This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011.
There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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When you’re meeting someone for the first time, you’re eager to make a good impression. You want to say all the perfect things at all the right times; however, it’s not just your mouth doing the talking — the way you hold yourself is just as important. When it comes to making a good impression, you can verbally say all the right things, but it’s helpful when you’re saying all the right things through your body language too.
Steps
Conveying Confidence
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1Shake hands firmly. Weak, listless handshakes can make you seem timid and anything but confident. Your handshake should be firm but not overly tight, because you won't impress anyone by giving them a sore hand. As you shake the person's hand, make eye contact with him to show you're sure of yourself and genuinely interested in meeting him.[1]
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2Keep your posture relaxed, but not slouched. Stand up straight, but don’t tighten up so that you look rigid and nervous. If you’re a natural sloucher, make sure to check your posture sporadically and straighten up as needed.[2]
- A hunched back can make you look unsure of yourself, or even like you don’t care too much about the situation.
- Standing or sitting up straight and tall can not only make you appear more confident, but it can actually make you feel more confident as well![3]
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3Maintain an appropriate amount of eye contact. By maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to — or meeting for the first time — you’re letting her know that you’re paying attention to what she is saying. Not only are you paying attention, but you’re interested in it as well.[4] Whenever there is a natural pause in the conversation, feel free to casually glance at something else. Eye contact is good, but nonstop staring can be a little unsettling!
- Pay attention to how much you’re blinking. It can be an unconscious thing, but rapid blinking can make you look nervous or uncomfortable. If you find yourself blinking a lot, try to slow it down.
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4Keep your hands still, in your lap or at your sides. When people are nervous nervous, it’s common for them to fidget with their hands. Try to keep your hands still, or clasped in your lap if you’re sitting. Avoid touching your hair or adjusting with your clothing, which can make you seem anxious, unsure of yourself, or even deceitful.[5]
- Talk with your hands, if it’s appropriate! If you’re passionate about something you’re speaking about, feel free to gesture — just don’t overdo it.[6]
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5Widen your stance. If you want to appear confident when you're meeting someone, stand your ground! If you keep your feet close together, or crossed, you're more likely to come off as nervous or insecure. Instead, stand with your feet apart in a "power stance," and show everyone around you that you feel sure of yourself.[7]
Acting Welcoming
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1Keep your arms uncrossed. When you’re communicating with a family member or a friend who knows you well, they probably won’t think twice about your crossed arms; however, to new people, this gesture can look defensive or closed-off. It can also signal boredom and disinterest, so avoid it altogether.[8]
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2Align your body with the person you’re communicating with. In other words, turn your body so that you are facing the person fully and directly. This will show him that you are completely engaged, and he has your complete attention.[9]
- If you’re in a group of people, try not to cut anyone off or leave anyone out, but do try to pivot toward the person you want to impress.
- If you’re in a situation where it isn’t possible to completely turn towards the person, just maintain eye contact to show your interest. Disrupting an interaction by trying to angle your body towards him could make you appear overeager and might be a bit awkward.
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3Lean in slightly. Don’t get too close and invade the person's personal space, but tilt your body toward her to show her you’re attentive and engrossed in whatever she is talking about.[10] Even if you’re just ever so slightly leaning in over a tabletop or in a chair, it can convey a lot to the person you’re with whom you’re communicating.
- If you aren’t in a situation where you feel comfortable leaning in, just make sure you aren’t leaning away. Just like leaning in shows interest, leaning back shows disinterest.[11]
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4Point your legs and feet toward the person. This applies to both sitting and standing. Nothing says disinterest like angling your legs in the opposite direction, as if you're ready to leave at a moment's notice! Most people focus intently on their facial expressions and their hands when they're trying to make a good impression, but it's important to pay attention to your lower half as well.[12]
Showing Positivity and Kindness
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1Nod and smile when appropriate. These nonverbal cues can show the other person that you’re fully engaged in what he is saying, and in agreement. Try nodding three times to show that you’re really absorbing what he is saying. When it comes to smiling, make sure it reaches your eyes! If you turn up the corners of your mouth but your eyes remain neutral, you could come off as fake and insincere.[13]
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2Mirror the person you’re speaking with. Don’t be obvious, but try to casually match her body language and facial expression. By doing this, you’ll help the other person feel comfortable toward you. This mirroring technique has even been shown to increase a person's good will toward the person mirroring her.[14] If she's leaning on a wall, lean on the wall. If she has crossed her arms, cross your arms. It’s an effortless technique that can pay off big time.
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3Laugh genuinely. Even if you’re in a formal setting, if he has clearly said something that was intended to illicit a laugh, laugh! Show him that you have a sense of humor, and you’re listening to what he is saying.[15] If you’re in a tense or nerve-wracking situation, laughter is a great way to help you loosen up and lighten the mood.
- Avoid laughing out of nerves or because you have nothing to say. Random, unprompted laughter may make you look uncomfortable and nervous.
References
- ↑ http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1062941/Looking-job-A-firm-handshake-key-interview-success-say-scientists.html
- ↑ http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/18-ways-to-make-your-body-talk-the-language-of-success.html
- ↑ http://www.medicaldaily.com/pulse/why-you-should-stand-straight-benefits-good-posture-345598
- ↑ http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/18-ways-to-make-your-body-talk-the-language-of-success.html
- ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/body-language-tricks-to-make-people-like-you-2014-7
- ↑ http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/18-ways-to-make-your-body-talk-the-language-of-success.html
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/2010/07/15/body-language-feet-leadership-managing-legs.html
- ↑ http://www.today.com/health/bored-or-engaged-no-1-body-language-mistake-we-make-t26596
- ↑ http://www.businessinsider.com/body-language-tricks-to-make-people-like-you-2014-7
- ↑ http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/18-ways-to-make-your-body-talk-the-language-of-success.html
- ↑ http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/01/06/rs.body.language/
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/2010/07/15/body-language-feet-leadership-managing-legs.html
- ↑ http://www.cnn.com/2011/LIVING/01/06/rs.body.language/
- ↑ http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2011/05/31/the-art-and-science-of-mirroring/#36cc8fd856be
- ↑ http://www.inc.com/peter-economy/18-ways-to-make-your-body-talk-the-language-of-success.html
About This Article
To make a good first impression through body language, start with a confident handshake, but try to avoid squeezing the person’s hand. As you talk, maintain eye contact but remember to look away occasionally to avoid making the other person uncomfortable. Additionally, you can appear friendly by leaning in when you’re talking, because this centers your attention on the other person and makes them feel important. During your conversation, try to put your companion at ease by subtly mirroring their body and facial movements. For example, if your companion laughs and nods often, be similarly expressive, such as smiling a lot. For more advice, including how to display confidence through your body language, keep reading!
