How to Text a Guy on a Dating App

Co-authored by Mark Rosenfeld and Hunter Rising

Last Updated: June 20, 2022 References

It’s so exciting matching with a new guy on Tinder or Bumble, but how are you supposed to break the ice and make a good impression? Now that you’ve connected in the app, it’s time to learn more about him to see if you have potential as a couple. Luckily, we’re here to help you through your first conversation with him. Keep reading for a ton of advice and examples of what to say so you can find out if he’s your perfect match!

1

Mention something from his profile.

His photos and bio show what he likes and wants to talk about. Read through his bio and bring up any of the hobbies or interests he mentions. If he doesn’t give you a lot to work with in the bio, scroll through his pictures and look for anything exciting or intriguing that you can use as a conversation starter.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say something like, “Is that the Eiffel Tower in your photo? I’ve never been to France but always wanted to go! What was it like?”
- As another example, you might say, “OMG is that your dog? It’s SO cute 🥺 How long have you had it?” Talking about pets is really easy and can get the ball rolling in no time.
- If there’s nothing that attracts you on his profile, but he is still your type, you can always start a conversation about something generic like the weather or recent events.

2

Give him a compliment.

Flattering a guy shows you’re confident and into him. You can mention something that you notice from his pictures or bio if you haven’t started chatting yet. Rather than making a general comment, choose one specific thing you noticed to compliment him on so your message feels more personal.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say something, “I wish I could spend a beach day with you because you look amazing in that photo 😍”
- As another example, you might say, “You have such good taste in music! I’ll def need some recommendations!”

3

Ask him open-ended questions.

Use “what,” “how,” or “why” questions to get him talking. Open-ended questions require more than one-word answers so they’re great for getting a conversation started. You could ask fun questions to break the ice or personal questions so you’re able to learn more about him. Just be sure to answer any questions he has for you too so the conversation doesn’t feel one-sided.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- For example, fun questions you could ask include, “If you could only bring one thing with you to a deserted island, what would it be?” or “What are your favorite movies?”
- Some more personal questions you can ask include, “What’s your favorite memory from growing up?” or “How did you like the most about your hometown?”

4

Play Would You Rather.

You can learn a lot from the choices he makes during this fun game. Give your guy a couple of fun prompts to choose from and make him pick one. You can make your questions about something really silly and fun, or you can ask about things that are important to see if you’re a good match for each other.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could ask, “Would you rather be able to breathe underwater or have the power to fly?”
- Another example might be, “Would you rather have a huge extravagant party or plan a small get-together with friends?”

5

Send a funny GIF.

You’re 30% more likely to get a response after sharing a GIF. A lot of dating apps don’t let you send your own pictures, but you can search for a GIF that matches how you’re feeling. Use the GIF search in the app to find one that will make him laugh or one that relates back to what you’ve talked about. Follow up with a quick joke to give him more to respond to.^{[5]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could send him a GIF of a scared cat and say something like, “I’m a little nervous to say hi, but I’m not like this scaredy-cat 😺”
- As another example, if you’ve been talking about your favorite movies, you may find a GIF from your favorite scene and say, “This is my favorite part! What’s yours?”

6

Tell him a joke.

Show off your funny side so he gets your sense of humor. Repeat a corny joke you heard, point out something that happened to you, or riff on something that he mentioned in his profile. Just try to stay away from making any sarcastic comments since it can be pretty hard to read over text and he might not know that you’re joking.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say something like, “I’m so tired of this lockdown but I can’t wait to lock you down 😉”
- As another example, you might say, “Since you love bowling, let me get the ball rolling on this conversation so I don’t strike out!”

7

Ask him for advice.

Getting a guy’s recommendation makes it feel like you trust him. Even if you have an easy choice to make, ask the guy you’re chatting with for his input. He’ll love that you asked him and care about his opinion, so it can make you feel like you’re closer.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could ask, “I know you’re a big movie buff, so what do you think I should watch tonight?”
- As another example, you might say something like, “UGH studying is such a bore 😫 What do you do to make it more exciting?”

8

Share a personal story.

Let him get to know you better so he’s not the only one talking. If the guy mentions something that you can relate to, talk about your story so you can bond over it more. If he has questions for you, be sure to answer them so he learns more about who you are.^{[8]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say something like, “OMG that reminds me of the trip I took when I was younger…”
- As another example, you might say, “Oh, something similar happened to me! One time…”
- Mentioning embarrassing and funny childhood stories is always a great idea to keep the conversation going in a lighthearted way.

9

Flirt with him.

Make it clear that you’re interested so he doesn’t feel led on. You’re obviously into the guy if you match with him, so be straightforward so he isn’t guessing how you’re feeling. Say something sweet or a little risqué to get his attention and let him know you want to be more than friends. Just make sure you wait and save sexting until you’re both comfortable and ready for it.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say something like, “The only thing that would make this movie night better is cuddling up next to you 🥰”
- As another example, you might say, “You want to know who I really want to ask out? Read the first word of this message 😉”
- That said, be careful not to be too straightforward, or you might end up scaring the guy.

10

Add emojis to your messages.

Emojis make your texts seem more fun and less serious. They add energy to the words and let you express a little more. There are a ton of emojis you can use to convey how you're feeling. Add 1 or 2 emojis to a message so he knows that you're still having fun. Be careful not to overuse emojis though since too many could seem a little obnoxious.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say something like, “LOL 🤣 you’re so funny, I can’t even!”
- As another example, you might say, “There’s this guy I like, can you guess who? 😉”

11

End your messages on cliffhangers.

Hide a few details so he has to reply and ask for more. Rather than telling him everything right away, keep a few things mysterious. He’ll be curious about the rest of your response and want to learn more about you, so he’ll ask you questions and keep the conversation alive.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- For example, you could say something like, “I had such a crazy day at work. You won’t believe what one of my coworkers did…”
- As another example, you might say, “OMG that reminds me of something really funny I did a few months ago…”

12

Keep the conversation lighthearted.

Positive topics sound a lot more engaging. Chatting with a guy you matched with should feel really fun as you learn more about each other. Stay away from controversial topics, like politics or religion, so you can just focus on how much chemistry you have with him. As you feel more comfortable chatting with him, then you can start talking about them.^{[12]
X
Research source}

13

Give him time to respond.

Wait until he replies so you don’t come off as needy. Even though you’re probably really eager to keep chatting with this guy, he could get overwhelmed reading a wall of text from you. After sending a message, put your phone away and give him a chance to write you back. Find something to do to distract yourself while you wait so you aren’t tempted to text him again.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Give the guy the benefit of the doubt at first if he hasn’t replied right away since he might actually be busy.
- If your guy hasn’t responded within a week, he’s probably not interested.

14

Make plans to get together.

Work towards meeting in person so you can build a physical bond. While it’s nice and easy to keep up a text conversation, you won’t know if you work well together until you meet up. If you want to take the next steps in your relationship, ask if he wants to go on a date and meet up. He might be really impressed that you stepped up and took the initiative.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- For example, you might say, “I’d love to get together sometime soon! What do you have planned for this weekend?”
- As another example, you could send, “I’ve had a lot of fun chatting 😊 Do you want to grab drinks some night this week?”

Get More Dates with this Expert Series for Women

Dating is hard. We’ve put together this series of expert articles to help you get more dates, go on better dates, and ultimately find your person.

1

Be an Attractive Woman

11 Clear Signs He Likes You After ...

5

Tell Someone You Don't Want to Go ...

6

Transition from Dating to Relation...

Warnings

Try to say more than “hey” as your first message to a guy since it doesn’t give him a lot to work with for continuing the conversation.^{[16]
X
Research source}

⧼thumbs_response⧽
Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0