruit.
- Consider having an afternoon cookout where you serve mini sliders, chips, and veggie and fruit platters.
- Decorate cookies or other sweets to fit the theme, or use cookie cutters to cut fruit or veggies into theme-specific shapes.
3
Purchase supplies such as decorations, tableware, and party favors. Once you’ve picked your theme, it’ll make it easy to pick out which supplies you need. Choose decorations such as streamers, tablecloths, and balloons in your desired color scheme. Make sure you have all the plates, cups, and utensils you’ll need, and stock up on party favors to give to each of your guests that will be coming.^{[9]
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- If you’re planning a party with a gray and yellow color scheme, purchase streamers, plates, and party favors in these colors.
- For a barn-themed baby shower, have the guests place the presents in a wheelbarrow, purchase plates with farm animals on them, or give the guests Peeps as a party favor.
4
Prepare baby-related games to play. You can make up your own baby games that go with your theme, or you can opt for traditional baby shower games that are often played. Pick out 3 games that you think will be fun, and gather all the supplies you’ll need to put them together.^{[10]
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- You can find lots of ideas for baby shower games by doing a quick online search.
- For example, have everyone taste baby food and guess the flavor or have everyone decorate a baby onesie with fabric markers or paint.

Community Q&A

Question

How do I deal with a person who is organizing my daughter's shower without my knowledge or input? Her partner's mother is very controlling.

Community Answer

Speak honestly with her partner's mother and tell her that you also wanted to have an important role in your daughter's baby shower because she is important to you. It's important to be honest and authentic about your feelings and needs, this is the only way to get them met. You can also think about things from your daughter's perspective. In the end, it won't matter to her who did what, as long as you are all there loving her, supporting her, and cheering her on. That's what the shower is really about anyways, right?
Question

What are some games we can play at the baby shower?

Community Answer

Pick 5 different candy bars and put them inside of 5 different diapers. Melt them in the microwave for a few seconds, pass them around to see who can guess them all.
Question

What are the questions asked at the baby shower during game time?

Community Answer

Pinterest is a great place to look for some ideas.