This article was co-authored by Jin S. Kim, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Glenn Carreau. Jin Kim is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist based out of Los Angeles, California. Jin specializes in working with LGBTQ individuals, people of color, and those that may have challenges related to reconciling multiple and intersectional identities. Jin received his Masters in Clinical Psychology from Antioch University Los Angeles, with a specialization in LGBT-Affirming Psychology, in 2015.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Your know your girlfriend is amazing, but how do you communicate that to her in words? Figuring out how to verbally express gratitude can be tough, but there are lots of ways you can speak up and let her know. Read on for a list of great ways to communicate your appreciation through both words and actions!
Steps
Say “Thank you.”
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A simple “thank you” can go a long way. If you feel thankful in the moment, remind yourself to express that sentiment out loud to your girlfriend, too.[1] X Expert Source Jin S. Kim, MA
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 14 May 2019. Each time your girlfriend does you a favor or offers her help, thank her sweetly and sincerely.[2] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source For example:- “I just want you to know how grateful I am for everything you do. You’re always ready to support me, and I can’t thank you enough.”
- “You put so much thought and care into everything we do together. It makes me grateful that you’re my girlfriend.”
Appreciate the little things she does.
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Show her that you notice the everyday details, too. Pointing out the little things she does shows your girlfriend that you're paying attention and you don't take anything for granted.[3] X Expert Source Jin S. Kim, MA
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 14 May 2019. When you call attention to her efforts, add as much detail as you can.[4] X Research source- “Thank you for making breakfast today. You even put cinnamon in the coffee and made my favorite pancake flavor! I feel so pampered—and full!”
- “You went above and beyond to make this date night feel special, and I loved every minute of it. The card and gift were such a thoughtful touch. Thank you!”
Give her compliments.
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Compliments will make your girlfriend feel seen and valued. Give her a detailed compliment that goes above and beyond “good job” or “you look nice today.” Tell her why you think she looks great or what makes her special to you.[5] X Expert Source Jin S. Kim, MA
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 14 May 2019. Hearing a heartfelt compliment from you will make her day![6] X Research source- “I love that shirt on you, babe. You always look amazing in green!”
- “Dinner tonight was delicious. You’re a better chef than anybody else I know!”
- “I love having conversations with you. You’re so thoughtful and creative, and you introduce me to new perspectives all the time."
Ask about her life.
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Show her that you're interested in her work, social life, and well-being. Taking the time to talk about her everyday life will mean a lot to her and communicate that you genuinely. She’ll feel even more appreciated if you remember her words in later conversations.[7] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- Make it a habit to ask her, “How was your day?” or send a text on days when you don’t see one another face-to-face.
- Show particular interest in things that you know she values. Ask her how a work project is coming along or what she’s been learning in her painting class. For example, “You mentioned last week that you were thinking of applying for a promotion. Is that still in the works? You deserve it—you’re such a hard worker!”
Be her biggest advocate.
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Offer your girlfriend support during both good times and bad. Be there to talk through problems with her and give encouragement when she needs it. Reassure her you’ll always there to help her in whatever capacity she needs. She'll feel appreciated and supported.[8] X Research source
- “Your goals matter to me, and I want to help you meet them however I can. I believe you can do anything you set your mind to!”
- “I know you’ve been having a tough time at work, but you've got this! If you want to vent or talk it over with me, I’m happy to help however I can.”
Ask her for advice.
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Prove to your girlfriend that you trust her and value her ideas. Tell her things you would only share with someone close to you, like childhood secrets or dilemmas you're facing in the present, and ask for her thoughts.[9] X Research source When you make it clear that she’s someone you trust more than other people in your life, she’ll also feel appreciated.
- “I’m having lunch with my cousin this week and feel conflicted. Something happened when we were kids that I can't forget. Could we talk about it?”
- “My roommates have been driving me crazy lately and I don’t know how to talk to them about it. I’d like to talk the problem over with you, and I trust you to keep this just between us.”
Support her dreams and celebrate her successes.
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Tell her you're proud of her whenever she accomplishes her goals. If your girlfriend is working on herself personally or professionally, congratulate her each time she takes an important step. Let her know how proud you are and that her hard work is inspiring.[10] X Research source For example:
- “Congratulations on your promotion! I’m so proud of you. Can I take you out for a little celebration?”
- “I’m so proud of you for finally talking things out with your mom! I know your relationship has been bothering you lately, and you were brave to step up and say something.”
Tell her that you miss her.
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Make sure your girlfriend knows that you feel her absence. Either send her a text, call her, or schedule a video call to tell her how different life feels when you're apart. You can also randomly tell her you miss her, even if you just saw her yesterday! She'll appreciate both gestures.[11] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- After you see her, you could send a text saying, “I miss you already! 😘”
- When you haven’t seen her for a few days, text her, “I miss seeing your gorgeous face. 😍 Wanna meet up this weekend?”
- You could also say, “I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone this much, but I feel it when you’re not here. I can’t wait for our next date! ❤️”
Offer to help her with chores.
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Lighten her workload as a gesture of appreciation. If she's been working hard or she's feeling stressed, ask if you can handle a chore that she might normally do or run an errand for her.[12] X Expert Source Jin S. Kim, MA
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist Expert Interview. 14 May 2019. If you offer without her having to ask you for help, she'll feel seen and appreciated.[13] X Research source- “You’ve been working hard lately. Can I handle washing dishes for the week so that you can rest?”
- “I know you usually walk the dog in the evenings, but your favorite show is on now! Can I take the dog out so you can relax and watch it?”
Write her a short handwritten note.
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Surprise her by leaving a sweet note in her purse, car, or lunch bag. You could thank her, compliment her, or just tell her how much you care. Handwritten notes are particularly endearing because they take time and thought to complete, which will make your girlfriend feel extra appreciated.[14] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- You might write, "You make me feel like the luckiest guy on earth" or "You're going to slay that exam today. I love you."
- If you find it difficult to open up emotionally face-to-face, take the first step by writing her a longer note. It will be easier to express yourself on paper, and you can still be vulnerable with your girlfriend.
Tell her “I love you.”
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Make sure your girlfriend knows just how special she is to you. You may not feel ready to say “I love you” yet, and that’s perfectly okay. There are other phrases you can use without using the “L” word. If you do say “I love you” to your girlfriend, find other phrases to add some variety.[15] X Trustworthy Source HelpGuide Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources. Go to source
- “I’m crazy about you!”
- “You’re my favorite person to spend time with.”
- “I’m grateful to have a best friend AND partner.”
- “You make me so happy!”
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References
- ↑ Jin S. Kim, MA. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 14 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/cultivating-happiness.htm
- ↑ Jin S. Kim, MA. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 14 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/between-you-and-me/202106/3-ways-improve-how-you-say-thank-you-your-partner
- ↑ Jin S. Kim, MA. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 14 May 2019.
- ↑ https://ideas.ted.com/the-secret-to-giving-a-compliment-that-makes-people-glow/
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/cultivating-happiness.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-refracted/201705/52-ways-show-i-love-you-cheerleading
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201712/10-ways-show-your-partner-youre-in-love
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-refracted/201701/52-ways-show-i-love-you-celebrating
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/cultivating-happiness.htm
- ↑ Jin S. Kim, MA. Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 14 May 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/life-refracted/201702/52-ways-show-i-love-you-helping
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/cultivating-happiness.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/emotional-intelligence-love-relationships.htm