How to Strengthen Character

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Last Updated: June 26, 2022 References Approved

There are many ways to describe being a “strong” person. Some common traits include honesty, loyalty, and a good work ethic. You can follow some common guidelines to strengthen multiple aspects of your character. You’ll want to work on improving your best qualities--this will allow you to fully develop into your best self. It is also helpful to work on practicing more empathy and expressing gratitude. Finally, you can build a strong character by taking on leadership roles and facing challenges head on.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Focusing on Your Best Qualities

1
Be more honest. Honesty is a key component of your character. Show others that you are honest by making your actions match your words. For example, if you tell your partner that you will be more supportive of their career, show them you mean it. You could make a point to ask them about a big project they're on or you could offer to take over dinner duty during a particularly busy time.^{[1]
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- You can also become more honest by acting sincere. Don't feel that you always have to act a certain way. Give honest reactions.
- For example, you can say to your partner, "I'm sorry I wasn't more supportive earlier. I think it was because I just miss you when you're at work."
2
Build your self-awareness. Self-awareness means paying getting to know yourself on a deeper level. By being self-aware, you can understand how your ideas and reactions are shaped. Getting a better sense of who you are can help you build your character. Set aside time to self-reflect each day. You can ask yourself questions such as, "Why did I react like that when Sue said that?" and "How could I improve my reaction the next time there is a conflict?"^{[2]
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- Meditation is also a great way to gain self-awareness. You can learn to meditate by downloading an app, taking a class, or reading a book on meditation. You can also just sit quietly and see where your thoughts take you!
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3
Gain more self-control. You can develop your self-control by making small changes to your daily life. For example, you could work on controlling impulse eating. When you're about to reach for a late night snack, stop and ask yourself if you're actually hungry. Then drink a big glass of water instead. You can consciously think about controlling your impulses.^{[3]
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- Making your bed daily is a great habit to commit to. It will help you develop discipline, which you can then use in other parts of your life.
4
Practice integrity. Living with integrity means that you're being true to the person you are inside. If your actions don't match your beliefs, then you will always feel unsettled inside. Know and honor your personal values and morals in your everyday life. Make your decisions based on these values, and don't bend to peer pressure.^{[4]
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- Join a cause that fits with your values.
- Think about how your decisions fall in line with your beliefs.
- Change habits that are out of line with your beliefs.
- Be honest.
5
Take responsibility for your mistakes and make things right. Everyone makes mistakes, but how you handle them shows your character. Be honest when you've messed up, and do what you can to make amends for your actions. Depending on the situation, you may need to apologize. Other times, you may need to change your behavior or take action to make up for what you did.
- Work with the person you harmed to come up with a solution.
- Consider ways that you could balance the situation.
- If you make a mistake or do harm to someone else, admit your mistake and make it right. You could say, "I'm sorry that I took credit for your idea. I'm going to tell everyone that you're the one who thought of it."
6
Take calculated risks. There are lots of reasons to take risks, such as increasing your confidence and finding new ways to pursue success. A calculated risk is when you have weighed the risks and the benefits. Don't dive headfirst into something that you haven't thought about.^{[5]
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- For example, maybe you've dreamed of starting your own photography business. It probably doesn't make sense to suddenly quit your job and depend on a brand new business. A better strategy would be to start small. Try booking photography gigs on the weekend. As your business develops, you could think more seriously about pursuing your passion full time.
7
Practice patience. It's normal to find yourself feeling impatient at times. Maybe you've had to bite your tongue when a co-worker didn't immediately grasp a concept. You can build your patience with some work. Start by trying to view the situation through the lens of the other person. You could think, "Oh, maybe Mary doesn't understand what I'm saying because she doesn't have the same background in technology as I do. I could use less jargon in explaining it."
- You can also ask questions and listen carefully. Start with, "Mary, I'd love to help you understand. What points are unclear?" Then listen to Mary's response and try a new approach.^{[6]
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8
Ask someone you trust for feedback. Sometimes it can be hard to be objective about yourself. If you’re serious about making some improvements, consider asking someone else to give you some feedback. Make sure to choose someone who can be honest and constructive at the same time.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
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- Your best friend might be a good choice for this exercise. You could say, “Tom, I’m really looking for ways to be a stronger person. What do you think are some strengths and weaknesses of my character?”
- Accept their feedback with gratitude, and take steps to implement some of the recommended changes.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Practicing Empathy and Gratitude

1
Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. If you can become more empathetic, you’ll be able to better understand other people. You can strengthen your character by being able to relate to others and helping them. Try to imagine what someone else is going through. For example, maybe your friend recently lost a sibling. Think about how that might feel and how you would react. Try to think about what you could do to make your friend feel better.^{[8]
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- You can also take this further and actually experience what the other person is dealing with. For example, maybe your partner is frustrated because they do all of the cooking. Try taking over dinner duty for the week so that you can understand why they feel stress.
2
Challenge prejudices in yourself and others. Most people have assumptions or even prejudices against others. These might be conscious or unconscious. For example, maybe you think that people who haven’t graduated from college are not intelligent. Try to train your brain to be more open minded and accepting of others.^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source
Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
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- Take note of your prejudices. When you find yourself making assumptions, make a mental note. Being aware of bias is the first part in addressing it.
- Next time you have these thoughts, work to actively change your mindset. Instead of thinking, “That person must not be smart,” think, “Wow, they managed to get a good job despite not have a college degree. That’s pretty impressive.”
3
Start a gratitude practice. Gratitude is an important part of character strength because it demonstrates an awareness of the people and things around you. You can develop gratitude by intentionally making it part of your everyday life. For example, you can end each day by thinking of 3 things that you are grateful for.^{[10]
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- You can also try keeping a gratitude journal where you write down things that you are grateful for. You could make notes throughout the day or devote 10 minutes each evening to journaling.
- You could write, “Today I was given an opportunity to volunteer at the animal shelter. I’m grateful that I was able to do something constructive on this Saturday morning.”
4
Express your gratitude towards others. You can also turn your gratitude outwards. Make it a point to say “thank you” every time someone does something for you. You can also make it a point to show appreciation for things that don’t directly affect you.^{[11]
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- For example, you could say to a co-worker, “Thank you for landing that new client. An increase in business is good for all of us.”
- You can make your comments specific. You could try, “I really appreciate that you brought me some chicken soup when I was sick. You’re really thoughtful.”

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Taking on Leadership Roles

1
Speak up if you are shy. You can build your character by taking on more responsibility. It will help expand your knowledge base and give you a new perspective. Begin by looking at how you communicate with others. If you are typically afraid to speak up, make an effort to let your voice be heard.^{[12]
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- Maybe you are on the music committee at your church. If you feel strongly that a piece of music should be used in an upcoming service, speak up and make your point clearly.
- At work, try to participate more in meetings. People will be responsive if you state your ideas clearly and confidently.
2
Let others speak first if you are typically vocal. You can also show leadership by showing restraint. If you are generally very talkative, try letting someone else be heard. Then you can think before you speak and thoughtfully respond.^{[13]
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- If you generally set the agenda for the weekend, ask your partner if there are some specific things that they would like to do.
- It’s great to actively participate in class discussions. But you’ll learn something by listening to others, too.
3
Be open to learning new things. Being open-minded allows to to gain new knowledge and perspective. Each time you learn something new, you are building on your knowledge base and becoming a stronger person. Don't just be open to learning new things, seek out opportunities to do so.
- You could apply this at work. Say to your boss, “I’d love to learn more about the accounting side of our operation. Could I sit in on your meeting this afternoon?”^{[14]
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4
Make and pursue attainable goals. Setting clear goals can help you define your priorities. You'll become a stronger person as you work towards making your goals a reality. Choose something that you want to work on and make that your focus. You can do this in your personal life as well as at work or school.^{[15]
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- For example, maybe you set a goal of learning to speak Spanish. Identify the best way to make that happen and get to work.
- You could find a class to take at a community college or look for an online course. You could also purchase a product like Rosetta Stone.
- Make a schedule for how you will spend your time. Track your progress.
- Working towards clear goals can help you develop discipline, which is part of developing strength of character.
5
Ask for help when you need it. Some people consider asking for help a sign of weakness. Actually, it shows a strength of character by illustrating that you can identify and articulate your needs. Make your requests specific and clear.
- Instead of saying to your partner, "I need more help around the house!" try, "It would be great if you could be in charge of the laundry and walking the dog from now on."
6
Highlight the strengths of others. Empowering others is a great way to raise everyone, including yourself. Good leaders know that building people up is better for you than trying to tear them down. Make sure that you are communicating with your team, and making everyone's contributions matter.^{[16]
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- Point out people's strengths and help them build upon them. You could say, "You really have a talent for making presentations. Would you like to speak on behalf of the group?"
- Focus on the success of the team instead of just yourself. Approach leadership as a "we" instead of a "me."
7
Face challenges head on. Instead of turning away from a problem, find a way to deal with it. You'll need to evaluate the situation objectively and avoid an emotional response. Then you can work on finding and implementing a solution.^{[17]
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- For example, say you are managing a team at work and one of your key players resigns without notice. Instead of getting angry, focus on the situation. You'll probably need to redistribute the work. Call a team meeting, explain the situation, and ask for ideas. Then you can reassign the work and keep moving forward.