How to Plan the Perfect Valentine's Day for Your Husband

Co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC and Amy Bobinger

Last Updated: August 25, 2021 References

Celebrate the love you feel for your husband this Valentine's Day by going out of your way to make it just perfect. It doesn't have to be expensive or complicated; rather, a successful Valentine's Day results from thoughtful planning and paying attention to the small details that you know matter to him.

1

Start the day out with breakfast in bed.

Let your hubby sleep in while you cook. Try whipping up a batch of red velvet pancakes for a sweet Valentine's-themed breakfast, or make a yummy indulgence that you know he loves, like a giant pile of crispy bacon and scrambled eggs. It can even be as simple as sharing big bowls of your favorite cereal with some sliced strawberres—the whole point is just to set a cozy, romantic from the beginning of the day.^{[1]
X
Research source}
- If you want to sleep in too, order breakfast from a local restaurant delivery service—try donuts and coffee for the perfect sweet treat to start your Valentine's celebration! Many services will even allow you to schedule an order ahead of time, so you can just set it up before you go to bed.

2

Make some time for just the two of you.

Plan at least a couple of hours of romantic quiet time. If you and your husband have children, get a babysitter to watch the kids in the evening so you can have a romantic dinner. Or, if it's easier, drop the kids off for a couple of hours during the day so you can go out early, then enjoy dinner and a movie together as family. If it's a weekday, take off work so you can go out while the kids are at school. Try to get the kids to sleep early, though, so you can still enjoy a little time together after they go to bed.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- If you live with housemates or other family members, set up your date in your room instead of the common areas.

3

Give your husband a gift he'll find meaningful.

Think about his hobbies and what he finds sentimental. Is there anything he could really use that he wouldn't normally buy for himself? Or maybe there's this one watch he's been eyeing when he thinks you're not looking. Whatever it is, let him know you're paying attention by surprising him with it on Valentine's Day.^{[3]
X
Research source}
- If you can't think of anything, you can never go wrong with the Valentine's Day standbys, like chocolate, flowers, or red wine. Or, maybe he's more the craft beer type! You know your husband best, so trust your instincts.

4

Get dressed up in date clothes.

Make the day special, even if you're staying in. Try wearing something new or something he especially loves. If you wear dresses, try a slinky dress, or a curve-hugging skirt. If you wear suits, wear a well-tailored suit and an open-collared shirt. Opt for fabric that feels good to the touch, like silk or velvet. And of course, red is always perfect on Valentine's—it's the color of passion, after all.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Wearing something silky or sheer under your clothes will help keep you in the mood for romance all day!

5

Use food-based scents to get him in the mood.

Wear the scents, diffuse them in the air, or actually cook. Certain odors seem to increase male sexual arousal. Strangely, most of them can be found in food. The smell of pumpkin pie and lavender together is hugely effective, followed by a doughnut/black licorice combination. The scent of oranges, lavender, cola, lily of the valley, buttered popcorn, vanilla, and musk are all potent stimulants as well.^{[5]
X
Research source} There are plenty of different ways to introduce these scents into your V-Day:
- Wear perfume with notes of lavender, orange, musk, or lily of the valley.
- Bake a pumpkin pie or tart with a lavender-herbed butter crust. Take it out of the oven right before dinner so the house is full of the smell.
- Make rum-and-coke cocktails and drink them with a black licorice straw.

6

Set aside the business talk.

Postpone conversations about the kids, bills, jobs, and chores. Running a household is like running a business—there's a lot of strategy and business involved. But while it might be necessary, it isn't especially romantic. Agree ahead of time that certain subjects—anything from cleaning up after the dog to the new word your toddler learned—will be off-limits during your Valentine's celebration.^{[6]
X
Research source}
- Instead, focus on the kinds of things you talked about when you were dating—talk about new goals you want to set for yourself, places you want to travel to, or new things you want to try.
- You could also reminisce about some of your favorite dates the two of you have been on.

7

Play upbeat music throughout the day.

Set the mood, but keep it light. Don't feel like you have to put on crooning love songs all day—something fun and upbeat might actually be better for creating a romantic mood. In fact, studies show that upbeat music has a positive effect on men's arousal, while music that invokes a negative mood has a dampening effect.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Try playing pop, positive hip hop, jazz, or light classical during your Valentine's date. Just keep the volume low so you can talk.
- Karaoke is a fun way to bring music into your Valentine's celebration!^{[8]
  X
  Research source}
- You could also team up and both make playlists of songs that make you think about each other!^{[9]
  X
  Research source}

8

Do an outdoor activity together.

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be all dinner and swooning. If you and your husband are outdoorsy, consider taking a hike, hitting a rock-climbing gym, or taking an excursion on a boat. If you enjoy dancing together, take a salsa class—anything that gets your bodies moving will have you both feeling good for the rest of the day.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- Treat him to something he's been really wanting to try, like skydiving, a helicopter ride, or a visit to the shooting range! If you show him you've been listening, you'll be sure to create a Valentine's Day he'll never forget.
- Even something like a game of bowling or mini golf can be a really fun date!^{[11]
  X
  Research source}

9

Be a tourist in your town.

Check out things you don't normally get to do. Go to that new museum that just opened, take a long walk in a picturesque spot, and eat lunch at a place you've been wanting to try. If you can, you might even book the night at a nice hotel to really make the day feel out of the ordinary.^{[12]
X
Research source}
- If you've already seen what your town has to offer, drive to a nearby town and explore there, instead!
- You don't even necessarily have to have a destination in mind—just hop in the car and go for a drive down a scenic highway outside of town.

10

Book a couple's massage.

Get nice and relaxed for a perfect Valentine's Day. Massages are indulgent and relaxing, but some guys would never think to book one for themselves. If you surprise your guy with a massage, though, he might just be surprised at how much he enjoys it—and if you're in the room with him, it can create a calming, sensual mood that you can carry throughout the day.^{[13]
X
Research source}
- If you're not sure that your husband would be comfortable being massaged by a stranger, take turns massaging each other, instead. You can even recreate the spa atmosphere with scented massage oil, candles, face masks, heated towels, and more!^{[14]
  X
  Research source}

11

Binge-watch his favorite movies.

Get cozy on the couch and have your own movie marathon. If your husband isn't the rom-com type, make him feel really special this Valentine's Day by letting him pick what you watch. Whether he's into scary movies, vintage detective flicks, space fantasy, or explosion-packed action movies, ask him to pick 2 or 3 movies he's always wanted to show you. Even if it's not normally your thing, give them a chance—at the very least, you'll get to see him light up during his favorite scenes!^{[15]
X
Research source}
- Don't forget the snacks—you could go old-school with popcorn, of course, or you could get fancy by setting up a candy bar or charcuterie platter.
- Remember to pile plenty of blankets on the couch so you can cuddle together!

12

Play board games if your husband is a kid at heart.

Break out the classics or try a new game together. Go with your favorites, like Twister, Candy Land, Chutes and Ladders, Uno, or anything light-hearted. To keep things friendly, it might be better to avoid really competitive, strategic games like Monopoly, Risk, or chess—you still want to like each other at the end of the game!^{[16]
X
Research source}
- Amp up the romance by adding stakes to the game—like if you lose, you have to dance for the other one, or if you win, you get to pick what the other person wears to bed.
- If you have kids, this might be something fun to do before they go to bed or leave for grandma's house.

13

Make reservations in advance if you want to dine out.

Dinner out at a restaurant is a classic Valentine's tradition. However, you may find that it's hard to get a table for that very reason. If you want to take your husband out to eat, make reservations as far in advance as you can.^{[17]
X
Research source}
- If you live in the same place you did when you were dating, consider going out to eat at the place you went for your first date!
- If one of you works on Valentine's day, consider meeting up for a brief lunch. It might not be exactly the same as a leisurely dinner, but it's a sweet gesture—and you're likely to dodge some of the crowds.

14

Cook a meal together if you want to dine at home.

Collaborate on a delicious dinner for two. Splurge on a couple of steaks, make your favorite pasta dish, or toss up a giant salad—just pick something the two of you will both enjoy cooking and eating together. Put on some great music while you're in the kitchen, divide up the duties, and most of all, make it fun!^{[18]
X
Research source}
- It's okay if neither of you are really great cooks! Just try to pick a recipe that's not super intimidating, like spaghetti with meat sauce, homemade pizza, or roast chicken and veggies.^{[19]
  X
  Research source}
- Don't stress—if something goes wrong, just order takeout and laugh about it. You'll still be creating a fun memory.
- If you'd rather stick to a light meal, plan an indoor picnic! Spread out a blanket on the floor and snack on your favorite finger foods while you talk about your plans for the rest of the night.^{[20]
  X
  Research source}

15

Splurge on something nice to drink.

Enjoy a fancy wine, cocktail, or beer. If you and your partner drink alcohol, drink something nicer than usual on this occasion. Get a bottle of nice wine, or buy a growler from a local beer distributor. You could also buy ingredients to replicate a kind of cocktail you both enjoy, and mix it up as a surprise.^{[21]
X
Research source} If you want to get out, see if any wineries or breweries are hosting Valentine's Day tastings in your area!^{[22]
X
Research source}
- Beer doesn't have to feel casual or inelegant. Opt for a locally brewed beer with a high alcohol content, and serve it in champagne flutes or wine glasses.^{[23]
  X
  Research source}
- Red wine is a classic romantic drink for a reason. All alcohol could be considered an aphrodisiac, but red wine is even more so.^{[24]
  X
  Trustworthy Source
  PubMed Central
  Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health
  Go to source}
- If you don't drink alcohol, mix up some yummy mocktails, like raspberry limeade coolers or Shirley Temples!^{[25]
  X
  Research source}

16

Indulge in a delicious dessert.

Don't forget to wrap things up with a sweet treat. Valentine's is the perfect excuse to indulge your sweet tooth! There's no shortage of options—share a heart-shaped box full of chocolates, snack on some chocolate-covered strawberries, or split some yummy red velvet cookies. You could even bake up something yummy together, like chocolate lava cakes or a luscious raspberry tart. Even big bowls of ice cream topped with hot fudge will do the trick!^{[26]
X
Research source}
- You could even light a bonfire and roast your own s'mores!^{[27]
  X
  Research source}

17

Cozy up in the bedroom.

Don't forget to leave time for romance. Some surveys suggest that as many as 1 in 5 men really just want sex for Valentine's Day, so if you really want his day to be perfect, make sure you let him know you're open to spending some time together in the bedroom. Maybe surprise him just before bed by slipping into something cute—like lingerie or a silky pair of pjs or boxers. You could even have something new waiting for him, like a pair of boxers with hearts on them!^{[28]
X
Research source}
- After a long day out together, you might want to kick-start the romance by relaxing in a warm bath together!^{[29]
  X
  Research source}

Expert Q&A
Did you know you can get expert answers for this article? Unlock expert answers by supporting wikiHow

Question

What should I do for my husband for Valentine's Day?

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC
Marriage & Family Therapist
Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).

Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC

Marriage & Family Therapist

Expert Answer

Support wikiHow by unlocking this expert answer.

Here are some ideas: Break your routine and add some excitement. Do new, exciting things that you normally don't do. The novelty activates our brain's good chemicals: dopamine and norepinephrine. For example, surprise your spouse with a sexy or steamy photo. Try couples steamy yoga. Get in the mood by becoming closer through steamy yoga, healthy exercise, some great laughs, and revitalization. Party with friends. Surround yourself with other happy couples. Laughing and hanging with other like-minded couples is a great Valentine's Day activity. Swap couples massages. Give a massage to each other or enjoy hiring a professional massage therapist to provide a couples massage. Take a tantra class. Take a tantric (the sensual art of love) sex workshop to learn better lovemaking. While tantra may include sex, it is more about connection and intimacy.