This article was co-authored by Liana Georgoulis, PsyD. Dr. Liana Georgoulis is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years of experience, and is now the Clinical Director at Coast Psychological Services in Los Angeles, California. She received her Doctor of Psychology from Pepperdine University in 2009. Her practice provides cognitive behavioral therapy and other evidence-based therapies for adolescents, adults, and couples.
There are 23 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
This article has been viewed 3,485 times.
Have you ever felt someone else’s pain physically? Can you sense when something isn’t right? Or, do you feel extremely overwhelmed in public places? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may be a super empath! Super empaths possess unique qualities that separate them from other types of empaths. In this article, we’ll go over all the subtle and not-so-subtle signs of a super empath (plus, why you might attract narcissistic personalities).
Things You Should Know
- Super empaths are highly sensitive and intuitive; they physically feel others’ emotions and are hyper-aware of their surroundings.
- Super empaths prefer solitude to recharge, and they often engage in creative activities.
- To manage being a super empath, maintain a self-care routine and set healthy boundaries with loved ones.
- Narcissists are often attracted to super empaths because they want to feel important and desired (and super empaths make others feel that way!).
Steps
What is a super empath?
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A super empath has an uncanny ability to feel others’ emotions. Unlike normal empaths, super empaths don’t just sense other people’s feelings, they physically feel them. Super empaths are incredibly intuitive and compassionate, making them exceptional friends and partners. They possess high self-esteem, which contributes to their strong core identity; they aren’t willing to compromise their beliefs to please or fit in with the crowd.[1] X Research source
- Super empaths are frequently targeted by narcissists because they are so kind and giving. Narcissists crave admiration, so they seek people who understand and essentially worship them.[2] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Super empaths are skilled at detecting abusive behavior like gaslighting, minimization, and deflection, which both intimidates and attracts narcissists.[3] X Research source
Super Empath Traits
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1Highly intuitive With unmatched intuition, super empaths possess the mysterious ability to guess things they haven’t been told (or aren’t supposed to know). They’re masters at detecting emotion, and they can easily recognize if someone’s hurt or upset.[4] X Research source
- When you follow your intuition, is it usually right?
- Do you ever get the sudden urge to call a loved one to confirm your gut feeling?
- Has someone ever told you that you have psychic abilities?
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2Strong desire to help others Super empaths have an innate desire to help people, and they eagerly seek opportunities to improve their community. Whether it’s taking care of a sick pet, helping an elderly person cross the street, or volunteering at a local shelter, super empaths believe their purpose in life is to uplift and improve the lives of everyone around them.[5] X Research source
- Do you believe the smallest actions make a big difference?
- Are you willing to sacrifice your time and energy to help a stranger?
- Do you enjoy volunteering or tutoring others?
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3Always see the best in people While many people are quick to judge, super empaths are deeply compassionate. They actively listen to others and see things from different points of view–you won’t ever catch them supporting haters or shutting people off without hearing them out.[6] X Research source
- Do you always give people the benefit of the doubt?
- Have you ever been told you’re dating someone “below your league,” or has someone questioned why you hang out with “weird” people?
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4Truth-seeking Super empaths are essentially walking lie-detectors; they know when something isn’t adding up, and they always find out the truth. Their effortless ability to detect lies helps them navigate relationships and eliminate toxic people out of their lives.[7] X Research source
- Have you ever cut someone off because you found out they lied to you?
- Have you ever caught your partner cheating on you?
- Do you confront people if you suspect they’re hiding something from you?
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5Very sensitive to others’ emotions Compared to other types of empaths, super empaths possess the highest level of empathy. They not only absorb the emotions of people around them, good or bad, but they physically feel their pain–a phenomenon known as mirror-touch synesthesia.[8] X Research source While this allows them to connect deeply with others, they also feel mentally exhausted if they’re around negative people for extended periods.
- Has anyone ever told you that you’re “too emotional” or “too sensitive?”
- Do you feel drained after speaking to people because it feels like you’re experiencing their situation?
- Do you feel an emotional response to someone days after talking to them?
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6Self-confident Super empaths have a strong core identity. They’ve put in the necessary work to not only act confident, but be confident, and they stand firm in their beliefs, values, and morals. Super empaths aren’t afraid to speak their truth, even if they’re the “outsider” in a situation.[9] X Research source
- Did you successfully avoid peer pressure growing up?
- Do you stand up for what you believe in, even if no one else agrees with you?
- Are you okay with losing relationships if your core values drastically differ from others?
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7Socially-aware Paired with their extreme intuition, super empaths are skilled at “reading the room” and picking up on subtle social cues. They’re experts at reading body language, so any expression, gesture, or tick doesn’t go unnoticed.[10] X Research source
- Can you tell if someone is lying based on their body language or behavior?
- Are you aware when you’re being too loud and need to adjust your volume?
- Do you understand why a certain topic might not be appropriate in the workplace?
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8Easily overwhelmed Super empaths are hyper-aware of their surroundings, so public places are a nightmare. Crowded rooms, busy streets, and even large gatherings with friends can be overstimulating, making it hard to focus and be present.[11] X Research source
- Do sights, sounds, and smells overwhelm you?
- Do you feel trapped or panicked if you can’t escape a crowded area?
- Do you avoid going to the mall or grocery store?
- Do you feel more anxious than excited when attending events like concerts or sports games?
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9Introverted Since super empaths are sensitive to their environment, they enjoy being alone to protect themselves from negative energy. Solitude allows them to fully rest and recharge, but it doesn’t mean they’re lonely or socially-awkward. Super empaths still maintain great relationships with people, but they’re not afraid to dedicate time alone during the week to avoid emotional overload.[12] X Research source
- Do you find yourself more energized by yourself than with a group?
- Are you more excited by ideas than activities?
- Do you prefer a few close relationships to many casual ones?
- Do you work better independently than with a group?
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10Independent Whether it’s eating at a restaurant or attending a new workout class, super empaths aren’t afraid to do things by themselves. They don’t rely on others for their happiness or sense of self-worth, and they don’t care how they’re perceived by others, especially strangers.[13] X Research source
- Are you comfortable being seen alone in public?
- Have you ever attended a concert alone or gone to the movies by yourself?
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11May struggle setting boundaries Sometimes, super empaths struggle to set boundaries with people because they can’t separate other’s emotions from their own. They want to help and protect their loved ones, so they find it difficult to say no, even if it means sacrificing their personal happiness to ensure everyone else is okay.[14] X Research source
- Have you ever been called a “people pleaser?”
- Do you feel like you’re letting someone down if you tell them no?
- Are you afraid someone will like you less if you don’t agree with them?
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12Performative Some super empaths feel like they’re putting on an act to please others. They might act like “the funny one” in one friend group, but then be “the mom” in another–whichever role fits better with the group dynamic. They don’t necessarily change their personality, but they’re highly aware of how they’re perceived. Super empaths want to uplift and humor everyone around them, so at times, they might feel a bit "fake," even to themselves.[15] X Research source
- Do you change your personality in different friend groups?
- Do you often plan what you’re going to say or practice a conversation in your head?
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13Creative Super empaths are naturally curious and reflective about the world, which translates into their alone time. They’re more imaginative than the average person, so they’re constantly brainstorming new ideas and engaging in creative activities, especially related to the arts.[16] X Research source
- Do you enjoy learning new skills or activities in your free time?
- When you listen to music or watch movies, do you fully immerse yourself in the experience?
Self-Care for Super Empaths
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1Prioritize your own needs. If you’re sacrificing your happiness to please others, you’re sabotaging your health and wellbeing. Consider your mental state before tackling other people’s problems, and take care of yourself: exercise regularly, eat balanced meals, and be sure to get at least 7 hours of sleep.[17] X Trustworthy Source National Institute of Mental Health Informational website from U.S. government focused on the understanding and treatment of mental illness. Go to source
- Develop a self-care routine to relieve stress and improve concentration.
- Remember, if you’re not in a good place mentally, you can’t take care of your loved ones as effectively.
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2Set boundaries with loved ones. Supporting someone doesn’t equate to being their therapist. Accept that it’s not your responsibility to heal others, and understand that boundaries are necessary to maintain healthy relationships. To establish boundaries, reflect on your needs, and clearly communicate what is and isn’t acceptable behavior.[18] X Research source
- It’s perfectly normal for boundaries to change overtime, and every person has the right to express their feelings. If you aren’t comfortable with something you previously tolerated, don’t feel guilty for changing your mind.
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3Avoid negative media outlets. Looking at the news can be overwhelming and stressful. To emotionally decompress, limit your media consumption throughout the day, and focus on positive stories. If looking at the news stresses you out in the morning, avoid exposure until the late afternoon or evening.[19] X Trustworthy Source Greater Good Magazine Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living Go to source
- Disconnect yourself from electronics to improve your well-being. Choose a day to be offline completely, or create a tech-free zone in your home.
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4Take short breaks regularly. To avoid overstimulation, schedule short breaks throughout the day. Step outside, if possible, and allow the fresh air to clear your mind. Being empathetic is exhausting, so focus on your breathing and try to stay present.[20] X Trustworthy Source Harvard Business Review Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices Go to source
- If you’re bombarded with thoughts, listen to your favorite album or a light-hearted podcast to take your mind off things.
Super Empath & Narcissists
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1Super empaths are compassionate, while narcissists aren't empathetic. Narcissists are either incapable or unwilling to recognize the emotions of others. Empathy requires assessing your own vulnerability and shame, but narcissists refuse to view themselves as anything other than perfect.[21] X Research source
- Super empaths understand who they are and who they are not, which allows them to show empathy. They’re not afraid to be vulnerable and share their insecurities with others.
- On the other hand, narcissists believe everyone but themselves is less skilled, less important, and less capable.
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2Super empaths have high self-esteem, while narcissists are insecure. Super empaths are not codependent; they’ve faced and healed their past traumas, and they’re unapologetically themselves. Narcissists, on the other hand, are codependent. They seek validation from others and often create a false image of themselves, inflating their accomplishments and self-importance.[22] X Research source
- Whether it’s repeatedly insulting someone or calling them a hurtful name, narcissists often pick on other people to feel better about themselves and boost their sense of superiority.[23] X Research source
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3Super empaths learn, while narcissists believe they’re always right. Super empaths consider various perspectives before making a decision, and they aren’t afraid to admit their mistakes–they want to grow and evolve. Narcissists are arrogant and entitled, so they have to be the smartest in the room–in any situation. Even if someone else is more informed about a topic, narcissists often override the conversation to feed their ego.[24] X Trustworthy Source Mayo Clinic Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals Go to source
- Narcissists lack the skills to genuinely apologize, so even if they’re clearly in the wrong, don’t expect them to take accountability for their actions.
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References
- ↑ https://youtu.be/RXHCT1dGiSc?t=333
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662
- ↑ https://youtu.be/-Le56P-Jcjc?t=249
- ↑ https://youtu.be/RXHCT1dGiSc?t=249
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/human-kind/201901/having-empathy-and-being-empath-what-s-the-difference
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-empathy/202106/cancel-culture-and-empathy-can-they-coexist
- ↑ https://youtu.be/bEMAz0IA7DA?t=709
- ↑ https://www.wired-gov.net/wg/news.nsf/articles/Super+empaths+with+rare+condition+can+feel+your+pain+13112018164300?open
- ↑ https://youtu.be/RXHCT1dGiSc?t=286
- ↑ https://youtu.be/bEMAz0IA7DA?t=358
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/highly-sensitive-person
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-freedom/201602/10-traits-empathic-people-share
- ↑ https://youtu.be/RXHCT1dGiSc?t=380
- ↑ https://www.psychalive.org/empaths
- ↑ https://psych2go.net/5-signs-of-the-empaths-dark-side
- ↑ https://dlibrary.stanford.edu/questions/how-does-empathy-influence-creativity
- ↑ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/caring-for-your-mental-health
- ↑ https://wellnesscenter.uic.edu/news-stories/boundaries-what-are-they-and-how-to-create-them
- ↑ https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/six_tips_to_avoid_being_overwhelmed_by_the_news
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2016/01/the-limits-of-empathy
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/intense-emotions-and-strong-feelings/202001/do-narcissists-actually-lack-empathy
- ↑ https://youtu.be/-Le56P-Jcjc?t=69
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fulfillment-any-age/201508/why-narcissists-need-you-doubt-yourself
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20366662