How to Stop Being a Tomboy

Last Updated: March 16, 2023 References

A tomboy is a girl that has similar behaviors and interests to what is thought to be typical of a boy. Gender stereotypes are generalizations that assume the roles of each gender, but they are untrue and unimportant. You should not try to stop being a tomboy to fit into the standard of your gender. If after careful consideration you decide you want to change, there are several steps you can take to become more feminine. You will need to alter your appearance, behave in a more feminine manner, and engage in activities that are stereotypically feminine.^{[1]
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Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Contemplating the Change in Yourself

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Don't change if unnecessary. You should only change for yourself. Do not change for a guy, parents, friends, etc. If you have carefully thought it through and decide to stop being a tomboy, don’t give up the core parts of your personality .
- Becoming more feminine should not involve a total change in interests, beliefs, or tastes. Alter parts of yourself, but do not change every part of what makes you, you.
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Change for the right reasons. Changing throughout the course of life is natural. It can sometimes be difficult to make the transition into a new you, especially when it comes to knowing where to start. Take time to think about if this change is who you are. Become more feminine only if you would feel more comfortable that way. A few good reasons to change are:^{[2]
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- You feel that your likes and interests are genuinely changing, and you would like to take steps to become comfortable with who you have become.
- You have only acted as a tomboy to please the people in your life. A supportive friend or family member should like you for who you are.
- The way you are acting is harmful to yourself and/or others. In this case, you may not want to stop being a tomboy. It might be best to only change the parts of your personality that do not have a positive impact.
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Evaluate the process of changing. Altering your appearance, behavior, and interests may not be easy. It will require patience and effort. Consider the mental, physical, and potentially, the monetary toll of changing yourself. Decide if becoming more feminine is worth it. The change may be or may not be rewarding in the end.^{[3]
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- Some positive outcomes might include feeling happier on a daily basis, feeling more comfortable with your appearance, and being more confident, especially around other people.
- Negative impacts could be insecurity caused by discomfort in your looks and personality, the daily stress of being out of your comfort zone, and a lack of money to buy new clothes and accessories.

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Altering Your Appearance

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Wear girly clothes. Bright colors, floral patterns, dresses, skirts, and fitted clothing is considered to be feminine. Invest in clothing that appeals to your taste, but falls within the feminine category. The easiest way to make sure you are purchasing feminine clothing is stay in the women’s section of the store, and bring a friend that has “girlier” taste.^{[4]
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- Keep in mind that “girly” clothes does not mean only girls can wear them. These clothes may have been labeled as girly, but they are okay for any gender to wear.
- Feminine colors are considered to be pink, lavender, yellow, lime green, red, and pastel shades.
- Black dresses are a go-to outfit for formal events and evenings out.
- Tight leggings, skinny jeans, and denim shorts are good options if you do not like skirts or dresses.
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Obtain makeup and cosmetic products. Wearing makeup is not required, but people that desire a more feminine look often wear makeup. The basic makeup products to own are foundation, lipstick, eyeliner, blush, and eye shadow. The type of makeup you choose depends on your skin tone, and how natural you would like your makeup to look.^{[5]
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- Go to a store that specializes in makeup and ask an employee for help.
- Look up tutorials on the internet for how to apply makeup properly.
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Remove facial and body hair. There are plenty of women out there that choose to keep their facial and body hair, but it is often thought to be more feminine if you remove it. Remove leg, underarm, and any unwanted facial hair.^{[6]
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- You can choose to shave or wax your hair. Make sure you follow the correct instructions, and get help if necessary before removing any hair.
- Tweeze any stray eyebrow hairs.
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Change your hairstyle. Feminine haircuts and styles come in all different lengths and forms. The most stereotypical feminine hairstyle, however, is usually long. Grow your hair to at least shoulder length. Wear it down, or in a cute updo.^{[7]
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- Look up hair tutorials online.
- Straighten or curl your hair for a conventional “girly” hairstyle.
- Accessorize with bows, ribbons, and headbands.
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Accessorize. Accessorizing is a quick and easy way to take on a more feminine appearance. There are plenty of ways to accessorize. Some of these ways include:^{[8]
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- Paint your nails. Stick to light shades, or bright red.
- Carry a purse or clutch instead of a backpack.
- Wear jewelry. Earrings, bracelets, necklaces, watches, and rings are staples of jewelry.
- Wear items that complement your outfit, like pantyhose, belts, sunglasses, and high heels.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Behaving with Femininity

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Choose a feminine role model. Find a person that is feminine, graceful, and intelligent. This can be a family member, friend, teacher, or celebrity. Study their style, behavior, and interests. A role model will make it easier to learn what being feminine is like.
- Don’t act in a stalker-like manner. Be respectful of the person you choose to make your role model. If possible, ask for the permission and guidance of the person you choose. Try to approach the person politely and say “I admire the way you appear and act. I have been working on strengthening some of those qualities in myself. Would you mind giving me some advice to do so?”
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Read women’s magazines. Women’s magazines are usually aimed towards the feminine type. Picking up a magazine is an easy and educational way to learn how to be “girlier.” Reading a women’s magazine will keep you up-to-date on fashion, style tips, relationship advice, and trends.^{[9]
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- Some popular women’s magazines are Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Elle, Allure, and Glamour.^{[10]
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Mind your manners. Behavior such as burping, farting, slouching, and swearing are thought to be masculine traits, although they are generally inappropriate. Having good manners is a positive trait, and it is a feminine quality. Work on things like improving your posture, refraining from swearing, and being polite.^{[11]
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- You shouldn’t mind your manners just because of your gender. Manners are important for any gender.
- Avoid confrontation. Picking fights with others is not a good quality overall, but it is especially unfeminine.
- Keep up good hygiene . Make sure to shower daily, keep your hair washed and conditioned, and keep your living space clean.
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Be confident. Feeling confident is one of the most important qualities to have for your overall well-being. Confidence is also something that others are drawn to and find admirable. Acting in a feminine manner should not lessen your confidence. If anything, you should feel more confident because you are becoming the person you want to be. Some ways to be more confident are:^{[12]
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- Expect success and for other people to like you. Success is not guaranteed, but having a positive mindset will help you get to where you want to be.
- Embrace what you don’t know. Unfamiliar experiences can be scary, but instead of fearing them, think of them as learning experiences. You may or may not like what the unknown brings. Either way, remember that you are in control of how you react to what happens to you.
- Accept praise. Don’t demure when people compliment you for who you are and who you are becoming. Accept the compliments as genuine and thank whoever is complimenting you.
- Be self-aware. You should mine confidence from the traits you were born with. You might be very compassionate, funny, charismatic, and/or intelligent. These traits have nothing to do with being girly or a tomboy. These traits are within you no matter how you dress or what your interests are.
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Be fun and flirtatious. You do not have to be boring and mild-mannered to be feminine. Some things you can do to be fun and flirtatious are:^{[13]
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- Wink at the person you are flirting with.
- Keep smiling.
- Compliment the person’s appearance and/or personality.
- Be exciting. Suggest fun things to do.
- Have a sense of humor. Tell jokes and find the humor in every situation.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Taking Part in Feminine Hobbies

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Learn to dance. Dancing is a great skill for anyone to learn. It can be a sexy, girly, and sometimes, classy, activity. There are many types of dance that appeal to different personality types and interests. You can learn to ballroom dance, salsa, or even do ballet.^{[14]
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- Check into dance studios in your area for information on dance classes.
- Look up dance classes on YouTube. They are free and made for every level of experience.
- Turn on music and practice dancing in your room.
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Take a yoga class. Yoga is a feminine and highly rewarding form of exercise that is good for both mind and body. Taking a yoga class is great for relaxation, core strength, and flexibility. A yoga class is also a great place to meet other women.^{[15]
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- Look up yoga classes in your area.
- Search for yoga classes on the internet.
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Learn to make jewelry. Jewelry-making is a great way to get in touch with your femininity. Creating jewelry is a fun way to express yourself, and create items to wear that reflects your personal taste. It is also a good way to acquire jewelry if you do not currently own any.^{[16]
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- Search craft stores for jewelry-making supplies.
- Look for glittery and colorful beads.
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Take up knitting. Knitting is traditionally a feminine activity, though anyone can do it. With knitting you can create items like sweaters, scarves, mittens, or hats. It is a great creative outlet, and it is very satisfying to complete a project. Knitting clothing can make a great gift, or it can be a way to add feminine clothing to your wardrobe. ^{[17]
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- Buy knitting supplies at your local craft store.
- Choose soft colors like pink, yellow, and blue for yarn.

Community Q&A

Question

How do you make friends?

Community Answer

Try talking to people that you see at school, church, or work. Be kind, ask questions about the people you are trying to get to know, and most of all, be yourself. You should only want friends that like you for who you are. Here is some more advice on how to make friends: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Friends
Question

I want to be more girly. I don't want to impress a boy.

Community Answer

That's great! You should become more girly for yourself and no one else. A person that is becoming girly may want advice for how to talk to a boy or girl, but if that is not what you want, don't apply that advice to yourself.
Question

Why would someone want to stop being a tomboy?

Community Answer

It is natural for people to change throughout time. A tomboy is a great personality type, but a person may feel that he or she no longer identifies as a tomboy. Taking steps to become more comfortable in a new personality type is okay, as long you do not it for yourself.

Warnings

Don’t change every part of yourself. You don’t have to give up liking sports or hanging out with certain friends.

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Don’t engage in any harmful behavior, like eating disorders.

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You can choose to skip out on changing your overall appearance. Being feminine does not exclusively have to do with appearance.

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