How to See the Warning Signs of Child Molestation

Co-authored by Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS

Last Updated: February 17, 2023 References

Child sexual abuse often leaves victims with wounds that are more than skin deep and while physical abuse might be the most visible, other forms of abuse, such as emotional abuse, also leave deep scars that extend far beyond childhood. Child abuse is any intentional harm, neglect, mistreatment or maltreatment intended on causing harm to the life of a child. Not all forms of child abuse can be observed with the naked eye. By understanding the difference between normal sexual behavior and common signs of child sexual abuse, parents can actively take the first steps in drastically making a difference in their children's lives.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Recognize Age-Appropriate Sexual Behavior in Children

1
Understand age-appropriate sexual behavior. As children grow and pass through various stages of development, their knowledge and curiosity about sexuality changes during maturation. While each child is an individual who will develop at his or her own pace, there are generally accepted behaviors associated with a child's age and developmental stage. Note that because each child develops in his or her own way, not every child will display the behaviors shown below. Depending on the child's age, skip to the proper step for identifying the corresponding behaviors.^{[1]
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Research source}
2
Identify common sexual behavior in preschool children (2-5 years):^{[2]
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Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
- Using childish sexual language to describe body parts
- Asking where babies come from and how they are made
- Showing and looking at genitals
- Touching or rubbing their own private parts
- Rare sexual behavior:
  - Having sexual contact with other children
  - Using sexually explicit language or discussing sexual acts
  - Displaying adult-like knowledge or behavior
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3
Identify common sexual behavior in school-age children (6-12 years):^{[3]
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Trustworthy Source
American Academy of Family Physicians
Organization devoted to improving the health of patients, families, and communities
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- Inquiring about menstruation, pregnancy, and other sexual behavior
- Masturbating in private
- Experimenting with other children (i.e. kissing, touching, showing, role-playing)
- Rare sexual behavior:
  - Displaying adult-like sexual knowledge or behavior
  - Masturbating in public
4
Identify common sexual behavior in adolescents:^{[4]
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Research source}
- Experimenting sexually with other adolescents
- Using sexual language and talking among themselves about sexual acts
- Masturbating in private
- Asking about sexual behavior and relationships
- Rare sexual behavior:
  - Having sexual contact with adults or significantly younger children
  - Masturbating in public

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Understand the Types of Child Sexual Abuse

1
Learn the different forms of child sexual abuse. While legal definitions vary from state to state, child sexual abuse can be categorized into three types: inappropriate touching, non-touching activity and sexual exploitation. Read the following steps for determining each type.^{[5]
X
Trustworthy Source
PubMed Central
Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
Go to source}
2
Identify inappropriate touching:^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Rubbing against a child's body or clothing in an intimate manner
- Digitally penetrating or penetrating with an object
- Touching or fondling a child's private parts or making a child touch someone else's genitals
- Tongue-kissing or kissing in a sexual way
- Oral-genital or oral-breast contact
- Playing sexual games
- Intercourse (vaginal, oral, or anal)
3
Identify non-touching activity:^{[7]
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Research source}
- Forcing a child to masturbate
- Making sexual comments to a child
- Taking sexually explicit photos of a child
- Exposing genitals to a child
- Peeping or voyeurism
- Masturbating in front of a child
- Forcing a child to watch pornographic material
4
Identify sexual exploitation:^{[8]
X
Trustworthy Source
National Health Service (UK)
Public healthcare system of the UK
Go to source}
- Taking pornographic images or videos, or making a child model pornography
- Soliciting a child for prostitution

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Recognize the Warning Signs of Child Sexual Abuse

1
Understand what warning signs to look for when identifying sexual abuse, as children often show rather than tell when something is disturbing them. While there may be various reasons for fluctuations in a child's behavior, a combination of warning signals may indicate appropriate action be taken. Depending on the child's age, skip to the proper step for identifying the corresponding warning signs.^{[9]
X
Trustworthy Source
State of Michigan
Official website for the State of Michigan
Go to source}
2
Identify signs of molestation in children 0-3 years:^{[10]
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Research source}
- Feeding and bowel problems
- Sleeping issues
- Crying excessively or fear
- Failing to thrive
3
Identify signs of molestation in children 3-9 years:^{[11]
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Research source}
- Feeling shameful or guilty
- Victimizing others
- Fearing possibility of recurring attacks
- Masturbating excessively
- Wetting the bed, stranger anxiety, and other acts of behavior regression
- Eating troubles or changes in appetite
- Withdrawing from loved ones
- Sleeping issues or nightmares
- Fearing specific things like people, places, or activities
4
Identify signs of molestation in adolescents 9+ years:^{[12]
X
Research source}
- Abusing drugs and alcohol
- Displaying anger toward being forced into situations out of their control
- Engaging in promiscuous activity
- Showing signs of aggression
- Suffering from depression
- Sleeping issues or nightmares
- Performing poorly in school
- Eating troubles or changes in appetite
- Running away from home
- Having suicidal thoughts
- Displaying overly mature behavior
- Fearing possibility of recurring attacks
- Getting pregnant at an early age
5
Identify physical warning signs of child sexual abuse. Although physical signs of sexual abuse are rare, if you notice any of the signs below, take your child to a doctor for an examination to determine the cause and test for STDs. Physical warning signs of child sexual abuse include:^{[13]
X
Trustworthy Source
American Academy of Family Physicians
Organization devoted to improving the health of patients, families, and communities
Go to source}
- Showing difficulty with walking, sitting, and standing
- Contracting sexually transmitted diseases (STDs)
- Experiencing pain during urination and/or bowel movements
- Bleeding, discharges or pain in mouth, genitals or anus
- Displaying involuntary urination or defecation
- Suffering self-inflicted injuries (i.e. cutting, burning, suicide attempts)
- Having torn, bloody, and stained underwear
6
Identify other emotional, behavioral, psychological signs of child sexual abuse:^{[14]
X
Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source}
- Setting fires
- Having poor social skills
- Displaying aggressive sexual behavior
- Acting extremely clingy and dependent
- Isolating oneself from social activity or being withdrawn
- Showing cruelty toward animals
- Observable decline in hygiene and self-care

Warnings

If you believe a child is in immediate danger or has been a victim of sexual abuse, report the abuser to the police or your local child protective services agency. For additional information about reporting abuse, call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD.

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Please note that not all shifts in behavior, attitudes, or perceptions are indications that a child is being abused or experiencing abuse. It is important to remember that children are also affected by their environments.

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