How to Think Positively About Yourself

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: January 30, 2023 References

Most people struggle at some point in their lives with thinking positively about themselves. Thinking positively can be especially challenging when you are feeling overwhelmed by life circumstances. However, you can learn how to improve your self-perception by applying various strategies that promote positive thinking.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Focusing on Positive Thoughts

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Look on the bright side. Have you ever had an overwhelmingly successful and productive day, but yet upon reflecting, found yourself focusing on nothing but the negatives? When there is something wrong in our lives, we tend to block out everything that is good. This is called filtering. Like a filter, you mentally discard all of the positives from your mind and increase the significance of the negatives.^{[1]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}Instead, choose to zoom in on the positives, as this will improve your overall perspective on life.
- One easy way of looking on the bright side is by completing the sentence starter, “the good news is” whenever you are facing a challenge.^{[2]
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  Research source}For example, you had a minor car and your car’s rear bumper is damaged and needs to be replaced. You can tell yourself, “The good news is that there is no damage to the actual car frame, which is a relief.”
- Try to reflect on your personal successes. Make a list of all the good things that you have accomplished throughout your day by listing all of the reasons that you are successful, and all of the things that you have accomplished. Try and think of what makes you happy and relaxed while creating your list.
2
Pinpoint specific areas plagued with negative thinking. There are probably certain things about yourself that you tend to view in a negative light. It might be your career, family, appearance, etc. If you can identify which areas you need to view more positively, you can work on improving your self perception. Instead of viewing the particular issue negatively, try seeing it from a more positive perspective. In time, you will recognize that your life is filled with a lot more positives than negatives. Be sure to start with one area at time so you can give it your full attention.^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- For example, let’s say you are working a part-time job and are feeling down because it’s taking longer than you would like to be hired for a full-time job. Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts like, “I’m not making enough money with this part-time job,” you could tell yourself, “I really appreciate the extra time I now have to go the gym and prepare some home cooked-meals for the family.
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3
Engage in positive self-talk. Positive self-talk is about focusing your internal thoughts into all of the things that are good about you. How you talk to yourself plays a prominent role in your self perception and worldview. ^{[4]
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Research source} Engaging in positive self-talk is a skill, and with practice you can develop this skill.
- When you have negative thoughts, change it to a positive thought. For example, instead of thinking, “I’m no good at dancing,” tell yourself, “I will get better with practice.” If you’re negatively thinking, “I’m too tired to work,” change it to, “I will put forth my best effort even though I’m tired.”^{[5]
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- Like anything, practice makes perfect. It takes time to develop a habit, so the more you focus on engaging in positive self-talk, the more natural at it you’ll become.
4
Compliment yourself in the mirror. Each day, take time to love the skin you’re in by taking time to appreciate your positive physical attributes. It might be the cute dimples in your smile, your broad shoulders, or your gorgeous curly hair. While looking at yourself, actually vocalize your personal compliment.
- For example, you can say, “I love how my shoulders fill out this shirt” or “my legs look really good in this dress.” This will help you to develop a healthy attitude about your physical appearance.
5
Straighten up your workspace. Your environment affects how you feel about yourself. Being surrounded by clutter and mess increases stress and can make you feel overwhelmed. Take time to clean off your desk or tidy up your bedroom to help improve your self perception.
- Start with decluttering a little at a time to avoid becoming overwhelmed. Each day, start with one room, and remove 25 items that are out of place or need to be discarded. Pretty soon, you’ll find you are surrounded by a neat and tidy space.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Discovering Your Positive Attributes

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Take an assessment on your character strengths. Identifying your character strengths can help you improve your relationships, your health and overall well being.^{[6]
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Research source}. Consider completing a character-profiling tool that will help you identify your personal strengths.
- The VIA Institute of Character offers a free character strengths assessment known as the VIA Survey. You can complete the survey in about 15 minutes.^{[7]
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  Research source}The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is another personality assessment that you can take to learn more about your personality strengths.^{[8]
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2
Stay in the company of positive people. You are the company that you keep. Surround yourself with people who celebrate and appreciate your strengths, and their positivity will rub off on you. ^{[9]
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Research source}On the other hand, keeping company with negative people will turn you into a sour-puss as well.
- Send out positive signals so you can attract positive people. Before going out to meet others, focus on conjuring up positive energy. Think about all of your positive qualities that would attract others to you, such as your compassion, sense of humor and kindness.
3
Seek support from people in your inner circle. Sometimes it’s difficult to see all of the great qualities that other people see in you. Talk to people that you trust, such as your friends and relatives, regarding your struggles. Let them know about how you're feeling and why you're feeling this way. They can provide you some much needed moral support and encouragement on the types of things you can do to change your negative mindset.
4
Talk to a counselor. Constantly dwelling on negative thoughts about yourself can lead to low self esteem and depression. ^{[10]
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Research source}Consider seeking counseling if you are regularly plagued with feelings of low self worth.
- Ask friends and family to recommend good therapists or counselors. Your primary care physician can also be a good source for providing a counseling referral or recommendation.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Pursuing Positive Activities

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Start each day on a positive note. Do you ever notice that how you start the day off sets the tone for the rest of your day? You can decrease your chances of getting out on the wrong side of the bed by beginning each day with something positive.
- Find something that makes you happy and incorporate it into your daily routine.
- For example, you could start each morning by reading an uplifting quote, doing a crossword puzzle, or taking your dog for a walk.
2
Keep a gratitude journal. There are probably many things in your life for which you are grateful. Take time everyday to intentionally reflect and appreciate these things by writing them down in a gratitude journal. Did you know that simply writing about things you are grateful for has proven to result in better sleep, decrease in illness symptoms, and an increase in feeling happy overall?^{[11]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
Go to source}
- Get started by writing down five things in the past week for which you are grateful. Keep each entry short to about a sentence in length. You can write about very simple things like appreciating the smell of freshly baked cookies, to more significant events like receiving a clean bill of health during a doctor’s appointment.^{[12]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  Go to source}
- Purchase an uplifting calendar with inspirational quotes, and place it on your nightstand next to your bed so the first words you encounter each morning are positive and uplifting. You can also find uplifting books and websites to read as you prepare to start the day.^{[13]
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3
Engage in activities that you enjoy and do well. Nothing’s better than pursuing activities and hobbies that you find both enjoyable and pleasurable! No matter how busy you are, make it a goal to participate in at least one thing that brings you joy each day because you deserve it. ^{[14]
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4
Try some new experiences. Get out of the rut of doing the same monotonous things over and over again by challenging yourself to try something different. Engaging in new experiences helps to boost your self esteem and confidence, as well as decreasing boredom and loneliness.
- Not sure where to start? Consider starting a bucket list of all the things you want to experience and explore in your life. Expand your knowledge by enrolling in a new class or learning a new language.
- You can even have new experiences by breaking out of your normal routine by switching up your exercise regimen or being adventurous and trying out new fashion colors.
5
Perform acts of kindness. Helping others not only benefits the people you are serving, but also has a positive effect on the giver’s physical and emotional well-being. In fact, people who volunteer for at least two hours per week reduce their mortality rates by 40 percent.^{[15]
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- Donate food or volunteer at your local food bank. Become a positive role model to youth in your community by volunteering to become a big brother or big sister. Visit the elderly at your local nursing homes. The list is endless for things to do to help improve the lives of others, which in turn improves your life as well.