How to Propose to Your Girlfriend: What to Say and Do for the Perfect Marriage Proposal

An in-depth guide to the best ways to propose

Co-authored by Patti Novak Williams and Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA

Last Updated: January 11, 2023 References Approved

So you've found the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. How do you ask her to be yours forever? You don't have to do anything over-the-top or crazy to propose—unless you think that's what she wants. The most important thing is that you speak from the heart and that you find the perfect way to let her know how much she means to you. We’re here to help you plan the perfect proposal so she says “yes!”

Things You Should Know

Talk to her about what she wants in the future so you can be sure she wants to get married.
Pick out the perfect ring, location, and date for your big proposal.
Speak from the heart and practice what you want to say in advance.
Ask her to marry you, and be ready for any reaction. If she says yes, slide the ring on her finger and give her a big hug.

1

Make sure your girlfriend wants to get married.

Verify that marriage is the next step for both of you. Reflect back on what she’s said about marriage in the past to make sure it’s something she wants. You can also gauge her feelings by bringing up your plans for the future.^{[1]
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Research source} If she’s planning a future with you, she’s probably going to say “yes” when you pop the question.
- Chatting with her friends and family can also help. They know her really well, so they can reassure you that it’s time to propose.
- Your girlfriend might express doubts about getting married or could even say marriage isn’t something she wants. If that happens, hold off on proposing and instead talk about both of your expectations for your relationship.
- If you’ve only been together a few months, you might wait a little longer to make sure you’re both wanting a long-term relationship.

2

Talk to her parents if you know she’d like that.

Tell her parents you plan to propose before you pop the question. These days, you don’t have to ask for permission to marry her—unless that’s what she wants. At the same time, her parents will really appreciate it if you let them know that you love their daughter and plan to propose. Plus, they might be able to give you some insights into what their daughter will like best.^{[2]
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- “I just wanted to let you know that I love your daughter with all my heart, and I’m planning to ask her to be my wife.”
- “Your daughter means the world to me, and I can’t imagine life without her. I wanted to tell you that I’m planning to propose.”
- Some people find this old-fashioned, so don’t worry about talking to your girlfriend’s parents if it’s not important to her or if she doesn’t have a great relationship with them.

3

Buy the ring in advance.

Pick an engagement ring that fits her style and personality. After all, she is going to be wearing it every day from now on. Get ideas for what she likes by checking out her current jewelry, or ask one of her besties to come along. To get her size, take a ring that she typically wears on her ring finger when you go to pick out her engagement ring.^{[3]
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- If you’ve been talking about marriage, ask her to show you rings that she likes. You might even visit a few jewelry stores so she can point out the rings she likes best. Additionally, ask her what size you should get.
- Be sure to hide the ring somewhere she won’t find it. You don’t want to ruin the surprise!

4

Pick a date.

Propose on a day that you can make truly special for her. You’ll look back on this day throughout your marriage, and you might even celebrate it as an anniversary. You might pick a date that’s already special to you, like when you had your first date. Alternatively, you could just go with a date that’s convenient. Just pick a day when all the attention can be focused on her and your relationship.^{[4]
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Research source} Here are some ideas:
- Your anniversary
- A date that has a special significance to her
- Your date night
- A day you’ll be on vacation with her

5

Personalize your engagement.

Make your engagement all about the two of you. The most romantic proposals come from the heart, so focus on the little details. Think about what she likes and what you love to do together. Draw your inspiration from what makes you two unique as a couple.^{[5]
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- Recreate a favorite memory.
- Incorporate your fandoms.
- Hike somewhere with a scenic view.
- Incorporate your hobbies.
- Involve your pets.^{[6]
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- Play your song.

6

Pick the location.

Opt for a place that feels meaningful to you both. It’s also a good idea to make sure you feel totally comfortable popping the question in the location you choose. You might feel more comfortable on a secluded beach than at a crowded restaurant, and that’s totally okay. You can propose practically anywhere, so go with a spot that feels special to you.^{[7]
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Research source} Here are some ideas:
- The beach at sunset.
- At her favorite restaurant.
- On a scenic hike.
- On a fancy vacation.
- Where you had your first date.
- At home in a candlelight dinner.
- On a bridge under the stars.
- At the top of a landmark.
- On a romantic picnic.
- In a hot air balloon.
- On a camping trip.
- At a sporting event.
- In a botanical garden.
- At the aquarium.
- In a museum.
- In a library.
- On a blanket under the stars.

7

Practice what you want to say.

Tell her how she makes you feel and how you feel about her. Think back to your first date and how the sparks flew. Start your proposal there, then explain how she makes your life better and you can’t imagine life without her. Finish by telling her you want to spend your life making her happy, then ask her to marry you.^{[8]
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- “From the moment I saw you walk into that cafe, I knew you were something special. Every day with you is a new adventure, and I can’t wait to see what tomorrow unfolds. You bring out the best in me: you challenge me, you see my talents, you encourage me. I hope that I can be as great a partner to you as you are to me. I want to spend all my days with you, making you the happiest woman on earth. I love you so much, and I just have one question. Will you marry me?”

8

Ask someone to take pictures.

Hire a photographer or ask a friend to do it. You’ll both want to remember this magical moment, so capture it with a camera. Tell your photographer how you plan to propose and their cue to start taking photos. As another option, you could re-enact the proposal after she says, “Yes!” so that you can be fully in the moment while you’re professing your love to her.^{[9]
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- Some people choose to skip the photographer, and that’s okay! You and your future fiance might prefer to keep the moment private.
- If you hire a professional, you might go ahead and take some engagement photos for when you announce your nuptials.

9

Plan a celebration for when she says “yes.”

Decide how you want to spend the moments after your proposal. You’re both going to be giddy with excitement because you’re getting married! It’s a big moment, so do something special. You might choose to spend the moments privately, or you could plan a big party. Opt for a celebration that feels perfect for you and your love.^{[10]
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- Do a champagne toast.
- Share a romantic dinner.
- Plan a party with your friends and family.
- Whisk her off on an overnight getaway.
- Walk along the beach.
- Dance to a playlist of love songs.
- Cuddle by a fire.

10

Tell her a cover story.

Invite her out to a fancy event so she gets dressed up. In most cases, you can just tell her you’re going to a nice dinner. Give her a reason to look her best so she feels fabulous when you pop the question. You might even get your friends to help sell her on the lie—just don’t tell more than 2 or 3 people. You don’t want to ruin the surprise!^{[11]
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- “Hey, babe. I got us reservations at that new Italian place this Friday. Let’s get dressed up and have a date night.”
- “I just found out about a big work event this Saturday. It’s at this upscale hotel downtown, so I think we should dress up.”
- “Jake called me today about a surprise party for Cleo this Friday. We’re supposed to dress up.”

11

Dress up for the big day.

Dazzle her with your good looks on your proposal day. Wear an outfit that she’s complimented before so you know she’ll think you look hot. Alternatively, buy something new so the moment is extra special.^{[12]
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- Wear something formal, like a suit and tie or a little black dress.
- Go with a classic date night outfit, like a button down and slacks or a cute dress.
- Stay true to yourself. If you normally wear flannel and jeans everywhere, don your nicest duds and propose with confidence.

12

Start your proposal.

Tell her how you feel before you get down on one knee. Take her hand and stare deeply into her eyes so she knows you’re sincere. Then, speak from your heart and profess your love. Do your best to remember all the things you wanted to say, even if it doesn’t come out perfect. It’ll still sound perfect to her.
- “Lately, I’ve been thinking about how much better my life is since we first met. I still remember the first time I saw you. You had foam on your nose from your latte, and it was so cute. I’m so grateful for the joy you bring to my life and for all the ways you’ve helped me become my best self. I’m so lucky, and I want to spend my life making you feel just as loved as you make me feel.”

13

Get down on one knee (or don’t).

Kneel right before you ask her to marry you. You don’t have to get down on one knee if that doesn’t feel right to you. If you do decide to kneel, wait until you’re ready to say, “Will you marry me.” She’ll be more surprised if you say the first part while you’re sitting or standing.^{[13]
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- You’ll want to hold the ring in your dominant hand, so kneel down on your non-dominant knee.

14

Ask her to marry you.

Stare into her eyes and ask her to be your wife. As you do this, open the ring box and offer her the engagement ring you picked out. Give her a few moments to react before she answers. She’s probably going to be overcome with emotions, even if she suspected the proposal was coming. Be prepared for smiles and tears!^{[14]
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- If she says “yes,” put the ring on her finger.
- There’s a small chance she’ll say “no.” If that happens, accept her response and take some time to work through your feelings. If you want to stay together, talk to her about why she turned down your proposal and talk about what you both want from your relationship.

15

Put the ring on her left hand.

Slip the engagement ring onto her left ring finger. Then, celebrate with hugs and kisses. Congrats on your engagement and this wonderful new chapter of your lives. We wish you all the love and happiness in the world.
- Pose for a few pictures after she says “yes” so you can capture the moment.
- It’s time to celebrate! Toast to your relationship, or get a little romantic.

Help Crafting Your Proposal

Things to Say when Proposing to a Woman

Things to Avoid Saying when Proposing to a Woman

Annotated Proposal to a Woman

Community Q&A

Question

Is it very terrible to propose by text?

Community Answer

Proposing by text is not a good way to show someone you love them. You should do it in person where you can be intimate and romantic.
Question

Should I marry a woman that's older than me?

Community Answer

If the two of you have a strong, healthy, dedicated relationship, then there's absolutely nothing wrong with marrying a woman (or man!) who's older than you.
Question

I am too young to get married. Is it okay to propose now and then get married when we are old enough?

Community Answer

Yes, many people get engaged and wait to get married until they feel absolutely ready.

Warnings

Don’t try to misdirect her by telling her a painful lie, like that you’re not the marrying type. She’ll be heartbroken, and it’ll take some of the excitement out of the moment.

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