How to Raise Smart Children

Co-authored by Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.

Last Updated: June 27, 2022 References Approved

You’re doing your best to raise your child and of course you want them to be intelligent. You’re not alone! Everyone would like to give a child advantages, and helping them become successful seems huge. In reality, the best things you can do to encourage a child’s mental development are simple, everyday activities and habits. Do things like talk to your child about everything that is going on in your life, encourage them to read, and let them explore art, games, and other hands-on activities. These little things make a big difference, as does a loving, nurturing home!

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Encouraging Communication

1
Encourage reading. There are huge benefits to reading to your child every day. It helps develop their vocabulary and intelligence, as well as emotional bonds. When your child is old enough, let them pick out things to read for themselves. They'll love taking charge of what to read!^{[1]
X
Research source}
2
Talk about books. With very young children, you can ask them about what they see in a book. Older children can talk about what they think of a book, or how they are reacting to it. If you can make reading a starting point to explore ideas, you'll be turbo-charging your child's mental growth.
- For instance, when looking at a book with a small child, you can ask questions like “What’s that animal called? What do you think it eats? Where do you think it lives?”
- You can show interest in an older child’s reading by asking things like “So what’s that book you’re reading about?” or “What did you like best about that story?”
- Ask them questions about books that you just read. For example, you might ask, "What did you learn from this book?" or "Would you make the same choices as the character in the story?"
Advertisement
3
Talk about things in everyday life. Talking about mundane, everyday things might seem basic to adults. But remember that a child is learning about how the world works, and so everything to them seems new and exciting! Do things like tell stories about your day and talk about what you’re doing when shopping, and your kid will be learning without even realizing it.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- Ask your child open-ended questions about their feelings, thoughts, opinions, and ideas. Follow up by asking them why they think that way. For example, you can ask them what their favorite activity is. Then ask, "Why is soccer your favorite thing to do?"
- Feel free to ask your child some non-judgmental questions about the decisions that they make. In fact, simply asking curious questions can help your child think through various options and decisions.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
  Parent Educator & Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.}
4
Limit screen time. There doesn’t seem to be any harm in letting older kids spend a moderate amount of time watching TV, playing video games, using entertainment apps, etc. There are also many beneficial learning opportunities available online and via various devices. However, think twice about letting your child have free reign with their devices, even if the content seems educational.^{[4]
X
Trustworthy Source
MedlinePlus
Collection of medical information sourced from the US National Library of Medicine
Go to source}
- Experts recommend zero screen time for children under 2, and limiting time to 1 or 2 hours a day for children above age 2.
- Using electronic devices for school work is understandable. However, be wary of internet surfing, too much time on social media, gaming, etc.
- For their own safety, don't let your child create a social media account unless they're at least 13 years old.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
  Parent Educator & Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.}
- Time that could go to using devices could be better spent in more active ways, like exercising, talking with your child, and building creativity. These activities may have more long-term benefits for your child’s intellectual development and health.
- Have a serious talk with your child about how to be safe on the internet. Show them what to look out for and encourage them to talk to you when they notice something wrong.
- If your child asks a question about the world, say, "Let's look that up." Together, search for the answer on the internet. This will teach them how to use the internet to learn.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Fostering Creativity

1
Encourage your little artist. All of your child’s doodles and crafts are more than masterpieces to hang on the fridge! Doing art encourages expression, color and spatial awareness, creativity, confidence, and many other beneficial skills and qualities.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Keep plenty of crayons, markers, colored paper, and other craft supplies around at home.
- Just remember not to judge your child’s work. The point isn’t to turn them into Picasso, just to let them explore their creativity in a fun way.
- Ideally, give your kids this creative downtime without any digital devices nearby. Creativity needs plenty of space to grow.^{[7]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
  Parent Educator & Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.}
2
Develop your child’s spatial reasoning skills. Spatial reasoning refers to the ability to visualize things, to understand how things move around and fit together, etc. This kind of reasoning is important for developing both creativity and STEM (science, technology, engineering and math) skills. There are lots of ways to encourage spatial reasoning:^{[8]
X
Trustworthy Source
Nature
Respected Multidisciplinary Scientific Journal
Go to source}
- Let your child play with blocks, puzzles, and other toys that require movement.
- Play sports and games outside.
- Take walks with your child. ^{[9]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
  Parent Educator & Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.}
- Let your child explore things like arts and crafts and model building.
3
Build a musical home. Playing music, like doing art, can also encourage your child’s sense of expression and creativity. However, there’s also research that suggests simply listening to music encourages brain development and intelligence, so turn it up!^{[10]
X
Research source}
- If you sing or play an instrument, involve your child in the music making. Your child can also take lessons if they’re interested.
- Whether or not you are musical, try playing music for your child in your home, in the car, etc. Sing along with them!
- Sing nursery rhymes, silly songs, holiday songs, and other tunes, especially with young children.
- For extra fun, try dancing with your child!
4
Give your child plenty of unstructured play time. Children need at least an hour a day to play on their own, but ideally, they will have more. Unstructured play time allows the child to engage in their own imagination. Avoid overloading your child with activities, and let them have some to just play.^{[11]
X
Research source}
- Blocks, legos, and other building toys are a great way for your child to create something.
- Encourage your children to dress up and play pretend.
- Don't be afraid to play with your children. Let them create the scenario, and act along with it.

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Teaching Your Child about the World

1
Take your child outside. Spending plenty of time outside is good for a child’s intelligence as well as their health. Seeing the world outdoors encourages your child to learn about their natural world, increases their curiosity, and can make basic scientific concepts more clear. Try things like:
- Taking a walk and talking about plants and animals that you see.
- Going on a hike or stopping by your local park.^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kathy Slattengren, M.Ed.
  Parent Educator & Coach
  Expert Interview. 27 July 2021.}
- Letting your child build a treehouse or other project outside.
- Pointing out unusual or interesting sights when you are outside.
- Creating a garden with your child.
2
Globalize your child's perspective. Helping your child learn about the world around them is very important. Learning about other cultures and sites around the world will heighten their sense of diversity. This not only increases their knowledge, but also deepens their understanding of other people. If you can travel with your child, this can be a great way for them to learn. Even if you can’t travel, you can:^{[13]
X
Research source}
- Give your child maps, and talk about different regions of the world.
- Talk about world news and events.
- Encourage your child to read about different cultures, and tell them about ones that interest you.
- Take your child to any multicultural events or institutions in your area.
- Visit a museum to inspire your child's interest in different cultures.
3
Learn a foreign language. Speaking a second (or third, or fourth) language has many benefits, like increasing your child’s verbal abilities and adaptability. If you only speak one language at home, that’s ok. Your child could take a class, learn from apps and other materials, or spend time around people who speak another language.^{[14]
X
Research source}
- Don’t make learning a language a chore, however. Only try it if your child seems to enjoy it.
- Learning together with your child can make things even more fun!
- Your child doesn’t even have to become fluent to gain benefits.

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Creating a Nurturing Environment

1
Don’t constantly tell your child that they’re smart. Of course you want to tell your child how proud they make you, but telling your child too much that they’re smart can actually discourage them. If they constantly hear that they’re intelligent or gifted, they may begin to think that intelligence is completely innate, and that they don’t need to try. When things do get difficult, they may then get discouraged and fall behind.^{[15]
X
Research source}
2
Encourage a growth mindset instead of praising intelligence. Believing that abilities can be gained through effort is called a growth mindset. Fostering this in your child can encourage them to be more well-rounded and intelligent overall.^{[16]
X
Trustworthy Source
Nature
Respected Multidisciplinary Scientific Journal
Go to source}
- Praise your child for their hard work rather than their intelligence, with statements like “Your effort really paid off on that math test,” instead of “You aced that test! What a genius!”
- Tell your child stories about when you worked hard for something, especially when you had to struggle to succeed.
- These techniques will teach your child to persevere and to react well to setbacks. That way, they can maximize the full potential of their intelligence.
- When your child is struggling or has failed at something, talk to them about it. Ask them what they would do differently, and encourage them to keep trying.
- If your child is struggling with a subject at school, help them learn it in a different way. For example, if your child isn't good with math, ask them to help you measure food when you cook or to add up items around the house.
3
Feed their stomachs to help grow their minds. The old saying is that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, and there is some truth to that. If your child is hungry in the morning, they’ll have trouble concentrating later in the day, and can become tired or irritable. Feed them well in the morning, and they’ll be set up for a day of success.^{[17]
X
Research source}
- Try to give your child a nutritious breakfast with things like protein and whole grains, instead of sugary cereals and snacks.
- A nutritious breakfast could include things like oatmeal and fruit, whole-grain toast with peanut butter, yogurt and granola, or an omelette with fillings like spinach and cheese.
4
Respect different learning styles. Experts now recognize that there are numerous types of intelligence, and different styles that are associated with them. For instance, your child might be a spatial learner, someone who does best when they can try things “hands on.” Or, your child might be a verbal learner, someone who does best when they can talk about what to do.^{[18]
X
Research source}
- Be open to your child’s learning styles, which may be different than your own.
- Help them find activities and learning strategies that they enjoy and that help them reach their potential.
5
Love your child. The loving connection formed between you and your child and your one-on-one interaction with him provide the foundation for their higher thinking skills. Remember that it’s not all about the brain! A loving, nurturing, safe, and happy home is one of the greatest gifts you can give a child.
- Hug, talk to, and play with your child! Positive interaction is key.
- Don't assume that your child has failed just because they're not conventionally intelligent. Give them help when they're struggling, and encourage them to pursue their dreams.

Expert Q&A

Question

What can I do to make my 3 year old smart?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

At 3 years old, a child needs plenty of exploration time. See the above suggestions for sharing experiences with your child that foster curiosity.
Question

How do I help my 9 year old son improve the speed at which he writes?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Boys develop fine motor skills and language skills later than girls. At 9 years old, he may be a bit young to write fast. Give him some time and keep working on it. If it is handwriting he needs to get faster at, give him a white board to practice on and encourage journal writing for fun ways of practicing. If it is language skills he needs to work on, help him talk in stories and formulate ideas verbally and show him how that translates to writing.