How to Make Friends in a Small Town

Co-authored by Jessica George, MA, CHt and Madeleine Criglow

Last Updated: September 10, 2021 References

Getting to know new people in a small town can be really exciting. Small towns offer a community-oriented feel, with neighbors and residents usually knowing each other pretty well. This is an awesome perk of small-town life, and it's a great opportunity to join an already tight-knit community. If you're wondering how to put yourself out there and befriend people, there's a whole host of things you can do.

1

Introduce yourself to your neighbors.

Befriending your neighbors is a great place to start. So much of friendship has to do with proximity, as well as seeing someone regularly. Next time you see your neighbor in their front yard, wave, say hi, and introduce yourself.^{[1]
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- If you just moved to the neighborhood, say something like, "Hi, I don't think we've met. My name is..." Follow that by telling them that you're new to the area.
- As you get to know them, consider asking them over for dinner or beverages.

2

Join a group or club.

This helps you get to know people with similar interests as you. Try to make the step more cohesive. If you like reading, join a book club. If you enjoy sports, join a local softball or baseball team. If you're a dancer, see if there are any group dance classes offered in your town.^{[2]
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- Check if your small town has a community center. This is a good spot to find out about local clubs or teams.

3

Volunteer in the community.

Meet new people while also doing some good for your town. See if any local organizations need some help. Check out the local offerings, like festivals, events, and organizations, and offer to volunteer your time. Once you're there, introduce yourself to the other volunteers.^{[3]
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- Volunteering is also a good way to meet people with similar values as you. If you value giving back to your community and doing the right thing, others who are volunteering most likely will, too.

4

Attend local events.

You'll meet lots of new people at local festivities and events. State fairs, parades, and seasonal festivals can be great environments to meet new people. Join in on the activities each offer, introduce yourself to town residents, and ask questions about the local celebrations. People will happily welcome you to participate!^{[4]
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- Check local newspaper listings for events to attend. Even Facebook and apps like NextDoor can help you find out what's going on in your neighborhood.

5

Walk your dog around town.

A puppy is a great conversation starter. If you've got a dog, take them out for a walk through your neighborhood. People will most likely stop to say hello to you and your dog, and that gives you a chance to introduce yourself and make conversation.^{[5]
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- Take your dog to a local dog park if your town has one. Introduce yourself to other dog owners so that you (and your puppy) can make friends.

6

Go to a sports game in your town.

Cheering on a local team helps you feel like a community member. If it's football season, check out if there's a high school football game coming up in your town. Bring some snacks and a jacket and see if there's a group you can sit by on the bleachers. Join in on their conversation by remarking about a particular play or asking them about the teams.^{[6]
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- You can also try local basketball or baseball games. If you're not a sports fan, attend a musical or play at the local high school or community theater.

7

Join a gym.

Get fit and make friends while you do it. To really up your chances of making friends at the gym, check out what classes are being offered and join one. Introduce yourself to your classmates and as you start to hit it off with them, ask them to get coffee or lunch after class one day.^{[7]
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- You can even ask if one of your new friends wants to be your gym buddy. You can work out at the same time each week, motivate each other to reach your goals, and chat while you exercise.^{[8]
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8

Strike up conversations whenever you can.

Take opportunities to make friends everywhere you can find them. Talk to people in line at the grocery store. Make conversation with people when you're dropping off a package at the post office. You never know, these brief conversations can lead to lasting friendships. Even if they don't, they're good practice for being social and putting yourself out there (important skills for making friends).^{[9]
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- Use a simple but effective conversation starter like, "What a beautiful day!"
- You can also compliment the person. Try something like, "I love that jacket you're wearing."
- After the potential new friend responds, try introducing yourself with a simple, "I don't know if we've met yet, my name is..."^{[10]
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9

Avoid town gossip.

Sometimes gossip can be popular in small-town communities. Though it may not be a problem in your small town, be extra cautious not to participate if it is. When people start talking about someone else in a derogatory way (or even just saying something you know they wouldn't say to their face), gently change the subject. If that doesn't work, politely excuse yourself from the conversation. You don't want to make friendships based on putting people down.
- Change the subject gracefully by pointing out something else going on in the room. Say something like, "Oh wow, I don't mean to interrupt you, but I've never noticed that painting before!"^{[11]
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- Gossiping can really hurt other people, and if it gets back to the wrong person, you could end up losing some potential friends.

10

Be patient with yourself.

Meeting new people and building strong friendships takes time. Try not to get discouraged! If you find yourself struggling to make friends, remind yourself of all of your positive qualities. Maybe you're an excellent chef who loves cooking for your friends, or perhaps you are always there to support people in need. Know that these qualities make you a great friend, and the right people will take notice.^{[12]
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- Even if you've been rejected by a potential friend in the past, dust yourself off and keep trying. You will meet great friends. It just might take some time.^{[13]
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