This article was co-authored by Maya Diamond, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 13 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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It’s the perfect setup: you swipe right on a cute girl, and lo and behold, it’s a match! But when you go check out her profile to learn more about her, the bio is blank. How, then, do you craft the perfect opening message? In this article, we’ll tell you how to create a personalized message that’s sure to get a response, even if her profile is a little lacking.
Steps
Use her pictures for clues.
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Her pics might be able to tell you what she likes to do. Take a minute to scroll through her photos, and look for things like vacation spots, pets, and different foods. If you’re lucky, you can comment on something in her photos instead of relying on a bio to tell you more about her.[1] X Research source
- For instance, if she has a lot of pictures of her out in nature, you can probably assume she likes hiking and going outdoors.
- If she has a ton of pictures with her dog, you can assume that she’s an animal lover.
- You can also use her pics to determine if you have any common interests. For instance, if you love to surfboard and she has lots of pics in a wetsuit at the beach, you might open up with a line about that.
Comment on her location.
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Her profile will tell you roughly where she’s located. Even if she has no photos at all, you can still take a look at her location and come up with a line about that. Ask her how she likes living in the area, when she moved here, or which neighborhood she’s in. Try something like:
- “Whoa, seems like we live pretty close! Did you grow up here?”
- “How do you like living in Colorado?”
Give her a compliment.
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Tell her something you like based on her photos. Maybe you love her smile, or maybe her long hair caught your eye. Try to keep it G-rated (no sexual comments in the opening line), but pick something genuine. Try something like:[2] X Research source
- “Your smile is amazing! I can tell you really light up a room.”
- “Your sense of style is so cool. Are you into streetwear fashion?”
- “I love how outdoorsy you are. You seem fun to hang out with!”
Ask her a question.
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You’re more likely to get a response if you ask something open-ended. Pick a question that she can’t answer with yes or no, then send it as your opening line. You can try to relate it to her pictures, or you can simply send something random that you think she might like. For instance:[3] X Research source
- “What’s the best country you’ve ever traveled to?”
- “What’s the first thing you’re gonna do after lockdown is over?”
- “What’s your favorite restaurant in the city?”
Assume something about her from her pics.
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A cheeky or flirty assumption is a great way to break the ice. Take a look through her pics and then make an assumption about her, like how much she likes to party or what her favorite book is. She’ll probably respond telling you how right (or how wrong) you are, which can lead to a fun, interesting convo. Try something like:[4] X Research source
- “Let me guess: you’re from California.”
- “I’m gonna assume that you love traveling, and you feel antsy when you stay at home too long. Am I wrong?”
Throw out a silly deal breaker.
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Come up with something funny that would ruin her chances instantly. You might ask about her pizza preferences, her favorite cocktail, or how early her bed time is. Then, you two can engage in some witty banter after she answers. You might say something like:[5] X Research source
- “Okay, deal breaker time: how do you feel about pineapple on pizza?”
- “This is important: how early do you go to bed on an average night?”
- “I only ask because it’s a deal breaker for me: what’s your favorite alcoholic beverage?”
Play a game of “Would You Rather?”
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This goofy icebreaker is a fun way to exchange messages back and forth. Come up with a hypothetical scenario that’s light and fun, then ask her “Would you rather…” When she answers, you can give her your thoughts and then have a fun conversation after that. Try ones like:
- “Would you rather fight 10 duck-sized horses or 1 horse-sized duck?”
- “Would you rather swim in a pool full of Nutella or a pool full of maple syrup?”
- “Would you rather be 11 feet tall or 9 inches tall?”
Try a pun about her name.
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If her name is all you have to go off of, try making a play on words. You might rearrange the letters in her name to come up with a new word, or you could make a sentence out of her name using a word that rhymes with it. This depends a lot on what her name is, so if you’re stuck, try doing a quick Google search for inspo.[6] X Research source
- If her name is Greta, you might say, “If you could rearrange the t and the a in your name, that’d be great.”
- For a girl named Brianna, you might say, “I’d rather Brianna date with you right now.”
- If her name is Penny, you could try, “You should change your name from Penny to Dime, cause you’re a 10/10.”
Compare her to her celebrity lookalike.
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Maybe her pic caught your eye because she looks like Rihanna or Drew Barrymore. If that’s the case, feel free to call it out (as long as it’s a good-looking celebrity). And, if you think she gets that a lot, you could start out with something like, “I bet you get this all the time.”[7] X Research source
- “For a split second, I really thought I had matched with Jennifer Lawrence.”
- “Zendaya, is that you??”
- “You probably get this a lot, but you look just like Megan Fox.”
Send a funny pickup line.
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A cheesy pickup line will make her laugh (and hopefully get a response). Stay away from anything sexual—that could come off as a little too forward. Instead, choose a goofy line that will make her chuckle and appreciate your sense of humor. You might try:[8] X Research source
- “Well, here I am. What are your other 2 wishes?”
- “Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.”
- “If you were a Transformer, you’d be Optimus Fine.”
Send her a gif.
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Tinder has tons of funny gifs that you can use as an opener. If you’re really stuck on what to say, peruse through your options, and try to find something funny that will make her laugh. For best results, send along a message with your gif so she knows you aren’t just sending the same thing to multiple people.[9] X Research source
- You could send a gif of someone looking confused and caption it with “Me figuring out what my first message should be.”
- Or, you could try sending a gif of salt bae and adding, “That’s me, sending you the perfect Tinder opener.”
Warnings
- Keep an eye out for bots and scam accounts. Not everyone without a bio is a fake profile, but they could be.⧼thumbs_response⧽
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References
- ↑ https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/tinder-perfect-profile-sean-rad
- ↑ https://thetab.com/uk/2018/11/14/how-to-start-a-conversation-on-tinder-86084
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=133&v=4R2ql7Scj8Q&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=171&v=4R2ql7Scj8Q&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6xls_8eCFVY&t=622s
- ↑ https://textgod.com/tinder-name-puns/
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=199&v=4R2ql7Scj8Q&feature=youtu.be
- ↑ https://textgod.com/tinder-openers/
- ↑ https://textgod.com/tinder-openers/