Friends can bring comfort, joy, and happiness into your life when they’re there for the right reasons. But bad friends can do the opposite, bringing stress and anxiety with them everywhere they go. If you think you might have a toxic friend, read through these common signs to figure it out for certain.

1

Everything is about them.

  1. Even the most random, neutral topics become about your friend. You can test this by bringing up something that has nothing to do with either of you. If your friend somehow turns the conversation back toward themselves, they might not be a great person to hang around.[1]
    • They might also latch onto your experiences and talk about themselves. For example, if you’re expressing that you’re having a tough time because your mom is in the hospital, your friend might start talking about how they’re having a hard time because they failed a math test.
4

They constantly criticize you.

  1. And not in a helpful way, either. While it’s fine for friends to offer some constructive feedback every now and then, constantly blurting out hurtful things is pretty toxic. If you find yourself being hurt or offended often, there’s a good chance your friendship isn’t working.[4]
    • You also might feel like you can’t criticize them at all, which shows an imbalance within the friendship.
    • A healthy friendship is one where both people have respect for each other and their boundaries. If you feel that your friend regularly disregards your boundaries, or makes you engage in activities or situations that you don’t feel comfortable in, it may be time to evaluate that friendship.
7

They demand all of your time.

  1. They probably don’t want you to hang out with anyone else. They might call or text you at all hours of the day just to chat. If you’re feeling smothered or like you don’t have a life outside of their friendship, it’s time to take a step back.[7]
    • The reverse can also be true: if you feel like you’re constantly the one to reach out and make plans, it might not be a great friendship.
    • A balanced relationship should be the aspirational goal, and both parties should feel they are reaching out and contributing to the friendship.

Expert Q&A

  • Question
    Why is it hard to end a toxic friendship?
    Jin S. Kim, MA
    Jin S. Kim, MA
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
    Jin Kim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based out of Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ individuals, people of color, and those that may have challenges related to reconciling multiple and intersectional identities. Jin received his Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles, with a specialization in LGBT-Affirming Psychology, in 2015.
    Jin S. Kim, MA
    Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
    Expert Answer
    Well, ending any relationship is uncomfortable and hard, even when it is necessary. Once a relationship has been identified as toxic, it is imperative to end it in order to protect yourself. Do not simply cut out the other person, though. Have a frank discussion and express your feelings respectfully before ending it.

About this article

Jin S. Kim, MA
Co-authored by:
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
This article was co-authored by Jin S. Kim, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Jin Kim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based out of Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ individuals, people of color, and those that may have challenges related to reconciling multiple and intersectional identities. Jin received his Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles, with a specialization in LGBT-Affirming Psychology, in 2015. This article has been viewed 5,195 times.
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Updated: June 22, 2022
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