How to Make People Stop Being Mean to You

Last Updated: March 1, 2023

If people are being mean to you by calling you names, spreading rumors, or purposely making you feel uncomfortable and sad about yourself, it is bullying.^{[1]
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Research source} When someone bullies you, you may feel helpless and alone. Bullying is wrong and you can stand up to a bully with support.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Ignoring the Culprit

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Disregard the meanie completely. In general, kids bully because either they don’t know how to talk to others, or they feel bad about themselves. By bullying people, they can feel better about their own problems.^{[2]
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Research source} By pretending you don’t hear the bully and leaving, you can defuse a situation where you are being teased. Simply pack up and leave the area.
- Another option is to ignore the presence of the bully. Whatever they are doing, don’t even look their way. By letting them know you can hear them but don’t care about what they are saying, they will think you are too strong for them to be mean to and leave you alone.^{[3]
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2
Take a different route. If you don’t feel like you can ignore the people being mean to you, try avoiding them. While you can’t drop out of school and stay at home all the time, you can try taking a new route to the playground or classroom. ^{[4]
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Research source} This will lessen their opportunities to tease or be mean to you.
- There is also safety in numbers. Have a buddy system where you walk to and from unsupervised areas can help deter a bully from coming after you.^{[5]
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3
Stand tall and with confidence. Even if you don’t feel confident, fake it. Pretend nothing can take you down and point your head up tall to the sky. By standing tall, you’re showing that you’re proud of who you are and nothing will bother you.^{[6]
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Research source} Sometimes all a meanie needs to back off is to think you’re strong and won’t be bothered by their immaturity.
- Hold in your feelings. If the meanie sees you upset, they know they’ve gotten to you. By holding in your feelings, you’ll look tough and unbothered. The biggest thing a bully wants is a reaction from you, to let them know you are upset by them. Denying them this satisfaction will hopefully make them move on to easier targets.
- To try control your feelings, count backwards from 100 or recite the alphabet. By distracting your mind, you’ll be more able to control your feelings or tears.^{[7]
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- Crying doesn’t mean you are a little kid. You are allowed to cry when sad and no adults will judge you for it. However, a mean person may view it as being an easy target for them to talk down to.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Calling the Bully out

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Tell the bully to stop in a calm manner. When the meanie is bullying you, speak up and speak clearly. Look them in the eye and tell them “Stop!”^{[8]
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Trustworthy Source
StopBullying.gov
Website run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying
Go to source} Bullies are often looking for a weak target with little resistance. Sometimes all you’ll need is a simple “no” to get them away from you.
- If you’re afraid to do this on your own, ask a buddy to stand with you. They don’t need to say anything, but can help give you courage to tell the bully to leave you around.
2
Laugh it off. Try acting like the bully is being stupid. When they tease you, laugh and shake your head. Act as if they are being so immature, you can’t help but giggle at them. The laughter may catch them off guard and stop them from being mean.^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source
StopBullying.gov
Website run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying
Go to source}
- Alternatively, your response can communicate that what the bully said didn’t bother you. Say something like “so what?” or “who cares?” or “was that supposed to be funny?”
- Support your verbal comeback with body language. For example, you can roll your eyes or shrug.
- Once you respond to the bully, it’s best just to walk away.
3
Ask your friends for help. It will rarely take a big group of people to stop a bully. Often, if one or two friends tell the meanie to stop, they will. Suggest to your friends they tell the bully they are being “mean and immature”, or that the meanie is “acting dumb.” If the bully sees people calling them out on their bad behaviour, they are less likely to repeat it at all, especially towards you.^{[10]
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- You should always stand up for someone who is being bullied, no matter who it is. Even if you see someone who is mean to you get picked on, you should stand up for them. By being nice and respectful to everyone, people will be less likely to pick on you, and more likely to stand up for you if you are bullied.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Telling a Trusted Adult

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Don’t feel like you’re tattling. Bullying is not a joke and you shouldn’t be afraid of talking to someone about it. If you’ve tried to deal with the problem on your own and had no success, think about who you trust. Try talking to a teacher or playground attendant. If you’re not comfortable with them, go to your parents. Your parents can represent you and help you talk to the teachers directly. No matter what, bullying is serious and never be afraid you’re being a tattle-tail by telling an adult. ^{[11]
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Research source} if anyone calls you a tattle tale, they are wrong. sometimes bullies will stop as soon as they think an adult knows, because they are scared of trouble.
- Sometimes all the bully needs to get scared is to know an adult has been told. Even if the adult doesn’t talk to them, the bully may be scared out of talking to you again.^{[12]
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- Explain yourself clearly. If you say you’re being “bugged” at school, the adult might not understand. Tell them plainly, “I am being bullied and need help.”
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Build an anti-bullying plan. When you ask an adult for help, you can tell them what you want done. Maybe you want the adult to step in when they see the meanie on your case, or perhaps you want to learn how to stand up to the bully. Either way, teachers are trained to deal with bullying.^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source
StopBullying.gov
Website run by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services providing information related to identifying and preventing bullying
Go to source} They can help guide you based on the situation you’re in.
- If the first adult you talk to doesn’t help you, don’t stop there. Bullying is never okay and if you can’t get help, ask someone else. Keep on asking until you find someone. This is the case for whether someone is being mean to you, or you observe someone else being bullied.^{[14]
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3
Call the Kid’s Help Phone. Kids Help Phone is a free line you can call to receive advice on being bullied or getting help. Kids Help Phone isn’t geared only towards peer bullying; if an adult is being mean to you or you think they may be treating you poorly, call Kids at 1-800-668-6868. Counselors are available to help you at any time of day.

Warnings

Don’t behave like a bully yourself. Fighting a bully will not solve the problem, but rather could get you and the bully in a lot of trouble together.^{[17]
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