Should I Stop Talking to My Crush? 6 Signs It's Time to Move On

Co-authored by Lisa Shield and Eric McClure

Last Updated: June 16, 2022 References

Are you struggling to figure out if your crush likes you back? Luckily, there are plenty of clues you can look out for to figure out what your next move should be. In this article, we’ll show you the signs that there may or may not be something worth pursuing here. We’ll also cover everything you need to know about making your move, or moving on and getting over them. You’ve got this!

Section 1 of 3:

Signs It’s Time to Move On

1
They talk to you about crushing on someone else. If the person you’re crushing on ever mentions that they’ve got the hots for some other guy or girl, it’s a signal that they probably view you as a friend. If they wanted to go out, they wouldn’t reference other crushes (even if they have them).^{[1]
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- If they talk to you about wanting a boyfriend/girlfriend, that might actually be a good thing. They may be signaling that they want you to make a move!
2
They refer to you as a friend, or their sibling. If they make references to how you’re a “great friend” or they joke about you being their sibling, it’s a sign they don’t want anything romantic. This isn’t to say that you can’t keep being friends, though!^{[2]
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- It is possible for a crush to go away over time, and if you start treating this person like a really good friend, that desire for a relationship may start to fade.
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3
They never hit you up first. If your relationship with them is really one-sided, it might mean that they aren’t into you like that. Ask yourself, how often do they text you without you reaching out first? Do they ask to hang out before you bring it up? If they never take the first step, it could be a sign they aren’t interested in you.^{[3]
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- A real friendship should have some give and take. If it just generally feels like they don’t give as much as you do, that feeling is probably a sign.
4
They don’t “play along” if you try to flirt or compliment them. If you ever compliment the way they look, try to hold a hug for longer than you normally would, or say something really flirty, watch their reaction. If they shy away, don’t seem into it, or physically move away from you, it’s a huge sign they aren’t into it.^{[4]
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- Take their personality into account here. If they’re a super shy person, they may just be really bad at handling compliments/flirting.
5
They’re wishy-washy and fluctuate between interested and distant. If they act super into you when you’re texting one night but then act totally dismissive when you see them the next day, it could mean they’re just stringing you along. Someone who is genuinely available and interested won’t send mixed signals if there’s an opportunity to hang out or talk.^{[5]
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- Some people aren’t in the emotional space to form a real relationship with someone they’re interested in. This kind of hot-and-cold behavior has more to do with them than you.
- If your crush doesn’t respond after 2 texts, it’s a clear sign to give them some space. The ball is in their court now, and following up might make you seem desperate.
6
Your friends tell you to look for love somewhere else. If any of your friends know about your crush and they suggest you might want to let it go, that means something. Your friends want the best for you, and if they can tell it’s not going to happen, they’ll try to nudge you in the right direction.^{[6]
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Section 2 of 3:

Signs It’s Still Worth Pursuing Them

1
They “accidentally” touch or brush up against you in person. When you see them in person, do they get really touchy with you? If so, it means they’re comfortable around you. Even if they don’t have a crush per se, at least there’s an opening here for you two to build a romantic connection.^{[7]
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Research source} Other signs include:
- Holding eye contact and looking at you when they think you aren’t looking.
- Leaning in when you talk, or pointing their shoes at you when you’re in a group of people.
- They blush or twirl their hair when the two of you talk.
2
They go out of their way to hang out and talk with you. If they make an obvious effort to interact with you, it means they enjoy having you around. It doesn’t automatically mean they’re crushing on you, but it definitely means that there’s room here for the two of you to develop something romantic.^{[8]
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- If you’ve ever gone to a party and your crush was also there, did they spend a large percentage of the party hanging out with you specifically? If so, they’ve probably got some feelings for you.
3
They mirror your behavior and emotions. Mirroring is when you intentionally reflect another person’s actions and feelings so that they feel connected to you. If they sympathize and act bummed out when you’re sad, or if they get super hyped when you’re in a really good mood, your crush is mirroring you. This is a big sign they’re interested!^{[9]
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4
They ask a lot of questions about whether you like someone. Questions about your love life are a massive signal that they have a crush on you. Friends may occasionally ask if you’re dating someone, but a consistent interest in the subject means quite a bit—especially if they ask a lot of follow-up questions about the way you feel.^{[10]
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- If this happens frequently and you want to test the waters, try answering their question with, “I think I’m developing feelings for someone” and look at them. If they like you, they’ll pick up on what you’re putting down.

Section 3 of 3:

What can I do to get over my crush?

1
Try to cut back on how often you see them. If you were going out of your way to talk to this person every day, stop pushing so hard to make that happen. Unless you really can’t stand to be around them, don’t ghost them or disappear. Don’t go out of your way to see them or anything, but be nice, friendly, and let them reach out first if you still want to talk sometimes.^{[11]
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- Stay off of their social media pages. You don’t need to block them or anything like that, but don’t go out of your way to check in on what they’re doing.
- If your heart is just so broken that you can’t stand to see them, feel free to go no contact.
2
Allow yourself to mope around for a while. It’s okay to be sad, and letting yourself feel miserable for a bit can oddly make you feel a lot better. Give yourself a night to indulge in some ice cream and cry it out if you need to. After a day or two of mourning, try to get back out there.^{[12]
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- It’s totally normal to feel like this heartbreak is 100% real, even if you didn’t date. Don’t blame yourself for feeling this way.
3
Confide in a good friend or family member and talk it out. Reach out to someone you’re close with and tell them what you’re going through. Everyone develops crushes, and talking it out with someone can really take the weight off of your shoulders. On top of that, spending time with a good friend is a great way to distract yourself while you’re moving on.^{[13]
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4
Fill your time with your hobbies and passions. Pursuing things that feel rewarding and hold your interest will help you get over your unrequited crush. Pour your energy into things you enjoy doing, and incorporate other friends whenever possible. The more social and active you are, the faster the pain of this crush will go away.^{[14]
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- If you don’t feel like you have anything worth pursuing right now, it’s the perfect time to find a new hobby!
- You might hit the park to play some pickup games with your friends, or join a club at your school.
- You could learn how to draw, paint, knit, or play an instrument.
5
Remember that this is temporary. If you can just get through the next week or two, you’re probably going to feel a lot better. A crush that doesn’t work out can throw you into a whirlwind of emotions, but it won’t stay that way forever. Try to keep your chin up and remember that there is someone out there for you.^{[15]
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- If you’re really having a tough time getting over this one, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. There’s no shame in getting help. In fact, it takes courage.

Expert Q&A

Question

Should I distance myself from my crush?

Kristina Mirgorodskaya
Dating Expert
Kristina Mirgorodskaya is a Dating Coach and the Marketing Director of Amiccio, a New York City social app that helps singles make new connections. Amiccio connects singles by hosting parties, socials, beginners salsa, bachata, and tango classes, and speed dating events. With over four years of experience, Kristina specializes in leveraging people skills, cultivating welcoming environments, and intercultural communication. Her expertise allows her to easily bring people together. Kristina earned a degree in business from Baruch College.

Kristina Mirgorodskaya

Dating Expert

Expert Answer

That can be a good idea! If the other person is actually interested in you and doesn't hear from you for awhile, they might start to wonder where you are and reach out themselves.