This article was co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
This article has been viewed 179,007 times.
Saying no can be really tough, especially if you feel like you're a people pleaser. Maybe a friend is asking you for a favor, or a co-worker is asking you to cover their shift for the afternoon. How can you stand your ground politely without feeling guilty—or worse, feeling guilted into something? Don’t worry. We’ve put together plenty of tips and tricks to help you stand your ground in the future and say "no" in a nice way without being rude.
Steps
Expert Q&A
Did you know you can get premium answers for this article?
Unlock premium answers by supporting wikiHow
-
QuestionIs it rude to say no?Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPRebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
Communication Therapist -
QuestionWhat's the best way to say no if I'm not trying to be mean?Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPRebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
Communication Therapist -
QuestionWhy is it so hard for me to say no?Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFPRebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.
Communication Therapist
References
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/say-no
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/jonathan-alpert/7-ways-to-say-no-to-someone-and-not-feel-bad-about-it.html
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-we-work/201302/nine-practices-help-you-say-no
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-we-work/201302/nine-practices-help-you-say-no
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/learning-to-say-no#2
- ↑ https://www.apa.org/gradpsych/2013/11/say-no
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-we-work/201302/nine-practices-help-you-say-no
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/how-we-work/201302/nine-practices-help-you-say-no
- ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/learning-to-say-no#2
About This Article
If you have a hard time saying no to people, remember that saying no is okay and you have every right to set boundaries for yourself. If someone asks you to do something that makes you uncomfortable or that you don’t have time for, you don’t need to make up an excuse. Instead, clearly and plainly say “no,” followed by a brief, succinct reason. For example, if someone asks you on a date and you aren’t interested, simply say, “No; I’m sorry but I’m not interested in you in that way.” Even though you might not want to hurt the person’s feelings, remember that you are not obligated to them and they should respect that. If someone asks for a favor that you can't take on, try suggesting other ways you can help them. For example, if your friend asks you to help them move into a new apartment when you are busy, offer to help them later with other tasks, like breaking down boxes and organizing their kitchen. For more tips on saying no, like how to stand your ground when someone continues to pester you with a request, keep reading!