How to Stop Your Child's Computer Addiction

Talk with your child about their excessive computer use. Find out if there are any specific reasons that they spend so much time on the computer. Sometimes, the computer can function as an escape from reality, especially if they are being bullied or having difficulties in school. If your child is facing problems that are causing a desire to escape, address those with them through discussions, providing advice, or getting them help when necessary.^[5]

• Listen to them without interrupting. There may be something that they’ve been wanting to share with you, so come to the conversation with a kind and concerned demeanor.
• Oftentimes, children don't realize when they're engaging in escape/avoidance behaviors. You may have to float the idea as a possibility for them to think about and have a few conversations about this.

Establish consequences. After having a talk with your child and assessing what’s going on with them, lay down some basic ground rules for computer use. Let them know that there are limits, that they can only use the computer for two hours per day for non-homework related items, and that there will be consequences if they do not follow the rules.^[6]

• For instance, if they are caught using the computer for longer than allowed, take away the computer for one day. Let them rely on their textbooks when completing any homework.

Follow through. When they do break one of your computer rules, implement consequences immediately. Delaying consequences often results in bad behavior being repeated. If they overuse the computer or use it for anything other than school during homework time, take it away from them then and there. If they are caught doing this a second time, take the computer away for 2 days instead of 1.^[7]

• If they feel that their bad behavior will not be punished, then they will not care about the consequences and may lose respect for you.

Be a good role model. Don’t spend a lot of time using the computer around your child. This might make them feel a bit resentful of you if they see you doing the things that you have banned them from doing. Instead, be present when you are with them and work on spending more time together.^[8]

Suggest alternative activities. Play board games with them, take them to the library or get them together with friends to hang out. If they truly have become addicted, prepare for a very rough few days and weeks as the brain no longer gets its "fix" and has to rewire itself. While you can recommend other activities, your child may be resistant to this.^[9]

• Allow your child to pick the game or see if they have any ideas about activities they’d like to do.
• Encourage your child to read books, make crafts, or do other hands-on activities like building a robot or playing with Legos.
• Remember that it is okay for them to be bored and that this is healthy and fosters creativity and self-soothing.

Spend time as a family without computers or phones. Spend time each day as a family completely unplugged. This includes phones, computers, and the television. Have family dinner together regularly so that you can check-in on each other, connect, and laugh.^[10]

• Plan a vacation that will be completely technology-free.

Sign them up for an after school sports team. Find out from your child if they are interested in playing any sports. If they are lonely and are using the computer as a substitute for friends, this will be a great way for them to connect with others. Allow them to choose the sport, rather than forcing them to play a specific one.^[11]

• Alternatively, your child can learn to play a musical instrument or participate in another extracurricular activity.

Encourage them to join clubs or organizations. Find out from them what clubs or organizations are offered at their school. This will provide them with another way of meeting others and developing new hobbies and interests.^[12]

• You might say “So, you mentioned there was an art club on campus and I know you look up artwork online a lot. Have you thought about joining that? I wouldn’t mind picking you up later on the days that they meet.”
• Many communities also have tabletop gaming leagues with age-appropriate interactive games like Pokémon and Yu-Gi-Oh! that children as young as 5 can play.

Get professional help when necessary. If your child cannot seem to shake the addiction or reacts very aggressively or emotionally to these new rules, then seek professional help for them. There are many therapists who specialize in helping overcome addictions, so research some in your area.^[13]

Notice if your child is isolated. A computer addiction can cause children to isolate themselves from family members and friends. Take note of your child’s social life and pay attention to the amount of time they spend by themselves using the computer. If they rarely interact with others in person, and turn down invitations so they can stay by the computer, they may have an addiction.^[14]

Pay attention to the way your child handles responsibilities. If your child avoids completing chores or homework in favor of using the computer, they may have an addiction. Though many children would surely rather play a computer game than do the dishes, it becomes a problem when the responsibilities a child has are being completely neglected so that they can continue using the computer.^[15]

Determine if your child’s sleep habits are affected. Some children may stay up late into the night in order to use the computer. Check and see if your child is on the computer when they should be in bed instead. If your child frequently stays up quite late and neglects good sleep habits in order to use the computer, they may have an addiction. Keep in mind that most children who attempt to use their PC at night will use something Hide-Able, like a Phone and will hide it and pretend to be asleep. To combat this, take the phone before bedtime. If that is not an Option, check up on your child every 1 hour until you go to sleep. Once it is late, its likely that your child would have gone to sleep.^[16]