How to Leave the Mormon Church Gracefully

Last Updated: January 18, 2023

This article is mostly written for those in consideration. Leaving a church that has played a large role in your life is no small thing. If you are married or have a family that still attends it may be extremely difficult for you and upsetting to others. Your decision may affect the lives of others as well. In the end, the decision is yours. Use this form to help you make the right decision.

Steps

1
Think long and hard about what you are deciding to do. These large choices should not be made overnight. If you decide to leave the Mormon church, outline your reasons very clearly in your mind. If you're certain that you'll never want to re-join the Church, write a letter to the Bishop and request to have your name removed from church records.^{[1]
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2
Write out a list of reasons why you are leaving the church. Make sure you want to do this permanently. Some find it helpful to consider why they joined the church. Make a pros-con sheet with all the good things you've experienced compared to why you want to leave. It can be helpful to personally weigh the benefits you've seen, compared to whatever is prompting you to leave and make a balanced decision.

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3
Do some research on the doctrines and practices of the Church over time. Many people find answers to questions or doubts. Read the Book of Mormon if you haven't. That will give you huge insights into the true beliefs of the church. If you have a concern with the Church, you could search for a resolving answer and see if there is one.
4
Reach out to family and friends, especially those well-versed about the Mormon Church. They can help talk you through a decision. Many find it helpful to have a support network as they make big decisions.
5
If people asked why you left the church, simply and politely explain one of the reasons you listed earlier. There is no need to create an argument or hostile atmosphere. Those who care about you can hold a polite conversation about it.^{[2]
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6
Limit attendance at church activities. The church hosts a wide variety of activities that you may have enjoyed. You should not feel pressured to continue going to these even if you have friends who do. If it is something you enjoy, go. If not, don't.
7
Tell those who ask about you that you appreciate their concern and that you are searching your heart to make decisions that are right for you. Be friendly, but firm about what's in your heart.^{[3]
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8
Find something to do that made you feel good. Talk to friends about your feelings if you're feeling guilty/upset. Ask yourself why you feel that way. Search for ways to enhance and grow your life.^{[4]
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9
If you made a final decision, write a letter to Church Records. Make sure to include your full name, your date of birth, your current address, and today’s date. Address your letter to: Member Records Division, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 50 E North Temple Room 1372, Salt Lake City UT 84150-5310. An example is one written below:^{[5]
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- This letter is my formal resignation, effective immediately, from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I hereby withdraw my consent to being treated as a member and I withdraw my consent to being subject to church rules, policies, beliefs, and 'discipline'. As I am no longer a member, I want my name permanently removed from the membership rolls of the church.
  
  I have given this matter considerable thought. I understand the 'seriousness' and 'consequences of my actions. I am aware that the church handbook says that my resignation "cancels the effects of baptism and confirmation, withdraws the priesthood held by a male member and revokes temple blessings". I also understand that I will be "readmitted to the church by baptism only after a thorough interview". (Church Handbook of Instructions)
  
  My resignation should be processed immediately, without any 'waiting periods'. I have made up my mind and cannot be dissuaded. I expect my request to be handled promptly, respectfully, and with confidentiality.
  
  Sincerely, your signature followed by your printed name.

Community Q&A

Question

They pressured me into admitting that the reason I was leaving the church was due to my devoted love for Jesus. Now all my friends from the church who had no problem with me leaving now hate me. How do I fix it?

Community Answer

If you believe so strongly about Jesus, it doesn't matter about what other people think! It may be hard trying to explain to your friends, but if they where your real friends, they will accept you for whatever religion you are a part of. Be strong in the Lord.
Question

Is it better to write or type the letter?

Community Answer

I think it would be better to write the letter yourself, but either method would be fine.
Question

I sent the letter you refer to above. In response, I received a letter from the Membership Records Division telling me it was an ecclesiastical matter and that I had to contact the local Branch President/Bishop, what do I do?

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Community Answer

That is a standard response to your resignation. Your bishop or stake presidents will probably try to contact you to make sure that you want to resign. You don't have to meet with them to have your resignation go through. In 1-2 months, you should get a final letter telling you that your names have been removed from the records of the church. If you don't get a final letter, you might want to resign again with quitmormon.com. That site is run by a lawyer who helps people resign for free.

Warnings

Mormons often say that people leave the church due to being offended by members although the doctrine is sound. A common phrase is "The church may be true, even though the people are not." Be prepared to hear this.

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Make sure your decision is just that, yours. You shouldn't let your family or friends make this decision for you. Your family should have more love for you (the person). And even if they don't love you or respect your decision, it is ultimately nobody's decision but yours.

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People from church may occasionally try to reestablish contact with you over the years. If they do, be polite while expressing your disinterest. They are doing it with good intentions. You can be firm while not being rude. Friendships may certainly continue even if you are not of the same faith anymore.

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Things You'll Need

Supportive friends or family.
A piece of paper and a pen.
A copy of The Book of Mormon or other official church teachings (if you plan on studying it out more before concluding)