How to Restart a Conversation with a Girl

Co-authored by Lauren Sanders and Kira Jan

Last Updated: February 10, 2023 References

You’ve been texting back and forth with the girl you like when the conversation either dries up, or she just stops responding. If you’re not sure how to reach out again and re-energize the conversation, we’ve got a whole list of messages to send. No matter how long ago the texts fizzled out, relax and read on for foolproof ways to restart a conversation with the girl you like.

1

Acknowledge the lull in conversation.

Break the ice by mentioning that it’s been a while since you talked. It might seem counterintuitive, but when you acknowledge that you two haven’t talked, you take some of the pressure off. You’re essentially saying, “It’s cool that we haven’t texted lately, but I’m still interested in picking up where we left off.”^{[1]
X
Trustworthy Source
Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices
Go to source}
- “It’s been a minute. What have you been up to?”
- “Haven’t heard from you in a bit. What’s new with you?”
- “Hey, stranger! How’ve you been?”

2

Bring up a past conversation topic.

Use a follow-up question as a natural, easy way to start talking again. Think about the last time you two had a good back-and-forth going. What were you talking about? Try and jumpstart your text conversation by returning to that topic. Go one level deeper into the conversation by asking questions.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- “What was the name of the song you said you liked? Going to check it out rn.”
- “Tell me more about your coffee obsession. Where's the best cafe in town?"
- “I was just thinking about what you said last night… How’d you learn so much about that?”

3

Send a random question to start a new conversation.

Switch up the conversation topic to pique her interest. This approach is great for texting a girl who seems slow to respond in general, which can be a sign she’s not super into the conversation. No worries, you can just shake up your texting strategy to add a bit of energy. She might not be that interested in talking about how her day went, but she might want to answer a fun hypothetical or “would you rather” question.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- “Would you rather stay home in your PJs or dress up and go out on a Friday night?”
- “If you could get dinner with any 4 famous people, who would you pick?”
- “What’s your dream vacation destination?”

4

Bring up shared interests and experiences.

It's easy to restart a conversation when you two can find common ground. Start mentioning hobbies or topics you both find interesting. If you’re not sure what she’s interested in, you can just ask what she likes to do and start a fun conversation that way. Alternatively, do a little recon to figure out what she likes by checking out her social media page. When you find interests you share, you’re bound to have lots to talk about.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Try bringing up a common experience or quirk to see if she can relate. You can use a line like, “Please tell me I’m not the only one who listens to songs on repeat” to start a lively debate.
- Talk about a hobby you both enjoy in your free time. For example, “Have you checked out the kickboxing studio downtown yet?”
- If you know each other IRL, mention something you have in common like a shared class or favorite restaurant. For example, “How’re you feeling about the final coming up in Dr. Joan’s class?”

5

Ask for her opinion.

People like giving their input and feeling like their thoughts matter. Show her you care about what she thinks and get her to respond at the same time. Reference a popular show or movie and ask for her opinion on it. If you don’t know her super well, ask her for a recommendation of a great place to check out in town. Here are a few ways to play this text:^{[5]
X
Research source}
- See if she’ll help you pick a great place to eat with a text like, “Can you help me out? Pretend you’re a food blogger. Where should I go to get the best brunch around here?”
- Get her thoughts on pop culture with something like, “Just finished the season finale of that show you recommended. Can you believe they killed off Margo?”
- Send photos of 2 outfits and ask her to help you pick which one to wear with a playful text like, “It’s up to you. Which one should I wear to class tomorrow?”

6

Check in with her about an event or activity.

Ask how her latest project, party, or trip went to make her feel special. Message her about a popular current event, particularly if it's involving an interest you both share. She’ll appreciate that you remembered her talking about the big presentation at work or that you liked the cool concert pics she posted. This type of text is also convenient because it gives you a natural excuse to reach out.
- “Hi! How’d your big test go?”
- “Still at your aunt’s for the weekend? How’s it going so far?”
- “I want to hear about the wild surfing vacation you went on! See any sharks?”

7

Share a funny, wild story.

Get her interested by texting an exciting cliffhanger. Talk about something funny you saw while out and about, or bring up a past, mildly embarrassing story about yourself.^{[6]
X
Research source} Humor is the way to go here, since keeping things lighthearted will set up a positive vibe for your conversation.
- “You won’t believe who I just ran into…”
- “Just saw the weirdest thing outside!”
- “Guess what I just overheard 😂”
- “Have I told you about the time I...”

8

Tell a story through emojis.

Pique her interest with an emoji-coded message she’ll have to decipher. You can send a bunch of random emojis, but just be prepared that she might end up sending random emojis back. Instead, try and send a cryptic message through emojis and challenge her to figure it out.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Send emojis that summarize a fun first date with a text like, “Guess what I’m thinking about? Here’s a hint 🎥🍿😊✨”
- Get a little sassy with a message like, “👻👻👻👻👻 If I send you a bunch of ghosts, is that considered ghosting?”
- Ask her to guess how you spent your evening and give an emoji clue like, “💰🦹‍♂️💥👊🦸.”

9

Send a GIF, a meme, or a cute photo.

Bring in visuals for a great way to re-ignite your conversation. When texts get dry, adding a bit of media can give you two something else to talk about. Play it safe by sticking to popular memes and topics she’ll relate to.^{[8]
X
Research source} Or, if she has a specific sense of humor and you know her well, go for a weirder message.
- For a cute approach, pair a sweet GIF or photo with the message, “This reminded me of you.”
- For a funny approach, pair a GIF of a random animal with the message, “Scale of 1 to 10, how much do you think this looks like me?”
- When in doubt, send a funny meme and just ask, “Have you seen this one? 🤣”

10

Share a song or video she might like.

Send a link to catch her attention and bring in a new conversation topic. Ask for her opinions on whatever you’ve sent, and she’ll feel like you really value her input. If she likes what you’ve sent, she’ll feel like you get her and care about her. If she doesn’t like whatever you’ve sent, you can start a playful debate.
- “Did you check out the new album yet?!”
- “Saw this vid and thought of you.”
- “Just checking to see if you have good taste. Let me know what you think about this song. No pressure 😉”

11

Give her a flirty compliment.

Flattery is a kind, easy way to get the conversation going.^{[9]
X
Research source} Not to mention, a flirty compliment is a great way to test the waters. If you’re able to restart your conversation with a cute compliment, she’s probably into you. In fact, it’s a great sign if she responds right away or faster than usual. However, if she doesn’t respond, it might be time to move on, and it’s her loss.
- Send a blank-looking message like “...” Then send, “You’re so beautiful, I forgot what I was going to text.”
- “I’m sure you get this all the time, but you have gorgeous eyes.”
- “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’”^{[10]
  X
  Research source}

12

Tell her you miss talking to her.

Go for the “I miss you” approach if you used to talk regularly. When you bring up how talking to her (and not talking to her) makes you feel, she might feel more invested in responding. Telling her you miss her also can make her feel important, so it’s a solid flirty approach. Just saying “I miss you,” might feel a little intense, but you can dial up or down the emotional level like this:^{[11]
X
Research source}
- For a less intense approach, try something like, “My dog misses you” or “I miss our post-game recaps. Did you see the game tonight?”
- For a more intense approach, try a line like, “Missing you a little more than usual today.”
- For a super flirty, confident approach, try “Miss me yet?”^{[12]
  X
  Research source}

13

Try a little sarcasm or a dramatic text.

Gently tease her for ghosting you to encourage her to respond. Mix in some funny emojis with your message so she doesn’t feel too called out, and send a text that asks “Are you alive?”^{[13]
X
Research source} Be careful with sarcasm that’s a little too harsh. Since it’s hard to interpret tone over text, lean towards the humorous, playful side. That way, she won’t think you’re being rude.
- “You are the world’s fastest texter 🐌😂.”
- “This is me waiting for your next message 👀.” You can soften this comment by sending another message like “It’s worth it, though!”
- To get really meta, send the song “Don’t You (Forget About Me).”

14

Ask her to hang out IRL.

Move the conversation away from texting and into real life by asking her out. If you really like her, it’s okay to be direct—and it’s even a bold move that shows confidence. Since texting doesn’t seem to be her thing, she might even appreciate that you’re taking your conversation offline.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- “Do you want to hang out sometime? I’m free Saturday afternoon!”
- “You + me + ice cream tomorrow night?”
- “Hey! Want to grab drinks with me on Friday?”

15

Move on if she doesn’t text back.

Wait 2-4 days to give her time to respond. It’s possible she’s not texting you back because she’s busy or out of town. Still, there’s a difference between being busy and being inconsiderate. If she ghosts you for more than 4 days, she might not be interested, and that’s a sign it’s time to move on.^{[15]
X
Research source} The good news is, you’ll eventually find someone else who’ll be thrilled to get a text from you!

Example Questions to Restart a Conversation

Questions to Restart a Conversation

Community Q&A

Question

How am I supposed to even get a girl's phone number?

Donagan

Top Answerer

Pick one girl in particular. Treat her well. Make her smile. If you do that long enough, she will probably volunteer that information.