11 Ways to Make a Woman Feel Loved and Secure

Making the woman in your life feel loved, secure, and respected is a great foundation for a healthy relationship. Fortunately, this is actually pretty easy, and you might already be doing some of these things every day. In this article, we’ll tell you exactly how to treat your partner for a loving, strong relationship that has the potential to last a lifetime.

1

Spend time with her one-on-one.

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    Make time for her so she knows she’s important. It can be easy to get swept up in your work, your kids, and your extra responsibilities. Be sure to schedule in time throughout the week to spend with your partner one-on-one. That way, she knows just how important she is to you, and she’ll never have to guess about whether or not she fits into your life.[1]
    • An easy way to do this is to have a designated date night. Try picking one night of the week when you two can spend quality time together, just the two of you.
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2

Listen intently when she talks.

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    Active listening shows your partner you care about what she says. When you and your partner are having a conversation (even a mundane one), get rid of distractions like your phone or the TV and make eye contact with her. Nod along to show that you understand, and ask follow-up questions if you don’t get something.[2]
    • Ask questions like, “Can you tell me more?” or, “Interesting. Could you explain that?”
    • You can also rephrase what she says to show that you understand, like, “So what you’re saying is…”
3

Be honest with her.

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    Never give her a reason to doubt you so she feels secure. You can make a woman feel totally safe within your relationship by being honest and open no matter what. Try not to lie, even about the small things, so she never has any reason to feel insecure.[3]
    • Even tiny, innocuous lies might make her wonder what else you’re not being honest about.
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4

Open up to her.

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    Being vulnerable shows that you trust her. As you two get to know each other more, let your guard down and show her the real you. The more you open up to her, the better she’ll feel about being open and honest with you, too.[4]
    • You don’t have to open up all at once, but try telling her about your childhood or why your previous relationships ended. If you can let her in, even a little bit, it will help you two understand each other on a deeper level.
5

Acknowledge what she does for you.

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    Thank her for what she does so she knows you appreciate her. When you’re with your partner for a while, it can be easy to take what they do for granted. Be sure to express how thankful you are for your partner, and call out all the awesome things she does on a daily basis for you.[5]
    • “That dinner was amazing, babe. You really nailed that new recipe.”
    • “Thanks so much for taking the car to the mechanic. I was stressed about that, and you made me feel so much better.”
    • “The yard looks amazing! You’re such a good gardener.”
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6

Give her loving compliments.

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    Praise her so she knows that you love and care for her. When we’re around someone for a long time, it’s easy to forget to compliment them. If you notice that she looks particularly good or does something awesome, call it out to let her know that you’ve noticed.[6]
    • “Did you do something different with your hair? It looks amazing.”
    • “That new dress is so nice. You look stunning.”
    • “I love your sense of humor so much. You can always make me laugh.”
7

Accept all of her flaws.

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    Trying to change your partner will only lead to heartbreak. It’s totally fine to have a few small things you wish your partner would change, like how messy they are or how late they sleep in. However, try to accept your partner’s deep morals and values, because they’re probably not going to change much over time.[7]
    • People very rarely change for their spouse, even if their partner requests it over and over. You’ll be much happier if you can find a way to accept your partner’s flaws and live with who they are now.
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8

Be dependable.

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    Keep your word so she knows she can rely on you. When you make plans, always stick to them, and let her know if something pressing comes up. Be available if she has an emergency, like needing a ride or fixing a flat tire. The more she can depend on you, the more secure she’ll feel with you.[8]
    • Keep in mind that actions speak louder than words. It’s easy to say that you’ll be there for her, but it’s a little harder to actually do it.
9

Talk through your disagreements with each other.

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    Practice open communication to resolve problems quickly.[9] If your partner doesn’t have to guess about what’s wrong, she’ll feel much more secure in the relationship. Bring up issues with her right away, and talk about them thoroughly until you’ve reached a conclusion that you’re both happy with.[10]
    • When you bring things up, use “I” statements to make it sound less like an attack.
    • “When you don’t text me back for hours on end, I feel worried about you.”
    • “When you don’t make time for me throughout the week, I feel like I’m not important to you.”
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10

Stay faithful in your relationship.

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    Being faithful to your partner lets her know that she’s your one and only. To make her feel super secure and confident in your relationship, don’t cheat on her or entertain anyone else’s advances. Keep her in mind no matter what, and try not to do anything that might make her feel uncomfortable.[11]
    • If you aren’t sure what your partner’s boundaries are in your relationship, sit down and talk about it. For instance, some couples are okay with harmless flirting, while others aren’t. It’s up to you and your partner to decide what’s okay and what crosses the line.
    • If you or your partner have had problems with infidelity in your relationship, a couple’s counselor may be able to help you get back on track.[12]
11

Be a passionate lover.

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    Make an effort to please her in the bedroom so she feels loved. A great way to show your partner that you love and care for them is to stay in the moment and connect with her while having sex. Don’t just go through the motions—do things you know she enjoys to make her happy.[13]
    • If you’ve been together for a while, you might find that your sex life has gotten to be a little routine. You can switch things up by introducing romance again. Try lighting a few candles, turning on sensual music, and sprinkling rose petals around the bed to spice things up.
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Expert Q&A

  • Question
    Why does my partner feel insecure?
    Susan Pazak, PhD
    Susan Pazak, PhD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach
    Dr. Susan Pazak is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach. With more than 21 years of experience, she specializes in treating adolescents and adults with psychological issues using cognitive behavioral therapy, symptom reduction skills, and behavior modification techniques. She has been featured in numerous media outlets and shows, including “My Strange Addiction". Dr. Pazak holds a BA in Psychology with a minor in Communications from The University of Pittsburgh, an MA in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University.
    Susan Pazak, PhD
    Susan Pazak, PhD
    Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach
    Expert Answer
    Your partner may be focused on qualities they think are their flaws, and they believe you also notice these flaws. You can help them feel more secure by reassuring them that you love them and by helping them focus on their positive qualities.
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References

  1. ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/fixing-families/201409/9-tips-making-your-relationship-priority
  2. ↑ https://www.ny.gov/teen-dating-violence-awareness-and-prevention/what-does-healthy-relationship-look
  3. ↑ https://www.ny.gov/teen-dating-violence-awareness-and-prevention/what-does-healthy-relationship-look
  4. ↑ https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-do-you-create-emotional-safety-in-your-relationships
  5. ↑ https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/20-things-to-tell-your-s-o-more-often/
  6. ↑ Connell Barrett. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 24 September 2019.
  7. ↑ https://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/Keys-to-Happier-Marriage-Include-652
  8. ↑ https://www.ny.gov/teen-dating-violence-awareness-and-prevention/what-does-healthy-relationship-look
  9. ↑ Susan Pazak, PhD. Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach. Expert Interview. 22 February 2022.
  1. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm
  2. ↑ https://www.healthymarriageinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Preventing-Infidelity-How.pdf
  3. ↑ Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C. Licensed Certified Social Worker – Clinical. Expert Interview. 15 October 2021.
  4. ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships-communication/relationship-help.htm

About This Article

Susan Pazak, PhD
Co-authored by:
Susan Pazak, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Susan Pazak, PhD and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Dr. Susan Pazak is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist & Professional Life Coach. With more than 21 years of experience, she specializes in treating adolescents and adults with psychological issues using cognitive behavioral therapy, symptom reduction skills, and behavior modification techniques. She has been featured in numerous media outlets and shows, including “My Strange Addiction". Dr. Pazak holds a BA in Psychology with a minor in Communications from The University of Pittsburgh, an MA in Clinical Psychology from Pepperdine University, and a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Alliant International University. This article has been viewed 29,308 times.
6 votes - 67%
Co-authors: 3
Updated: April 15, 2022
Views: 29,308
Categories: Relationships
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