How to Stop Being Sad

Many people report bouts of sadness at some point in their lives. Sadness, which can be everything from feeling “blue” to having clinical depression, can affect how you feel, think and behave.[1] Having some sadness is normal, but being constantly sad may cause other emotional and physical problems.[2] Sadness can be managed by altering your thought processes, trying lifestyle changes or seeking help from a mental health professional.

Method 1
Method 1 of 4:

Changing Your Patterns

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    Learn how to stop ruminating. Ruminating is when you repeatedly think about a negative thought. You might replay a conversation or think about a bad memory to the point of obsession.[3] Ruminating causes more negative thoughts and emotions to arise, so the more you do it, the worse you'll feel. Ruminating too much can eventually lead to depression. [4] Try the following to stop ruminating:
    • Work to solve the problems you're ruminating over.[5] For example, if you can't stop thinking about how much you need a job, make a job search to-do list and start tackling the items one by one.
    • Practice positive self-reflection.If you spend a lot of time thinking about your negative traits, interrupt your thoughts with self-praise. Tell yourself, "I did a great job on that project," or "I tried my best during that conversation."
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    Learn to forgive. Holding grudges and thinking about yourself in a negative light can exacerbate feelings of sadness. Being able to forgive and let go may allow you to begin to feel happy.[6]
    • The act of forgiveness will remove negative attitudes and create space for positive attitudes. It will also decrease stress, which can make feelings of sadness worse, and increase peace and calm in your life.[7]
    • Scientists are currently studying ways in which a person can learn forgiveness, but have suggested that therapy and accepting restitution or apologies can help a person forgive others.[8]
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    Manage your stress level. Stress can contribute significantly to sadness. Avoiding stressful situations whenever possible may help you begin to overcome feelings of sadness.
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    Seek the positive in life. Negative thoughts and attitudes can increase feelings of sadness and isolation. Seeking out the positive in yourself, others, and in situations may help you to overcome feelings of sadness.[13]
    • Even in the worst situations, there is usually some positive aspect. It might take some time to recognize, but being able to see the positive may help you avoid negativity that encourages sadness.
    • One study showed that a positive attitude contributes to success more than anything else, including knowledge or skills.[14]
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    Surround yourself with positive and happy people. Supportive people can often put things in perspective and help you to feel less sad. Participate in activities with positive individuals or groups as often as you are able.[15]
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    Get regular exercise. Regular activity is an important part of staying mentally and physically healthy because it increases the levels of serotonin in your brain. Try and get some form of exercise every day to stop feeling sad.[16]
    • Even small amount of exercise is good and can help you feel better. For example, a ten minute walk can relax you and give you a chance to embrace what is happy in your life.[17]
    • Exercise produces endorphins that can improve your mood and help you sleep.[18]
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    Consider daily meditation. Meditation is a powerful way to improve focus and relax. Allot a few minutes of every day to meditate, which may help you feel less sad.[19]
    • Meditation forces you to unplug from the world. Having this unplugged time can teach you to concentrate and relax, and may help you feel happier.[20]
    • Start with 5-10 minutes of meditation daily and gradually increase your time as you become more proficient at meditating.[21]
    • Find a quiet and comfortable place where you’ll be uninterrupted. By eliminating any distractions, it is easier to focus on your breath and let go of any sad thoughts or sensations that arise.
    • Sit upright and still and close your eyes. Proper posture is a vital part of meditation. It allows your breath and blood to flow, which helps your brain learn to focus on one point. Closing your eyes will help keep distractions at bay.[22]
    • Breathe easily and evenly. Don’t control your breath; rather, let it come and go. An excellent technique to help your concentration is to focus solely on your breath by saying “let” on the inhale and “go” on the exhale.[23]
    • Regular mindfulness sessions can also be helpful.[24]
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    Treat yourself to a massage. Sadness and associated tension cause physical changes in your body. A massage can remove tension and stimulate the production of oxytocin, a hormone that encourages social connections. [25] A professional massage or even one at home may be able to help improve your mood and make you feel better overall.[26]
    • There are many types of massage available, but any type of touch may benefit you.[27]
    • You can locate a qualified massage therapists either online or through a doctor’s recommendation.[28]
    • If you can’t get to a professional massage therapist, try self-massage. Rubbing your face or even just massaging your ears can make you feel better and relax you.[29]
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    Eat properly. Bad nutrition can make sadness or depression worse. Eating healthy foods will not only help your overall well-being, but may combat sadness and stress.[30]
    • Foods like asparagus, which has the mood-enhancing nutrient folic acid, can help alleviate stress.[31]
    • Foods high in Vitamin B, such as avocados, also help relieve stress, which may help you feel less sad.[32]
    • A glass of warm milk can help insomnia and anxiety, which can exacerbate feelings of sadness.[33]
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    Avoid alcoholic beverages and drugs. It’s advisable to avoid all alcohol and recreational drugs. Using these substances may momentarily make you feel better, but in the long run, they can make you feel worse and make depression harder to treat.[34]
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    Get enough sleep. Every person needs sleep in order to maintain physical and mental health.[35] Make it a priority to get 7-9 hours of sleep every night to help relieve your feelings of sadness.[36]
    • Increased stress and depression are negative consequences of insufficient sleep.[37]
    • Short naps of 20-30 minutes may also help you feel better.[38] However, be aware that protracted naps or sleeping can be a sign of serious depression.[39]
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Method 2
Method 2 of 4:

Learning to Process Sadness

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    Reflect on why you're sad. Sadness is a normal reaction to many life events and ongoing situations. You may feel sad when you experience loss, when your feelings get hurt, or when things don't go your way. Understanding the source of your sadness can help you begin to process the feeling and deal with it in a healthy way. Here are some common reasons people experience sadness:[40]
    • Loss of a friendship or another close relationship
    • Death of a loved one, or separation from a loved one
    • Bullying
    • Low self-esteem
    • Hearing about a tragedy
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    Notice how you feel when you're sad. Being sad doesn't feel good, so it's tempting to try to push the feeling away instead of taking a closer look. However, identifying the feeling of sadness will help you isolate it from your other emotions. Looking sadness square in the face will help you notice when the feeling starts and ends, making it easier to handle.[41]
    • You might experience sadness as a physical sensation. Maybe your arms and legs feel heavy or you have an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of your stomach. You might feel lethargic, too.
    • It can help to picture sadness as an image. You've probably heard people describe feeling a "wave of sadness." Try picturing sadness in your own way. It could be a towering wave or a deep, dark pool. If you're not sure what it is, it might help to draw a picture of how sadness makes you feel.
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    Learn to accept the feeling and ride it out. Recognize when sadness comes, and allow yourself to accept the feeling instead of pushing it away. If it's a wave, let it wash over you without resisting. Think about what's making you sad and realize that your feelings are valid.
    • A normal bout of sadness can last just a few minutes or much longer, depending on the reason why you're sad.
    • As you process the sadness, recognize when it comes to a natural end. Pay attention to when you feel a little lighter, and you're able to turn your attention to a new emotion.
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    Have a plan for when sadness hits. Next time you feel sadness, recognize that it's an emotion that will come and go, just like other emotions. It can help to have a plan for what you'll do during and after the bout of sadness, so you know this is something you can handle.
    • When you start to feel sad, you may want to go to a certain place where you have some privacy. There, you can call up the image of sadness that you constructed - a wave, a pool, or whatever image you came up with. Let yourself feel sad.
    • Plan to do something else when the sadness starts to recede. You might want to call a friend, go for a walk, or do something else to help you move past the sadness.
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    Look for signs of depression. When sadness doesn't go away and make room for other emotions, it could be a sign that you are depressed. Depression is when you have a low, sad mood that lasts longer than two weeks and interferes with your life. With depression, just processing your sadness won't be enough to manage your feelings in a positive way. Making lifestyle changes and seeking professional help are the best ways to manage depression. If you have depression, you may have one or more of the following symptoms:
    • Feelings of sadness and anxiety
    • Feelings of worthlessness or low self-esteem
    • Negative thought patterns and feelings of hopelessness
    • Low energy level
    • Changes in appetite and weight
    • Changes in sleep patterns
    • Suicidal thoughts
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Method 3
Method 3 of 4:

Seeking Professional Help

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    Consult a therapist or psychologist. If you find that you cannot overcome your sadness on your own, talk with a mental health professional. A trained therapist or psychologist can work with you to learn new ways of thinking and coping. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is an approach that has been shown to give people to the tools to handle depression.
    • This practice focuses on using techniques to help people focus on the present, rather than getting carried away with negative thoughts.
    • It can be used in conjunction with medication as well.
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    Talk with a psychiatrist about antidepressant medications. In some cases, people suffering from sadness or depression begin to feel better by taking medication.[42] Antidepressants can help alleviate chronic feelings of sadness or depression.[43]
    • Your doctor may prescribe a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRIs), such as fluoxetine, paroxetine, sertraline, citalopram, and escitalopram. SSRIs generally cause fewer side effects than other antidepressant drugs.[44]
    • Your doctor may prescribe serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs) such as duloxetine, venlafaxine , desvenlafaxine, and levomilnacipran.[45]
    • Norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitors (NDRIs), such as bupropion, are not generally associated with the sexual side effects of other anti-depressants.[46]
    • Tricyclic antidepressants are generally prescribed when other anti-depressants haven’t worked. These drugs-- including imipramine, nortriptyline, amitriptyline, doxepin, trimipramine, desipramine, and protriptyline—can have significant side effects.[47]
    • Monoamine oxidase inhibitors (MAOIs) are a last resort antidepressant. MAOIs, such tranylcypromine, phenelzine, and isocarboxazid, are also generally prescribed when nothing else works. Be aware these drugs can have serious side effects.[48]
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    Consider alternative treatments. You and your care providers may want to consider other treatment options if medications and lifestyle remedies are not working. From hospital stays to transcranial magnetic stimulation, these alternative treatment options may help you stop feeling sad.[49]
    • If you are not able to properly care for yourself, you and your doctor may want to consider a hospital stay or outpatient day treatment to help you deal with your depression.[50]
    • Electroconvulsive therapy, or ECT, is a surgical procedure in which electrical currents are passed to the brain to improve brain function.[51] ECT comes with minimal side effects and can relieve severe depression immediately.[52]
    • Transcranial magnetic stimulation, or TMS, is an option for those who haven’t responded to antidepressants.[53] For this procedure, a treatment coil is placed against your scalp and sends magnetic pulses to stimulate your nerve cells that are involved in mood regulation.[54]
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Method 4
Method 4 of 4:

Finding a Healthy Perspective

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    Let go of sad feelings once they've run their course. When you feel sad about a particular event or problem, it's hard to just make the feeling go away. Once you've given yourself time to fully experience the sadness, the load should start to lighten. You can help the sadness recede more quickly by staying healthy, talking it out, and using other methods that help you stop feeling sad. When the sadness is ready to go away, it will.
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    Avoid ignoring persistent sad feelings. Sometimes, no matter what you try, you can't stop feeling sad. Distracting yourself or trying to escape from the feeling will only set you further back. If you've been sad for awhile and you don't know why, or if your sadness seems to be stuck, talk to someone who can help. Even though there probably won't be a quick fix, working through your sadness with a therapist trained to help will be the best way to overcome it in the long run.
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    What is the purpose of mindfulness?
    Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
    Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Dr. Nicole Moshfegh is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Author based in Los Angeles, California. Dr. Moshfegh specializes in multicultural competence and treating patients with mood and anxiety disorders and insomnia. She holds a BA in Psychology and Social Behavior from The University of California, Irvine (UCI), and an MA and Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Pepperdine University. Dr. Moshfegh completed her predoctoral internship and postdoctoral fellowship at The University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). Additionally, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, National Register of Health Service Psychologists, Los Angeles County Psychological Association, and Collaborative Family Healthcare Association. Dr. Moshfegh is also the best-selling author of "The Book of Sleep: 75 Strategies to Relieve Insomnia".
    Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
    Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist
    Expert Answer
    Mindfulness helps you slow things down and be more present in the current moment. Through mindfulness, you can respond to your feelings in a reflective, compassionate way. It can even help you regulate your emotions over time.
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References

  1. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977
  2. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977
  3. ↑ http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov05/cycle.aspx
  4. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/01/20/why-ruminating-is-unhealthy-and-how-to-stop/
  5. ↑ http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2011/01/20/why-ruminating-is-unhealthy-and-how-to-stop/
  6. ↑ http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/how-to-change-negative-attitudes-to-positive-ones.html
  7. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/alternative-medicine/con-20032977
  8. ↑ http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_new_science_of_forgiveness
  9. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/coping-support/con-20032977
  1. ↑ Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 5 August 2021.
  2. ↑ Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 5 August 2021.
  3. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/coping-support/con-20032977
  4. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/coping-support/con-20032977
  5. ↑ http://www.crosswalk.com/faith/women/how-to-change-negative-attitudes-to-positive-ones.html
  6. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/coping-support/con-20032977
  7. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  8. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  9. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  10. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  11. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  12. ↑ http://www.ananda.org/meditation/getting-started/meditation-basics/
  13. ↑ http://www.ananda.org/meditation/getting-started/meditation-basics/
  14. ↑ http://www.ananda.org/meditation/getting-started/meditation-basics/
  15. ↑ Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 5 August 2021.
  16. ↑ https://www.amtamassage.org/approved_position_statements/Massage-Can-Reduce-Symptoms-of-Depression.html
  17. ↑ https://www.amtamassage.org/approved_position_statements/Massage-Can-Reduce-Symptoms-of-Depression.html
  18. ↑ https://www.amtamassage.org/approved_position_statements/Massage-Can-Reduce-Symptoms-of-Depression.html
  19. ↑ https://www.amtamassage.org/approved_position_statements/Massage-Can-Reduce-Symptoms-of-Depression.html
  20. ↑ http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/signs/muscle-tension
  21. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  22. ↑ http://www.mensfitness.com/nutrition/what-to-eat/eat-to-beat-stress-10-foods-that-reduce-anxiety/slide/2
  23. ↑ http://www.mensfitness.com/nutrition/what-to-eat/eat-to-beat-stress-10-foods-that-reduce-anxiety/slide/3
  24. ↑ http://www.mensfitness.com/nutrition/what-to-eat/eat-to-beat-stress-10-foods-that-reduce-anxiety/slide/6
  25. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  26. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  27. ↑ https://www.sleepfoundation.org/articles/how-much-sleep-do-we-really-need
  28. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  29. ↑ http://healthysleep.med.harvard.edu/healthy/getting/overcoming/tips
  30. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/lifestyle-home-remedies/con-20032977
  31. ↑ Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 5 August 2021.
  32. ↑ Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist. Expert Interview. 5 August 2021.
  33. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977
  34. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/definition/con-20032977
  35. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  36. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  37. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  38. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  39. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  40. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  41. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  42. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  43. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  44. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977
  45. ↑ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/basics/treatment/con-20032977

About This Article

Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
Co-authored by:
Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
This article was co-authored by Nicole Moshfegh, PsyD. Dr. Nicole Moshfegh is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and Author based in Los Angeles, California. Dr. Moshfegh specializes in multicultural competence and treating patients with mood and anxiety disorders and insomnia. She holds a BA in Psychology and Social Behavior from The University of California, Irvine (UCI), and an MA and Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Pepperdine University. Dr. Moshfegh completed her predoctoral internship and postdoctoral fellowship at The University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). Additionally, she is a member of the American Psychological Association, National Register of Health Service Psychologists, Los Angeles County Psychological Association, and Collaborative Family Healthcare Association. Dr. Moshfegh is also the best-selling author of "The Book of Sleep: 75 Strategies to Relieve Insomnia". This article has been viewed 471,824 times.
9 votes - 78%
Co-authors: 69
Updated: October 5, 2022
Views: 471,824
Categories: Sadness

Medical Disclaimer

The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.

Article SummaryX

If you want to stop being sad, try not to ruminate too much on negative thoughts that will only make you feel worse. When you feel stuck in your negative thoughts, practice positive self-reflection by telling yourself something like, "I did a great job on that project," or, "I tried my best during that conversation." As a result, you'll be reminded of your positive traits, instead of only thinking about the negatives. Furthermore, make sure to manage your stress levels by stepping back from any stressful situations you can currently avoid. If you have a busy schedule, plan relaxation time and include it on your daily to-do list. However, if you notice signs of depression, such as a low energy level, low self-esteem, or feelings of hopelessness, consult a therapist or psychologist for further guidance. For more tips from our co-author, like how to manage your stress levels, read on.

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