How to Make Everyone Want to Read Your Diary

Last Updated: January 10, 2023

Folks are normally looking to hide their diary, but if you want to throw people off with some misinformation or catch a known snooper red-handed, it’d make sense to try and draw them out with an obvious diary. You may even want to reveal something to someone special but you don’t want to do it directly. Luckily, there are plenty of ways that you can trick someone into reading your diary. In this article, we’ll break down everything you need to know about getting someone to read your diary.

1

Choose an obvious diary.

If you already have a diary, write “do not read” or “diary” on it. If you’re starting with a new diary, buy one that has the word "diary" written in big letters across the front is a good start. As is choosing a diary with bright colors, fancy designs or lots of "Do Not Read" messages on the cover. Some diaries come with a lock and key; this can add to the sense of impenetrability (although you'll need to leave the key with the diary when hiding it so that it can be opened easily), or if you want people to notice it more often, keep the key in a chain around your neck and wear it like a necklace. And if you really want to get attention, then choose a neon or glitter cover.

2

Make the info easy to find.

Whatever you want the reader to see should be easy to spot. Consider what it is you'd like to add to the diary to make the seeker realize that they've been rumbled. How you deal with this aspect of the diary finding is up to your purpose:
- If you want the person to know that you set them up to find the diary, find some way of making this clear in the diary. You might write something that they'll find in the text of the diary, perhaps in a passage about themselves, such as "And Jake thought that when he found this diary he was such a smarty pants but little did he know that I had decided early on he needed to read these home truths about himself and I orchestrated his desire to find you dear diary."
- Or, you could make a more upfront statement at the beginning of the diary, like "Jake, you moron, I WANTED you to find this diary. Have fun reading about yourself and what I really think of you."
- Or, perhaps you want to keep this all totally subtle and only find out through things the person says or does that they have read your diary. For example, perhaps you want someone to love you or you want someone to give you gifts you really like. By orchestrating their finding of the diary and expressing your feelings or your wish list, this could result in them declaring undying love to you... or finally buying you that gadget that you actually wanted for your birthday.

3

Write in front of other people.

Spend a lot of time working in your diary where others can see you. Always write around family members. Especially around parents, spouses and nosy siblings! If they're in a room or you know they're about to go in a certain room, go sit down and start writing. Feel free to think out loud and make obtuse comments as you're writing in it.
- Laugh or smile while you're writing, or write furiously (quickly) with a determined look on your face.

4

Mention your diary.

Casually drop comments about needing to write in your diary. Do this offhandedly when you’re around people you'd like to want to read it. For example, if you've just seen something you think is of interest, you could say "Wow, now that just has to go in my diary." To whet the appetite of the person or persons whom you'd like to get all nosy about your diary, make remarks that cause them to wonder what is being written about them in the diary. Something along the lines of "Oh I write about every person in my diary, especially when I feel annoyed or upset with them."
- If the person asks you if you're writing about them in the diary, be evasive. Say something like "Maybe… maybe not. Maybe you're not worth writing in my diary…".

5

Play up the privacy of your diary.

If someone asks you about what you’re writing, make a big fuss. When they try to look, press it against your chest so no one can see and quickly say "Nothing!" The more alluring and tempting you make the diary's contents seem, the more likely your interrogator will become curious and want to know what's in it.
- Be very urgent and defensive about wanting no one reading it!

6

Carry your diary everywhere.

Never leave your diary unattended to really build the mystery. Even take it with you to go to the bathroom. This will only encourage suspicion, causing your target diary seeker to think that you're hiding something.

7

Make your diary semi-easy to find.

Keep your diary in an “obvious” hiding spot. Every diary needs to be found in a suitable place after a little rummaging. For that feeling of finder's satisfaction, the diary needs to be somewhere reasonably obvious but not too obvious. If someone can't find your diary, it will make them search and search more. Never hide it in your mattress! Some spots are:
- Behind your dresser drawer.
- In an old backpack everyone knows you don't use.
- Under some old blankets or clothes on the top shelf of the closet.
- Taped under large furniture with strong tape.
- In a zip-lock bag in the toilet tank.
- Behind a bookshelf.
- Under your bedspread.
- If someone walks into the room where you're writing, keep a blanket nearby to quickly but obviously hide it under there.

Community Q&A

Question

What do I do if someone reads my diary without permission?

Community Answer

Tell them that it was wrong for them to do that and to stop looking at your stuff.
Question

Why would people want someone to read their diary? It's personal and often ugly about others!

Community Answer

Indeed, most people would be horrified at this possibility. However, in some cases a person might have a special agenda in order to get someone to know something without having to tell them openly. And, such a person might even go so far as to make up a whole diary, filled with declarations of love or interest in a person or other expressions of feelings. Another reason can be to throw someone off the scent from the real diary, so that this fake diary takes all the heat off your real one and they stop searching for the genuine version.
Question

If the people I've allowed to read my diary get angry, what should I do?

Community Answer

That depends on what made them upset. If you were unkind in writing about them in your diary, you now have an opportunity to apologize, explain yourself, and try work out your differences. If they're angry for other, less legitimate reasons, well, maybe they aren't the sort of people you should be allowing to read your diary in the first place.

Warnings

Don't get mad at the person who reads your diary. You brought it about.

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If someone does end up reading your diary, there is a big possibility that they will tell your secrets to other people. However, given that you are doing this on purpose, you'll already know what to leave in and what to leave out. You could even keep a very secret diary online or somewhere impossible to find, while this diary acts as the decoy.

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Don't bring it to school or any public place, as there is a chance that you may lose it, someone may steal it, or something could damage it.

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