This article was co-authored by wikiHow staff writer, Eric McClure. Eric McClure is an editing fellow at wikiHow where he has been editing, researching, and creating content since 2019. A former educator and poet, his work has appeared in Carcinogenic Poetry, Shot Glass Journal, Prairie Margins, and The Rusty Nail. His digital chapbook, The Internet, was also published in TL;DR Magazine. He was the winner of the Paul Carroll award for outstanding achievement in creative writing in 2014, and he was a featured reader at the Poetry Foundation’s Open Door Reading Series in 2015. Eric holds a BA in English from the University of Illinois at Chicago, and an MEd in secondary education from DePaul University.
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Laughing whenever someone stops speaking is usually a sign of anxiety, but there are several other reasons that you may be laughing too often. You may laugh if you’re nervous, trying to break the tension, daydreaming, or struggling to focus. To stop laughing every time that someone speaks, start by figuring out the cause of the laughter by tracking how you feel when you do it. Then, use pinches, focused breathing, and physical distractions to stop anxious laughter. If you’re struggling to engage in conversations, practice mindful listening techniques by mirroring the speaker’s behavior and asking follow-up questions.
Steps
Diagnosing the Source of Your Laughter
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1Figure out if you’re anxious, nervous or scared when you laugh. Sometimes you just laugh because things are funny. For example, this picture is really funny. It looks crazy and it's so funny you have to laugh at it. People laugh after other people speak for a variety of reasons, and figuring out why you’re laughing will make it easier to stop. Every time that you notice you’re laughing a lot, ask yourself, “How do I feel right now?” If you’re nervous or afraid, the laughter is probably a subconscious defense mechanism against feelings of anxiety or nervousness.[1]
- The best way to avoid laughing when you’re anxious is to develop coping strategies to make social interactions more comfortable for you. There are plenty of preventive measures and physical tricks that you can use to calm your body.
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2Determine if you’re laughing because you aren’t actively listening. Many people laugh when they daydream, don’t know what to say, or find something inappropriate funny. When you find yourself laughing frequently in a conversation, take a moment to self-reflect. If you’re comfortable, relaxed, and don’t have any issue with the conversation itself, the odds are that you’re laughing to fill gaps in the conversation or because you aren’t actually engaged in the conversation.[2]
- If you’re laughing because you picture something funny when people talk, don’t know what to say, or find yourself daydreaming, work on your listening skills and focus on the conversation to avoid laughing.
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3Practice controlling your laughter in one-on-one conversations. It’s a lot harder to be comfortable, focus on listening, and control your impulses in large crowds or social settings. To get a better sense of why you’re laughing so frequently, stick with intimate and private conversations whenever you can. As you identify your triggers and determine what the issue is, you can work your way up to controlling your laughter at larger social gatherings.[3]
- It can be hard to focus on listening when there are a ton of distractions. Sticking with one-on-one conversations will help limit the amount of background noise so you can focus on the interaction.
Tip: This is particularly important if your laughter is the result of anxiety or fear. Large crowds and public speaking tend to exacerbate negative feelings when it comes to nerves.
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4Consult a doctor if you’re laughing uncontrollably for no reason. If you really can’t stop yourself from laughing and can’t figure out why you’re doing it, consult a doctor. You may have something called an involuntary emotional expression disorder (IEED), which can be treated with medication and therapy. Symptoms of IEED include excessive crying, irritability, mood swings, and a lack of restraint.[4]
- Seeing a psychiatrist and engaging in talk therapy can help you cope with the symptoms of IEED.
- In extreme cases, doctors may prescribe antidepressants to calm your emotional responses and manage the symptoms of the disorder.
Stopping a Nervous or Anxious Laugh
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1Slow your breathing down as soon as you start laughing. If you feel an inappropriate laugh coming on, focus on your breathing. Close your lips and slowly inhale for 2-3 seconds through your nose. Then, exhale slowly through your lips as you purse them together. Continue this process until you’re inhaling for 5 seconds and exhaling for 5 seconds. Controlling your breathing will make it difficult to laugh while giving your body something else to focus on.[5]
- If you don’t want people to notice that you’re doing this, bend down and act like you’re tying your shoe or turn away and act like you’re responding to a text message.
Tip: This is the most efficient way to prevent anxious laughing. As you slow your breathing, your heart rate will naturally decrease and you’ll find it easier to calm down. Actively pursing your lips will also make it hard for you to make the facial expression required to laugh.
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2Pinch yourself to redirect your impulse to break out in laughter. On an inconspicuous section of your arm or leg, pinch your skin right before you feel like you’re going to laugh. Pinch hard enough to feel it, but not so hard that you cause yourself extreme pain. This physical sensation will redirect your impulse to laugh, and you’ll find it easier to stay quiet.
- Pinching yourself is a great way to avoid laughing at inappropriate or serious comments that don’t merit laughter.
- Instead of pinching yourself, you can bite your lip or curl your toes before leaning forward on them.
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3Tuck your thumb in your fist and squeeze to distract yourself. If you think you may laugh in the upcoming conversation, take your thumb and tuck it into your palm. Then, wrap your other 4 fingers around your thumb to make a fist. Squeeze firmly to distract your body and stop a laugh from happening.
- You can do this on either of your hands—it won’t make much of a difference. You can also do this on both hands if you prefer.
- This is a trick used to stop the gagging impulse if you feel like you might throw up. Activating your arm muscles tenses your chest at the same time, making it harder for your body to contract as you laugh or gag. This makes it a great way to prevent anxious laughter.
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4Look away and focus on something else to avoid eye contact. If you find yourself laughing frequently during an interaction, take a few seconds to stare off into the distance behind the speaker. Find a tree, bird, or building to inspect and look at it for 10-15 seconds. Focus on the object that you’re looking at instead of the speaker until you feel yourself relaxing and zoning out. Then, reenter the conversation after you’ve reset your focus and mood. [6]
- This is a great choice if you’re in a social setting where other people are talking in front of you. It won’t do much help if you’re engaged in a private conversation though, since you’ll be expected to respond at some point and have to maintain focus.
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5Fidget with an object to redirect your anxiety elsewhere. When you’re in an uncomfortable social setting, play with a pen, coin, or scrap of paper to naturally calm yourself. Twirl the item around in your fingers and rub it repeatedly to keep your senses activated. This will give your body a simple action to focus on while you passively listen to someone else, making it harder to break out in laughter every time that someone stops speaking.
- This is not necessarily the best choice if you’re in a professional setting where you aren’t supposed to be fidgeting.
- You can also tap your fingers on something if you don’t have a random item in your pocket.
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6Think of something boring to distract yourself from laughing. Another way to cut back on laughing after every comment is to distract your mind with something boring. You can do this by counting sheep, thinking about household chores, or reciting a random song in your head. Any topic will work so long as it doesn’t trigger laughter.
- This is a great choice if you’re in a situation where you are only supposed to be listening, like if you’re watching a movie or attending a lecture.
Avoiding Laughter by Staying Engaged
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1Use verbal hums or say “ok” to show people you’re listening. Some people passively laugh or chuckle as a form of nonverbal communication to indicate that they’re engaged in the conversation. If you think this is you, start incorporating a different sound or simple, “Ok” after people speak to replace the laughter. A basic, “Mmm” is an easy alternative that won’t require any actual speaking while still showing people that you’re engaged.[7]
- Many of the people who do this laugh to show that they’re engaged because they’re subconsciously nervous about being excluded from a conversation. This tends to be a combination of anxiety and poor listening. Incorporate tricks from both methods if you have an issue with both types of laughter.
- If you want a nonverbal option, consciously nod a little after someone finishes talking.
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2Pretend that you’re trying to memorize what people say as they talk. Another way to stay engaged and avoid giggling while people speak is to try memorizing what people say. As someone starts to talk, repeat each word that they say in your head. Picture each individual word and pretend that you’re trying to memorize it to make a game out of it. The more focused you are on the words, the more likely you are to be engaged without the subconscious need for laughter.[8]
- This is a great trick if you find yourself daydreaming while people talk. This can also help you avoid laughing at inappropriate or innocuous comments.
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3Mirror the tone and facial expressions of the person you’re talking to. Another way to stay engaged and avoid laughing is to mirror the speaker’s behavior. Subtly try to copy the speaker’s tone when replying and focus on their facial expressions to make them easy to duplicate. If they smile, smile back. If they scowl, do the same. Mirroring the speaker’s behavior will also make it easier to gauge when it’s appropriate to laugh.[9]
Warning: For some people, trying to duplicate the speaker’s tone and expression will actually make things worse if they’re naturally prone to giggling at silly stuff. If you find this extremely hard to do or don’t think it actually helps you cut back on laughing, stop trying to mirror the other person’s behavior.
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4Ask clarifying questions to meaningfully engage in the conversation. You can’t laugh after every comment if you have something to say. As someone is speaking, think of a follow-up question or engaging comment that you want to share. Formulate your comment or question in your head, and wait for the other person to stop speaking before sharing it. This will ensure that you remain engaged and don’t have time to laugh after someone stops speaking.[10]
- For example, if someone is talking about their sick dog and they say, “The vet thinks that Fluffy will be okay, but I’m not sure,” ask, “What aren’t you sure about?” or say, “Well, I hope Fluffy is okay. He’s a good dog.” This way, you’re participating instead of observing the conversation.
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5Take a break and leave for a few minutes if you need to relax. If you really feel the laughter building up and you’re struggling to focus, walk away. Say that you need to check your phone or write something down and leave the room for 3-5 minutes. Let any laughter out and control your breathing to reset your body before rejoining the conversation.
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QuestionWhy do I laugh at death?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
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QuestionWhat causes excessive laughing?wikiHow Staff EditorThis answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
Staff AnswerwikiHow Staff EditorStaff AnswerIt’s not uncommon to laugh a lot in response to nervousness, stress, or something that just strikes you as especially funny. But if you find yourself getting uncontrollable laughing attacks often, especially along with other inappropriate emotional reactions (like outburst of crying or anger that are way out of proportion to whatever is going on), talk to your doctor. In rare cases, this can be a symptom of pseudobulbar affect (PBA), a problem in the brain that makes it hard to regulate your emotions properly.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/202108/why-we-laugh-when-were-nervous
- ↑ https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fict.2015.00004/full
- ↑ https://www.thecut.com/2017/12/advice-for-people-who-feel-anxious-in-crowded-spaces.html
- ↑ https://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/involuntary-emotional-expression-disorder-often-misdiagnosed-and-untreated
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/evolution-the-self/202108/why-we-laugh-when-were-nervous
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/anxiety/using-the-five-senses-for-anxiety-relief#using-your-senses
- ↑ https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/wellbeing/how-to-talk-about-health-problems/active-listening
- ↑ https://www.bhf.org.uk/informationsupport/heart-matters-magazine/wellbeing/how-to-talk-about-health-problems/active-listening
- ↑ http://etiquette-ny.com/the-art-of-listening-why-being-a-good-listener-will-improve-your-life-and-how-to-become-one/#
About This Article
Whether you find yourself laughing when you’re feeling anxious, trying to break the tension, daydreaming, or struggling to focus, there are a few simple ways to break this habit. If you feel an inappropriate laugh coming on, close your lips and slowly inhale for 2 to 3 seconds through your nose. Then, exhale slowly through your lips as you purse them together. Continue this process until you feel yourself calm down and the impulse to laugh disappears. Another way to stop laughing is to pinch yourself on your arm or leg, bite your lip, or curl your toes before leaning forward on them. This will help you focus on something other than laughing. If you simply can’t compose yourself, walk away for a few minutes, let your laughter out, then reset before rejoining the conversation. To learn how to fidget with something to avoid laughing, keep reading!
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
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