How to Spy on Your Man

Co-authored by Tara Vossenkemper, PhD, LPC

Last Updated: July 7, 2022

Do you sometimes suspect your relationship is too good to be true? Do you ever question what your man is up to? If you feel the need to spy on your man and invade his privacy, go ahead, but be ready to answer his questions about your behaviour. Do remember that foundation of every relationship is trust.

Steps

1
Question what your man is telling you. Some men are liars and will lie to your face, consistently they think that they can always get away with it! Are there any indications that he is lying? To find out the truth, you can spy and then you can decide whether to make or break your relationship. Once you accept the fact that you are being lied to and that your man is sneaky and devious, you can move on.
2
Make his phone your best friend. Believe it or not but some men have everything on their phones! Check to see if there are any apps downloaded on his phone that look funny or fishy. You would be surprised that an app that looks like a game can really be an app for hidden audio and text messages and stuff!^{[1]
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Research source} So keep that in mind and have an eye on what is downloaded on his phone!

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3
Check to see if he has social media or snap chat. You know that there may be nasty girls who will send pics of themselves naked to him privately and you wouldn't know. Like Instagram now has the direct message thing where they can send private pics back and forth. You should check out who has been sending him messages.
4
Check if he takes his phone with him to the bathroom and safe guards it all day.
5
Does he go to sleep and let his phone die so that he won't have to worry about you going through it while he sleeps? If he does that all the time, you can make the assumption that he IS hiding something. If he leaves it around only once in a blue moon, it could be because he has deleted everything and he isn't worried.
6
Check and see if the numbers in his phone are really the people that he has them saved under! Keep mental notes of the phone numbers because for all you know, he has his friend James, for example, in his phone and its really Jennifer!^{[2]
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Research source}
7
Consider, does he always stay on late at work on certain days and is he always picking up shifts supposedly? You need to check on that because they can pretend to be picking up a shift so that you would not be suspicious if they are gone all day! Get your butt in the car and you need to stake out! You even get a chance to see who he is going out for lunch with.
8
Find out if he goes to the bars every week. You can almost guarantee that they are getting numbers, not saying all the time (depending on much of a POS that he is) but they may be flirting and getting numbers! They make excuses and blame it on the liquor. Don't accept lies from your man.
9
Put an old cell phone in his car or tape recorder under their seat in their car and they will never know that you are listening to their conversation. You never know who they are talking to on their way home from work or anywhere!
10
Don't drive yourself crazy and go commando on them. Just make sure that you pay attention to the small details that they think you aren't paying attention to! You don't want to live on a lie and so don't waste your time anymore and move on with life. That way you don't have to worry about any of this.
11
At the end of the day, you decide what you want to do but remember a man will disrespect you only if you allow him to! When you forgive them are back with them and catch them again, they will make it seem like its your fault by saying "Well, you stay with me so why shouldn't I cheat?"
12
Remember, "to catch a player, you have to be a player."

Community Q&A

Question

How do I stop my husband from cheating?

Community Answer

If you really feel that you cannot trust your husband not to cheat on you, get a divorce. If you're unable or unwilling to do this, go to couple's counseling and talk about your trust issues.

Warnings

If you are caught, it could destroy your relationship.

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Do not spy on your man to find evidence he is cheating on the basis of a hunch.

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