How to Stop a Mean Girl Bully

Co-authored by Katie Styzek

Last Updated: March 28, 2023 Approved

Mean girl bullying tends to be conducted behind the scenes, out of sight from teachers and parents, and often consists of social torment and ostracization. This behavior can be extremely damaging for those on the receiving end, but it is possible to defend against it. This article will help you learn what to do when you encounter mean girls to protect yourself and shut them down.

1

Ignore her as often as possible.

Do your best to ignore the mean girl. ^{[1]
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Research source} Bullies crave attention, and mean girls ones aren't much different. If she bothers you, she'll expect a response, so if you decide not to give her one, she'll eventually grow bored with you.

2

Tell a trusted adult.

It's important to get help from an adult. ^{[2]
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Research source} Make sure you tell them not to mention your name so you aren’t labeled a snitch. By doing so, not only will you get your problem out, but you'll also be getting it off your chest, and sharing it with someone who cares.

3

Make eye contact with her.

Eye contact shows confidence, that you couldn't care less what she does. If she can sense you're 'weak' or scared, she'll go after that. When you're making eye contact, and she looks at you, just give your hair a flick, smile, and turn away.

4

Use your words, not your fists.

It's best to stay away from any physical fighting. ^{[3]
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Research source} However, if you are being physically threatened, (with guns, knives, etc.) do whatever you can. Do NOT start a fight or a riot; it will only create tension, and an audience, which may lead to a principal or boss pulling you into their office for a talk.

5

Find her weakness before she finds yours.

This is the key to making her stop. Make her feel bad about bullying and try to shut her up so that she can't bother you. In other words, say something that she can't answer. Nevertheless, make sure it's not something that she can later make a comeback from.
- Showing her assertive energy can also help, in some cases; it doesn't need to be confrontational.^{[4]
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- If she feels the need to say "we" or "us" and you know it's only her that's bullying you, it shows that she's a coward, and she is trying to intimidate you. They do that to make people scared.

6

Remember that it's only a phase.

You are not stuck with this bully forever. Even if feel like it's the worst thing in the world, know that it will pass over some time. You won't have to spend the rest of your life with her.

7

See if she's bullying anyone else.

Is it only you she's bullying? Maybe she has other victims too. Talk to them about it; see if she is doing the exact same thing to others.

8

Don't let it slide.

Hard kidding, making you the butt of the joke all the time, put-downs, and harsh criticism for no reason can't slide. If it's been going on for months or longer, it's a red flag. If it's a friend that's doing this, your friend is slowly wearing you down and that's indirect aggression.

9

Make a confrontation direct and brief.

Don't try to butter up to her. That’s weakness in her eyes and don't provoke anything. (Your talents provoke her already.)^{[5]
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10

Take the high road.

If they gossip, you don't! It's just a way of telling them you want more meanness! Don't say negative things!

Warnings

If she acts innocent around your boss or a teacher, DON'T FALL FOR THIS STUFF! She is just using them, she only thinks about herself, don't think she'll be miss prissy sunshine when the teacher leaves; she will more than likely be the same jerk as always. Bring it up with your boss/teacher and they will most likely believe you and not be surprised, this is a very common thing. However, this doesn't work with all teachers, so just be careful. If you feel that a teacher has a thing against you or so, don't tell them otherwise they'll think that you're lying and believe the bully. If your bully has been at your school since Jurassic times unlike you, this is another turning point. If you don't really have any supporters (ie. you just sit around with random people silently) then that's a bad move too.

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Don't fall silent; don't push it away as if it's nothing. Your respect is worth fighting for! Fight for it!

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Mean Girls (Like most vicious animals) Prey on the weak (AKA. those who don't get much attention) And like stealing others best-friends too have a bigger entourage while ruining someone’s life.

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Mean girl bullies are also known to be gossips, and they tend to spread nasty lies and rumors about the outcast. Just ignore it! Again, she just craves attention.

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NEVER do something you'll regret.

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If the mean girl is at your school and is a popular person, they will have a lot of supporters if you try and fight back, and if you do anything you will have more people against you along with the original bully, who will hate you even more.

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Mean girls also like to seem innocent to others, don't let it fool you. If at least five or more people tell you that she's a mean, bully, and have a good reason to...then they're probably right. Stay clear of that person and don't fall for their false charm, they will only use you in the end.

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Mean girls are mean and the best thing to do is ignore them.

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NEVER bring violence into the picture unless it is to protect yourself from her physically fighting you.

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